A submissives journey




Chapter 1
The Asj Community



Chapter 2
Resource Information 





Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch



Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge



Chapter 5

 The Library






Chapter 6





Chapter 7

 Useful Links






Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts





Chapter 9

 Members Only






Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index




Chapter 11
Asj's Online Store




Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List











Asj Community Membership Free Trial Offer Banner















A slaves right...



Recently, a friend stated that understanding the "hard wiring of a slave, compared to a submissive, was giving her some difficulty, and she asked the interesting question of whether a slave, would EVER feel it is their "right" (a very loaded worry for a slave) to leave their Owner...  perhaps if: circumstances became so "different" that the slave felt their emotional or physical well being was at risk?


My reply was, and still is  -- as follows:


Firstly, i think you're correct, with your use of the term "hardwiring". :) i've used it myself, and by hardwiring, in this case, i mean a genetic or predisposed disposition towards a certain type of living condition that most others not only don't need in order to be happy, but couldn't exist happily within. And whereas a slave's thought  process allows them to understand and experience this type of living condition as having a need met, others--not having this need--cannot quite see it in this light. So while submissives and slaves have a great deal in common, where they diverge, they become rather foreign to one another.

Speaking, from this point on, in broad generalities... You are correct in saying that slaves find the word "right" to be loaded, because a slave exists with the understanding that once owned, they no longer have rights within their Master slave relationship, but only whatever privileges their  Owners might allow them to have. This is a necessary  component of slavery, and meets a need for both the Owner and the slave... one to have control, and the other  to relinquish it. It is then the Owner's prerogative to return to the slave whatever privileges they desire the slave to have, and the abilities the slave needs, in order to be of  service and to be content within their enslavement. So, no: without the Owner giving the slave the ability, by either release, or a direct order; or the slave having a standing order to do so if certain predetermined criteria are met;  the slave does not have the right to leave.

Also-- and something which is a bit different --many slaves do not have the ability to leave, either. And this is precisely why slavery, or the enslavement of another, is a dangerous thing in which to become involved. Sometimes, one does not grasp all the implications until it is too late.

This can be a bit of a touchy subject, since most people, even submissives, don't understand the mindset, and sometimes when slaves voice these things which are their truths, they are looked upon as being mentally incompetent, or as if they are aliens set down amongst you. :| It is also part of why so many slaves will tell you that they did not want to be a slave, and why so many, myself included, have tried so hard to be something else.

I have been told multiple times that "everyone can leave", and have refuted that statement as best i am able.  My explanations often aren't understood, however, because they deal with a particular way of thinking that seems individual to slaves. It is simply assumed that if someone is physically able to do so, at a certain point they will remove them self from a relationship that is "bad" or  "dangerous", and this just isn't true.

The "ability to leave" is a misleading statement, as it is  quite often dependent upon the perceptions of the  individual. Having the physical ability does not mean that  the mental/emotional capability to follow through with the action exists, nor does it consider any psychological conditioning prohibiting this action that may be in place within the slave's mind.  Many, many slaves do not have the mental/emotional capacity--after years of training and psychological modification to accept a different life and reality--that would allow them the ability to "just leave". It isn't that simple. Regardless that this mindset is considered, in general, to be mentally/emotionally unsound and psychologically unhealthy, that doesn't negate it's actual existence. (Most people accept the conventional wisdom of "mind over matter" only when it suits them to do so; but because someone does not believe a thing, that doesn't make it any less the truth.) slaves simply know, in their hearts, and in their heads, that they are owned property and cannot do anything without the permission of their Owner; and having  lived, sometimes for decades--as a slave, their lives, as well as their Owners' actions, condition them until this mindset becomes an irrefutable truth.

There is also the very real possibility that a slave, once released or having left their Owner, will no longer be capable of functioning properly on their own in society and the greater world. Sudden withdrawal of the control and structure they have become used to existing within can very easily overwhelm a slave who has not been "prepared" and de- and/or re-conditioned. Much as a wild animal that has been tamed and become dependent on man, a slave becomes dependent upon their Owner; and much as that wild animal must be taught how to care for itself again in the wild, so must a slave be re-taught what was once "normal" behavior. This is a very scary realization.

Another of the arguments i often hear is that someone cannot be held against their will, as it is illegal. Because something is illegal, it doesn't necessarily follow that it doesn't happen... just that it isn't enforceable by law.. Murder isn't legal, either, and I'm afraid it happens on an all-too-regular basis. Something can also be enforced by conditions that have nothing to do with the law, as well; the Mafia does it all the time.

My final point is the matter of a slave's honor, which should never be written off too lightly. While realize that it may not be true for the majority of people these days, many people--including some people of the slave variety--believe that their word and honor is a greater bond than any chain made in this world, and they would, quite literally, die before breaking their given vow, or sully the honor of either their Owners, or themselves. This would, once again, negate the physical ability to leave, and such slaves are therefore bound for the duration of their  commitment... even if that to which they committed proves to be undeserving.

So, without painting all slaves the same with a single broad brush, i have now given you an answer, and some of the reasoning for it, from one slave's POV. :) We all realize that there will be different opinions from other slaves, different answers and reasoning, and so i will add the caveat that all such differing opinions are as valid and true for those who make them, as these i have stated here are for myself; furthermore, i hope others will post some of those different opinions. 

(c) copyright rory doulos, 2004 All rights reserved

posted here with permission of the author


QQuestions about our site?    Click the ask live icon to chat live or leave a message with our site host.  CJ isn't always available, but generally you can find Him here from about 8:30 - 11:00 pm Eastern time. Your questions about the site, the Asj community or just about the lifestyle in general are always welcome.  If nothing else, take a moment and tell us what you think of this feature!  









Join Alt.com - largest BDSM/Alternative Lifestyle Personals!



Copyright 2001 - 2015  [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved.
Revised: September 19, 2015