A submissives journey


Chapter 1
The Asj Community


Chapter 2
Resource Information 




Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch



Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge


Chapter 5

 The Library




Chapter 6




Chapter 7

 Useful Links




Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts




Chapter 9

 Members Only




Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index




Chapter 11
Asj's Book Store




Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List



Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction









Online Predators

The internet can be a wonderful instrument to meet people, develop friendships and relationships. But along with all the good the internet brings, there are real risks. I would like to believe that i live in a world where everyone is honest and they have only honorable intentions. Unfortunately, I don't. Being aware of the risks, using common sense and watching out for one another is the best way for us all to be safe.

The Online Predator

The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body, mind, heart and soul.

Characteristics of a Predator:

1. Liar: ( Self explanatory )
2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate others.
8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends.
9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.
10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities.
11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.
12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and filling those voids completely. 13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.
14. Lacking in Self Control: Although at times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline.

A predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. It may be that the only place the predator seems to have honor and value Truth is in the Relationship he is developing with his victim. When developing a new relationship, a submissive should make a conscious effort to observe her partner's interaction with others, not just how he interacts with her. The predator may well reveal his true self through his interactions. But, the submissive may only see this revelation if she is committed to taking every precaution for her own safety.

Predator Warning Signals:

While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them.


Do not tell _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
( _ _ _ _ _ ) is crazy ! ( or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me )
It would be best if you no longer spoke to _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
I do not need to defend myself against lies. They are just jealous ( of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me ).
May seldom be in the D/s chat rooms. Operates from other areas or private rooms.
Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable.
Becomes defensive or angry when questioned.
Questions the sincerity of the submissive when questioned.
He will usually discourage or forbid the practice of reference checks.
He will usually discourage or forbid the use of Safe Calls.

The Submissives Personal Warning Signals

These are items that a submissive should pay attention to if she is saying them to herself or hearing them from others.

I feel he is just too good to be true.
You are hearing consistent warnings from more that one person.
Your instincts are whispering something is not right about this person.


The final best defense any submissive has against an Online Predator is her own common sense and judgment. The submissive should always remember that desires, needs, and the heat of the moment can combine to drown that judgment. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a potential partner with common sense and not with passion.




Questions about  the D/s Lifestyle or the Asj web site?   Click the Live Chat  icon to chat live or leave a message with our site host.  CJ isn't always available, but generally you can find Him here from about 8:30 - 11:00 pm Eastern time. Your questions about the site, the Asj community or just about the lifestyle in general are always welcome.  If nothing else, take a moment and tell us what you think of this feature!  



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Copyright 2002 - 2011 [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved.
Revised: January 11, 2013