From Virtual to Real Time.... The first meeting...

Here are a few rules and guidelines for a safe first meeting. They may sound totally paranoid to you, but hey ,it's better safe than sorry isn't it? As many will tell you, your first meeting should be a purely social one! Don't plan on sceneing the first time you meet! And yes, establish ahead of time a time limit that you both are aware of for this first meeting, usually not more than 90 minutes seems to work well. Don't forget to use common sense, whether this is your first meeting, or your tenth. These guidelines can easily be adapted to any meeting you have with someone, whether in the lifestyle or not! Keep yourself safe!

1. Talk to the person on the phone before meeting. Sounds obvious? ... Well, for my sake, just do it. A voice can help you in better evaluating the person you will be meeting. Also, if you were planning on meeting a lovely woman, and the person on the phone has a sexy baritone voice - well, you know what I mean...

2. Meet for the first time in a public place. Period! Hotels rooms are not public places!

3. Try meeting in a group. If possible, include in that group at least one person you already know and trust.

4. Make sure someone you trust knows of your plans- whom are you meeting, where and when. Leave with that person all means of communication - your own cellular phone number or pager, the phone number and address of the place where you will be and the name, phone number and even address of the person you will be meeting.

5 Fix with that same person an hour in which you will call him, to let him know everything is all right. Fix a codeword which means, there is a problem in case you will not be able to talk freely. Should you fail to call at the scheduled time, or if you use the codeword, that person will be able to call for help. (see the related postings on "Safe Calls")

6. Let the person you are meeting KNOW that you are supposed to call someone, sometime. You don't have to tell him when... but it is enough that it is knows someone is expecting to hear from you during the meeting.

7. If, during the meeting, you are leaving the place where you met- excuse yourself, call your contact person and let him know of the change.

8. Do not- I repeat, do NOT- go to desolate areas, private apartments etc. Stay PUBLIC on the first meeting!

9. Make sure you have the means to return to your home on your own. Do not depend on your date, friends or any other person.

10. Make sure you have a way to be contacted or contact someone else ~ a cell phone, change for a payphone etc.

11. If the person you are meeting refuses to meet in public, to let you make a phone call in private or tries to make you come to a desolate place with him despite your refusal- do NOT trust him! Leave! ... A person who has no ill intention, has nothing to fear from these.

12. When meeting someone for the first time real time, never meet in a bar or somewhere you or the other person you are meeting is likely to consume alcohol. The lifestyle and drunks don't mix!

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