A submissives journey

A submissive or slave's role is to serve their Master/Mistress. In real life, they will just do it! Quickly, efficiently, bringing him or her their favourite drink and food, or anything else for which they ask. In return, the Dominant may smile on the submissive in appreciation of his or her service to them. Then again they may not, simply because in real life, they will be served in such a way, dozens of times in a single day. Their appreciation will be total but may not be demonstrated at each single task.

But also, in real life, the reality is that what goes through the submissive's mind when asked to serve may not match the ideal. Consider the submissive slave folding a mountain of washing in the laundry, being called into the sitting room to light the cigarette in their Dominant's right hand while they offer them the lighter with their left hand. Do they light it? Of course? Do they smile while doing so? Most likely! Are they happy to do so? Sometimes! Do they complain? Never! But their mind might be filled with thoughts such as 'I am so busy, surely s/he could have lit their own cigarette?'

The reality of what a submissive thinks and does may not match the fantasy that is propagated in idealistic Dominant submissive (D/s) writings, often setting a submissive to doubt themselves, to make them feel less than the standard which they are certain that their brothers and sisters achieve easily. How can you stop the thought from flashing through your mind, "Why don't you get it yourself, you're closer!' In my humble opinion, no amount of 'training' will prevent such thoughts which, on the face of it, are entirely reasonable. The issue is overcoming those thoughts surrounding their Dominant's behavior which the submissive's mind has determined as being inconsiderate, unreasonable, unpleasant or untimely. And yes, submissives do have negative thoughts about their Dominant's regard of them.

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Ask most submissives why s/he serves a Dominant and they will answer "Because I have a burning need to please, to express my desire and willingness to put my Dominant before myself, to satisfy all their needs." This is the macro. But examining each task separately, often the submissive's physical and emotional environment and circumstances will dictate a different immediate mind response. They may be feel tired, stressed, upset, tested or unappreciated. They may have the unexpressed expectation that their Dominant should have an equal need to please, and to put them before him or herself! After all, they are loved and cherished, and selflessness is supposed to be a fixture of a loving relationship. This kind of attitude then begs the question, is it therefore a burning need to please, or a need to be found pleasing?

An example of this position my be found in online service. Why do online submissives offer to serve a Dominant a refreshment? After all, despite the effort and consideration that goes into the exercise, the reality is that a cool or warming drink is not the end result. If the Dominant is sitting in front of their computer thirsty or hungry, they will physically remain that way even after the submissive has brought them their request, and they have raised the glass or morsel to their lips and partaken of the offering.

In my opinion, the overriding reason is that the submissive desires to be found pleasing. They enjoy the admiration given to a good channel serve, to their literary expertise, their use of imagery. This admiration may come from the Dominant that the submissive is trying to get to know better, or from their Master/Mistress who glows in the pride of having such an attentive and admired slave, and from the spectators who enjoy watching the serve. Now, a submissive slave who does not believe that they have the literary skills will not resort to online serves, or does so hesitantly and nervously at the insistence of others. But do they hold less that desire to serve, or is it that they hold equally or even to a greater extent, the desire to be found pleasing and believing that they possess that which they consider an inadequate skill, determine that they will be judged as not pleasing?

Is the pleasure to be found in doing the task for the Dominant such at cleaning their toilet, or in receiving the expressed gratitude ie: "you are such a good girl."? And where are we situated emotionally when our immediate effort has gone ignored or uncommented on sufficient to our expectation. We can feel unappreciated and hurt because our Dominant has not responded according to the level of pleasing us that we have subconsciously set for them. After all, isn't a simple smile and "you're such a good girl" little to ask in return for an hour of performing ,what is considered by most of society, an unpleasant task such as cleaning a bathroom? Can we help not focusing on the micro in these situations in preference to the macro of servitude?

The answer is yes!. But we first must examine our feelings honestly. We must own up to the fact that we are human beings with all the human frailties. We have moments of jealousy, of pettiness, of disregard, and of anger. To deny their existence is to deny our unique humanity. We need to accept that we will at times find ourselves victims of stress, tiredness, self doubt; in times of weakness of body, spirit and/or mind. We need to know that we are not alone in those feelings; and that the ideal submissive/slave exists only in fantasy.

