Jealousy or insecurities is the number one poly relationship problem. There are very few totally non-jealous people around. If you are not jealous you are at advantage to help the others by being patient and adaptable to help the other get through their jealous issues or insecurities, but this does not mean you should not be so patient or adaptable that your needs are not being met. I personally can back off and have a lesser degree of a relationship for the other person, but I cannot do this long term.

Jealousy cannot just go away. It is something that has to be verbalized and out in the open. It is not something that goes away just because you love someone. Just because a Dominant wants a third (or forth or fifth) and their partner is a "slave" does not mean that that slave can magically have all his/her insecurities and emotions go away saying "I'll just do this for my Master (or Mistress)" does not work. You have to deal with the issues causing the insecurities.

I am not sure where I got this but I thought it was interesting. If you know the source please let me know so I can give credit to them.

"Jealousy occurs only when one's needs are not being met".

The above quote, I believe, is absolutely true. However, jealousy can occur by ones own issues as well - things that are unknown sometimes are hard to accept, understand and be open too. It also can be a symptom of a lack of self-confidence and self-worth. All of which take time to learn or heal. Unfulfilled needs can be one cause, but really, jealousy is just is a symptom to a larger issue.

I do think that jealously and insecurities can be worked through with communication. If all parties are open and honest that is the way to deal with fears and issues.

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