A submissives journey


What's new

 on Asj?





Chapter 1
The Asj Community


Chapter 2
Resource Information 




Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch



Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge


Chapter 5

 The Library





Chapter 6




Chapter 7

 Useful Links





Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts




Chapter 9

 Members Only





Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index




Chapter 11
Asj's Online Store




Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List









Have you asked

            your Dominant...

The question is often asked, how can you tell a real Dominant from a fake, how can you be sure this Dominant is the right Dominant for you, and endless list of how do you know questions.  By asking your potential Dominant these questions, you may find yourself better able to answer your own questions and understand His expectations of you.

  • How long have you been involved in the D/s lifestyle, and what led you to this lifestyle in the first place?

  • Do you have or plan to have a more than one slave/submissive, on or offline?

  • What sort of relationship are you looking for?  (Online only, phone, real world, potential marriage/permanent partner?)

  • How much time are you willing to devote to training a new sub, and how much of her time would you require in return?  Would you have daily contact with your submissive/slave?

  • Do you indulge in these pleasures with women/men in "real life"?    If so, what precautions for health and safety are involved?  What type of safety precautions do you feel are necessary for an online or phone relationship?

  • What sort of training/education have you had to be the dominant member of this relationship?  Have you had experience training a submissive who is new to D/s?  What made you decide this was for you?

  • What are your basic philosophies with regard to D/s.

  • What are your rules, contracts, agreements, etc.?  What do you require of your slave and of yourself?

  • What sort of structured training do you prefer to use?  What sorts of discipline/punishment for infractions?  What kinds of tasks do you assign your save to perform for you?

  • What are your deepest desires, pleasures, hopes for this relationship?  What, in your opinion, does the Dom receive in return for His time, love and protective care over his sub?

  • Do you have any references available that I might contact?

Author Unknown: If you know *who* the author is, or you are the author 

please email us so that we can appropriately annotate this.



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Questions about our site?   Click the ask live icon to chat live or leave a message with our site host.  CJ isn't always available, but generally you can find Him here from about 8:30 - 11:00 pm Eastern time. Your questions about the site, the Asj community or just about the lifestyle in general are always welcome.  If nothing else, take a moment and tell us what you think of this feature!  








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Revised: May 27, 2017