A submissives journey - The Dominant submissive relationship

Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself nor others with whom I shared my life. But, it became my greatest pride when I finally realized how beautiful and loving an exchange it can be. The only rule for a Dominant submissive relationship is that there are no rules. What each submissive wants is different and takes varying forms.

In my hundreds of conversations with submissive women, one thing stands out prominently and that is that very few men realize the importance that submission holds for her. It is far more than a physical experience. It is an emotional connection with you so meaningful that it contains her very soul.

Though Dominant submissive relationships are often very light and spontaneous and sometimes treated as a special sensual playtime, for her it is the most real in her life. It is not a game for her. To treat it as such is to trivialize her greatest expression of love. Being submissive is very erotic for her. It touches her sexuality in the most powerful way and when combined with the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a woman can ever have.

In fact, many women have confided in me that they were afraid of the intensity of their sexual energy. They fear that should they reveal the full extent of their sexual excitement at being a submissive, they will be misunderstood. Often, the smallest of looks or commands will leave them drenched with sexual excitement. As her Master, it should be your pleasure to extract each nuance of sexual pleasure from her. When she gives herself to you completely, she is also giving you the freedom to explore the depths of her sexuality and passion, to take her places she cannot go herself, to have experiences she probably cannot ask for, for she is depending on you her Master, to give her the push to get beyond any resistance you may encounter.

Getting past resistance is where your strength and understanding as a dominant is essential. If you back off instead of encouraging her onward, she will not be able to explore the depths of herself. She needs your unconditional love and support to feel safe, to go where she cannot go alone. As you sexually open her body to you, you are opening her heart and soul.

Though changing rapidly, most women have been raised to be ashamed of their sexual feelings. Being with a dominant who treasures a woman's natural sexuality enough to go forward where most would stop, is an extremely liberating experience for her. It also touches upon her desire to reveal herself as she truly is, as you help her by removing her falsely imposed conditioning. Even if she cannot ask, it is important to understand that the submissive wants to overcome her resistance as much as the dominant wants her to.

She is looking for the freedom not to have to be in charge. A woman wants a man to be strong and to protect and watch over her. She wants to be able to relax in the safety of his arms and the world he lives in and creates for her. If you can do that for a woman, you will see something inside of her blossom and grow. You will marvel at the treasure you have discovered, that has always been there inside of her, but which never felt safe to reveal, so afraid was she that it would not be appreciated as the incredible gift which it is.

The real experience, seems to me to be when the dominant and the submissive (each in his/her own way) reveal themselves to each other completely with total trust that they will be accepted for exactly who they are. We can always find people who are pretending they are someone other than themselves. The whole point of a Dominant submissive relationship is to strip away the pretense, the little secrets about ourselves that we are convinced nobody could ever care about us if they knew.

~Author Unknown~

(If you are the author, or know who the other is, please contact me

so appropriate acknowledgements can be made.)

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