As
there is often the mentioning about the use of safe words, I
thought it would be a good time to share my personal view on
safe words.
Lets first determine what a
safeword actually is.
A safeword commonly is a word or
series of words agreed on between a Dominant and a submissive to
be used during a scene, by either party, to end the scene
immediately and stop all scene activity.
The most common series of
safe words I am aware of is: Red (stop), Yellow (slow down, go
easy), Green (more, proceed), that might be used by a submissive
during a scene to direct the Dominant.
Safewords are meant to protect a
submissive and is used mainly by the submissive during a scene,
should the submissive feel distress, uneasy or pushed over her
perceived limit during a scene, and basically empowers the
submissive control over the scene or the Dominants actions.
Now, with having established what
a safe word is lets look closer at its application and the
problems I have with it within the concept of slavery.
One of the reasons a slave enters
into a commitment of slavery, is the giving up of control to her
Master, who in turn takes on the control given up by the slave
with additional responsibility for his slave. In our case this
is Absolute Power Exchange.
If we now give or allow our
slaves a safe word, we are handing back that power and
responsibility to our slave, in complete opposition of the
concept of Absolute or Total Power Exchange.
As most slaves enjoy being
without that power and control and even enjoy the feeling of
bondage and helplessness and we Masters enjoy being in control,
in power and like the voluntary bondage and helplessness of our
slaves, a safe word puts the entire concept of Power Exchange in
question and enters a Master/slave commitment into the realms of
role-play.
Absolute and Total Power Exchange
and Absolute Slavery is not about role-play, but about a real
life commitment and lifestyle. To change the power structure
within a Master and slave commitment for the sole purpose of
playing and scening is in my opinion absurd at best.
There are of course those who now
will say, “But what about… and what if such and such happens…
and what if it rains on a night of full moon when Leo rises in
Orion which causes a Satellite to be off course and which overly
tightens the slaves restraints in a manner that the Dominant
cannot see it because of an impending solar eclipse… and… and…
and…”
Nothing is answered easier then
these concerns using just a little of the dreaded common sense.
Should the slave find herself
indeed in distress, overly tightly restrained, or feels
otherwise in danger, a slave may simple use her God given mouth
and respectfully say so. No magical formula or safeword is
needed for that.
The power and final decision
remains with the Master, as it should be.
Most experienced Masters should
have their ability developed to recognize if their slave is in
distress or experiences some sort of problem, and often so
before the slave has even noticed.
The use of the color codes
safe words such as Red, Yellow and Green personally irritate the
hell out of me, as I am not a massage therapist nor am I a
service Dom.
Now, for fairness purpose, I need
to admit that there might indeed be situations where safewords
might be a good idea or even appropriate.
Such situations might arise if a
slave plays with a virtual stranger, who is not their Master,
and has little or no knowledge about the slave such as might
happen at Play Parties for instance, or with a first play
session for plays sake. But in any case, a safeword at its best,
is only as safe as a Dominants willingness to abide by it.
MasterEso@esodom.com
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