Author Rover

 To begin, I see four significant dangers to online Domination and submission (D/s).  Yes, these dangers exist in real life D/s as well, but they are so prevalent online that they bear mentioning here.  But before I review these dangers, I think it’s important to understand WHY the danger exists.

All three result from one interesting psychological aspect of being online.  W/we A/all tend to believe what W/we see and read.  About the lifestyle, about individuals that W/we meet.  And frankly, that’s dangerous in and of itself.

People are drawn to the internet, and chat rooms, for a wide variety of reasons.  Some are lonely, some bored, some need and outlet for their creativity, some enjoy the fantasy of being whoever and whatever they conjure up, and some even have motives and intentions that are predatory.  Whatever their reason for being here, always remember one thing.  Y/you don’t know a thing about the person Y/you’re speaking with.  I mean Y/you don’t KNOW.  What Y/you think Y/you know is only what they care to tell Y/you.  Truth or fiction, Y/you have no way of verifying it without doing some real research.  And for that, Y/you will require their openness and honesty in sharing some vital information.

And most do not ask for that information.  W/we accept what W/we are told because it is polite.  Because W/we build some false sense of trust.  Fact of the matter is, it is precisely that trust that makes U/us vulnerable.  And so, I implore Y/you to be cynical.  To ask questions.  To ask for ways to verify what Y/you are told.  The web can be a fountain of information, and Y/you need to use it for Y/your own protection.  With names, addresses, phone numbers, etc. Y/you can verify where S/someone lives, their employment and marital status.  Their criminal record.  All things that will either confirm or dispel what is given Y/you as the “truth”.

Understanding the how and why of online deceit, and danger, may better enable Y/you to identify with the four dangers I most frequently see:

The Predator:  I suppose this is what most of Y/you can identify with.  Some crazed maniac out there hell bent on murder and mayhem.  And truth be known, people like this do exist.  W/we read about them every day.  But so many of U/us have some false sense of security that these people couldn’t fool U/us.  Fact of the matter is, they can.  They’re slick, intelligent and highly adaptable.  Keep in mind that this lifestyle, and BDSM activities, are a great place for predators to hunt.  They can identify with many of the “pleasures” of O/our lifestyle, but for entirely different reasons.  Imagine, a willing submissive anxious to be bound and gagged.  It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.  And even after the assault, try to imagine having to explain to some jury that although Y/you were a willing participant in a BDSM scene, it went too far and the beating Y/you endured was not consensual.  Thankfully, while the Predator may pose the greatest physical danger, he/she is also the least common danger in terms of sheer numbers.

The Fantasizer:  Perhaps the most common danger on the net are those that live out some fantasy life here.  And although they generally pose no physical threat, the psychological wounds can cut to the soul, and the scars may remain for a long time.  The Fantasizer creates a life, or a persona, that Y/you may find Y/yourself attracted to.  They go from room to room, changing names and persona’s along the way.  Some may have several names and personalities at one time.  The emotional damage caused by becoming attracted to a Fantasizer can be devastating.  It’s too easy to become emotionally attached on the net.  And the Fantasizer is expert at fulfilling their needs at Y/your expense.

The Teacher or Mentor:  Yes, Teachers and Mentors are a vital part of any life.  Especially so in the D/s lifestyle.  But there are those that seek to take on the role in order to have some “legitimized” reason to take advantage of Y/you, emotionally or physically.  Under the guise of teaching, they use Y/your desire to learn against Y/you.  Much like the Fantasizer, they are slick and polished.

The Ignorant:  Worst thing about the Ignorant is that they often do not realize that they are, or the damage that they cause.  It would be one thing if the advice they dispensed was to stay solely on the net.  But it seems as though, particularly amongst Dominants, there is some sense of inferiority attached to not having RL experience.  Fact of the matter is, there’s not.  But in claiming to be experienced in areas that W/we are not, and offering advice in areas in which W/we are ignorant, there will inevitably be those that will end up in emotional and physical danger for accepting it at face value.  Many on the net are here as a prelude to RL.  To get their feet wet.  And being fed bad information can put them in danger as they attempt to put that bad information in practice.

So, now that Y/you know the dangers, how might Y/you protect Y/yourself?  I would suggest the following:

• Never take anything at face value.  Separate out what Y/you KNOW from what Y/you have been TOLD.  Then, use any resource available to Y/you to confirm what Y/you have been told.

• Talk to a variety of sources.  Many people in a chat room will know who is truly knowledgeable about a particular subject.  See who’s name keeps coming up, and check speak with them.

• Visit a number of chat rooms.  Don’t limit Y/yourself to the knowledge base in one chat room.  Y/you can better rely upon the information Y/you get if it is from a variety of independent sources.

• Read.  Read a lot.  There are many good websites with respected and authoritative authors.  Most of the chat room communities have links to those sites, and a listing is also provided here under “Links to Educational Resources”.

• Ask questions, observe and use the reasoning and thinking brain that God bestowed upon Y/you.  Be cynical.

• If Y/you intend to meet S/someone RL, do so safely.  A list of suggestions is included under “Meeting Safely in RL”.

  

Rover«§»

Copyright 2001