Most people need to be employed. How often have you heard someone say "I love my job!" And yes, they truly do but if you examine that love, you find that there are some tasks involved in the "job" that they hate, or dislike, or workmates who are seen as annoying etc; and there maybe feelings that they aren't as appreciated as they should be, or they carry a bigger load in the company than they should because the work is not evenly distributed. There may be some mornings where they just don't want to get out of bed, or prefer to do something instead of going to work, and so they ring their boss and tell them they are "sick".

The truth is that they they don't want a different job in preference to the one they have. In the macro big picture, they are happy being with their firm, doing the kind of work they do, and with the general conditions of their employment. In the micro day to day examination of their "job" there is much that they would like changed , and some things they are not particularly happy with.

Submission is a job which is undertaken willingly and lovingly. The job descrption is to serve a Dominant in all things; to do your utmost to make your Master/Mistress happy, and satisfied in their needs. Should you put their needs before your own? I don't believe that should always be the case when your needs are not being satisfied. In this instance, again reverting to the macro, a slave whose needs aren't being satisfied is unhappy, and has the option of leaving the relationship and finding a Dominant who can better satisfy her/his needs. In that situation, you could say "I love the work but I am not happy where I am, and will find somewhere else to employ me".

Does this seem simplistic, and contrary to the fantasy of a slave's existence? I think it is a more realistic view. If you like the city but not the neighborhood, you move. If you are married but unhappy in the relationship, you get a divorce. If you want the service e.g.. telephone, but are unhappy with the service provider, you change the provider.

So, if we are honest with ourselves, we can admit that our relationship with our Dominant is not perfect, that s/he is not a perfect Master/Mistress, and that we are not perfect submissives. Having accepted these facts, then we can look at each task, and the thoughts and responses surrounding them. Are we there to truly please our Dominant or are we there to please ourselves, and to be found pleasing? Taking the micro approach, I believe that it is more honest to state we are pleasing ourselves in that we wish to be found pleasing and when we find we haven't been found pleasing, or at least had that fact sufficiently acknowledged, we subject ourselves to the demons of the mind. But demons can be vanquished.

A life of servitude is not an easy road but for those with a submissive heart, it is the only road that will take them to personal happiness. This lies in embracing the macro of D/s, not the fantasy of D/s. We choose to serve because it is our need. We choose to give our Dominant the power over us, to make our decisions for us, to teach us to serve in the most pleasing way to him or her. In essence, we trust our Dominant to keep us happy.

I have a favorite saying which I tell my own Master, "Even when I am unhappy, I am happy." Simply, this means I am content in our relationship, I love my job, I am secure, I am in love, my needs are being met even though he may not be pleased with me at the minute because I have angered him or disappointed him, and am punished; or that a task I have been given is not something I would wish to do if I had a choice; or he has denied me something I had wanted. And when he feels that hurt or resentment in me, he has a favorite saying "hali, move on." And I do! Because I am a submissive and he is my Master.

If we accept the realities of who we are, if we accept the realities of our D/s lives, and we understand that it is natural to have the emotional responses that we do to the individual experiences we share with our Dominants on a daily basis, we can overcome them, even become stronger for knowing our own reactions because then we can say every time negative thoughts enter our head, "I am not alone and I understand who I am." We are strong enough to sit down and talk with ourselves. We are committed enough to share those thoughts with our Masters and Mistresses. We are brave enough to admit we are not perfect. And we are wise enough to understand the imperfections of our Dominants.

Servitude is not an easy road but it is the only road that those with a submissive's heart can walk. And as with every road, it has pot holes, bends and curves and crossroads. Keep your mind focused on the journey's end and not on the many stumbles along the way. Walk in the sunlight with a clear mind and a willing heart and your journey will be a happy one.

(Author unknown, if you are the author, or know who the author is, please

contact Me so that appropriate acknowledgement for this article can be given, in the

interim, this is assumed to be public domain)

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