A submissives journey

Chapter 1
The Asj Community

Chapter 2
Resource Information 

Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch

Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge

Chapter 5

 The Library

Chapter 6
BDSM

Chapter 7

 Useful Links

Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts

Chapter 9

 Members Only

Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index

Chapter 11
Asj's Online Store

Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List

Chapter 13
Asj slave, sub Registry

Submissive vs. Slave - Why are we still debating?

I can't even remember the first time I heard people arguing the differences between submissives and slaves. However I can tell you I have heard the topic discussed dozens of times since then and the final results are always the same.


Each person is going to bring into the "discussion" their individual take on what the differences are, along with these opinions most will feel they know the true definition of both. Should we be relieved that finally someone has been able to differentiate between the two in a clear concise manner? No? You mean there isn't one right answer, there are others? Of course there are.


I have to wonder when it became so important for us to label ourselves & when being one became "better" than being the other. Yes, I own a site called "A Slaves Love",does that mean perhaps I know the best definition of the differences between a submissive & slave? No, definitely not.


I have read several articles on other sites stating the dictionary definitions of what a submissive is and what a slave is. If it were truly this easy then there would be no reason why people are still debating. Perhaps we should chalk the definitions of both to that of "love." The dictionary has a very short easy to understand definition for the word "love" yet it is something different to everyone. And come to think of it we don't constantly argue the point that someone's definition of love is wrong because it does not mirror our own. So why should we be concerned to come up with the one right definition of submissive and slave?


We have all heard the differences stated time and time again, some more far fetched than others. Here are a few examples:

A submissive is only submissive in bed, while a slave is submissive everywhere.

A submissive is intelligent, while a slave is not so bright.

A submissive has limits, while a slave has no limits.

A submissive is owned until they don't want to be, & a slave is owned forever unless given away.

A submissive is a switch, & a slave is a switch upon command.

A submissive is either heterosexual, homosexual, or lesbian but not bi, whereas a slave has to be bi.

A submissive doesn't have rules, whereas a slave has dozens.


What do I say to all of this? It does not matter if you are a submissive or slave. What matters is that you are comfortable with who you are & that you are being true to yourself. Being a slave doesn't make someone better than a submissive. Nor does being a slave mean you are more submissive than a submissive. Being a slave also does not mean that you are less able to deal with day to day life in the same manner a submissive does. Also being a slave does not mean you are a doormat without a mind.


The need to label & differentiate has become such a need for some, but I have to admit for me it simply doesn't matter.


I don't care if someone is a slave, submissive, switch, bottom, top, dominant, or none of the above. What does matter to me is that people are good & can accept others for all their individual differences & are tolerant of others beliefs.


So when the topic comes up again, & it will, I will simply ask, "Does it really matter if you are a submissive or a slave, doesn't it matter more that you are a person who is embracing your beliefs without being judgmental of others?"


For me the debate is over & has been for a long time. I am who I am & if I don't fit someone's definition of what I should be then that is no concern of mine. I will still accept them for who they are, but will hope they can get beyond the need to shove me into a label.

Questions about the D/s lifestyle or the Asj web site?   Click the ask live icon to chat live or leave a message with our site host.  CJ isn't always available, but generally you can find Him here from about 8:30 - 11:00 pm Eastern time. Your questions about the site, the Asj community or just about the lifestyle in general are always welcome.  If nothing else, take a moment and tell us what you think of this feature!