A submissives journey

Part 3: The Fetish Wardrobe: Accessorizing For Pain & Pleasure

My friend Julia has a mane of long blond hair. Thick, curly, and glowing in a hundred shades of gold. When she walks into a party, she may be wearing one of her full-length purple velvet capes, but it's her hair that draws stares. What a gift she's been given.

I think of hair as part of the "accessories" aspect of the fetish wardrobe. The great thing about accessories, whether bestowed upon us by nature or by the jewelry store, is that they can make otherwise neutral clothing into something startling. This part will look at some ways to use accessories to zip up your budget fetish wardrobe.

One of the best places to get inexpensive accessories is at those mall jewelry and clothing stores which cater to teenagers. The gothic look is very in now, so you'll find a huge selection of studded jewelry as well as kink-themed hats, gloves, purses, belts, and other items. Some areas you can focus on are:

Collars
My very first collar was a black dog collar with studs purchased at the pet store for under $10. Not fancy, no. But it clearly advertised my submissive nature. Later on I picked up a stunning spiked collar on Ebay.com for under $30 and custom sized to boot. Commonly used for submissives, collars are universal symbol of the BDSM lifestyle, but Dominants also use them as well. Chokers are another sexy piece of jewelry which focus attention on the face.

Gloves
We don't often see gloves in daily life, so they assume a feeling of eroticism when worn with a fetish outfit. Arm length evening gloves are wonderful and inexpensive, starting around $10. They do make it a little difficult to hold on to things, so don't wear them if you are doing a scene or managing the food table. Another great style is the fingerless lace gloves, also less than $10 at accessories shops. They have a bit of that "Material Girl" kind of feel, and are comfortable and cool even on a hot summer evening.

Hair & Hats
So you don't have hair like Julia, try a wig instead. Costume stores have stunning wigs in every hue and style for very reasonable prices. Also pick up some sexy hair accessories as well as gold and silver sparkles which come in gels or sprays. I also enjoy doing my hair in one bright color like red for the holidays or green for Saint Patrick's day. Shop just before Halloween for tons of decorative items for under $5. Don't forget your options in hats. Cool antique type hats can be had for a song at consignment shops as well as in specialty shops for "antique" clothing. Also pick up some spiky hair gel and do something interesting with your hair for the evening. If you like hats, scrounge around the consignment shop for antique or unusual hats.

Jewelry
Thanks to the teenage gothic subculture, the malls are full of inexpensive jewelry stores. Look for big bold designs, as well as the usual collars, bracelets, finger rings and other items with studs. I have a lovely "Story of O" silver ring which looks like a little collar.

Belts
Studded and spiked belts can be a wonderful addition to a plain black outfit. Also consider gold or silver chain belts, as well as hip belts for the ladies.

Skin & Nails
I love to wear sparkles on my skin and hair, something which is a fairly inexpensive item from any beauty supply store or Wal-Mart type store. Gold, silver, pink, purple, every color is available. Henna and other temporary tattoos can give your exposed skin a bit of interest without any permanency. If you have real tattoos, be sure to show them off. If you have beautiful fingernails, show them off with bright colors or even gold and silver. You can also pick up a set of fake nails and use the cool decorations and jewels. With as many foot fetish freaks as we have, don’t forget to show off your sexy toes.

Cosmetics
The word in make-up is bright and bold. Ladies, go for the sexy red and hot pink lipsticks, or black if that's your style. False eyelashes are very inexpensive and will give your eyes an exotic look, especially if you get the ones available around Halloween which are made with multi colored foil. Thanks to Alicia Keys, you can also pick up faux jewels for the eyelids which sparkle every time you blink.

Perfume
There's nothing sexier than leaning close to someone and catching the scent of their perfume or cologne. Remember not to overdo it, but also remember to wear it. Every little thing adds to your allure.

Shoes
Ahhh, shoes. Yup, I have a bit of a shoe fetish. Does this mean I have to totter around in five inch heels in the kind of pain I might not be enjoying? Of course not. In fact, all my heeled shoes are 1.5" heels or lower. If high-heeled fuck me pumps make you feel hotter than a Florida summer day, then by all means wear them. But if not, go for the lower heels. Narrow ones will make your feet look slimmer. Aim for bright colors and strappy looks. If you like the tough look, try some shit-kickin' boots. Ebay.com is great for shoes as most people have standard sizes. Also visit your local consignment shops and inexpensive shoe stores like Payless.

Stockings
Stockings are my top pick for inexpensive sexy accoutrements. Pantihose don't hold a candle to a garter peaking out from under your skirt. Shop around on the Internet for garter belts under $20 and stockings in every color for under $10.

When All Else Fails
Be creative. Chain belts can be worn as necklaces. Safety pins can be daisychained into earrings and bracelets. Scarves can be tied around the bust as a cropped top. Use your imagination, and let your fetish wardrobe go wild.

A three part series that includes:

Part 1: Can't I Just Wear My Flannel Shirt? Why Fetish Wear is De Rigeur
Part 2: Developing a Fetish Wardrobe on a Budget
Part 3: Accessorizing for Pain & Pleasure