a submissives journey

Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household

Master Fire has written an intimate and revealing look into her personal life as a Master. She has deliciously chronicled her thoughts and actions on Mastery and consensual slavery. Every aspect of slave management and life is addressed; from finances to protocols. She lists her thoughts and rationales for her actions as well as how she wants her needs and preferences addressed by those who serve her.

The book reads like a long conversation with a good friend. Each chapter reveals more meat to flesh out the author's standards of slave management. Master Fire is open and honest in her self appraisal as well as in her views of slavery and service. Her uniquely feminine spirit is present throughout the book and adds a well flavored insight into a Master's and woman's heart.

This book is a must for all connoisseurs of modern day Mastery and slavery and is destined to become a classic. This work is recommended for folks new to the lifestyle as a prototype of lifestyle development. I equally recommend this book to well established leather folk as both a reference guide and a bright mirror with which to look into our own lives.
 

I am a female-identified, female-bodied Master. I began my public involvement in the leather community in 2001 when I attended my first MAsT meeting. I was a co-founder of Female Artists of Domination (FAD), a North Carolina based group formed in the summer of 2002 to support Female Dominants.

A Deal Breaker is, basically, a relationship boundary. This means that these are things that you must have in order for the relationship to be valid and emotionally healthy for you. It’s my opinion that slaves do have the right to have boundaries. They also have the right to give up any and all boundaries. It is their choice, as it is for all of us. Only you can decide what is going to be healthy for you. The reason I feel that slaves are entitled to have boundaries is this: setting a boundary isn’t a form of topping from the bottom. In fact, when you set a boundary you are simply saying, “This is what I need. However, if this need is not met, there are consequences.” In doing this, you are allowing the other person the freedom to choose to do as they wish. You are not trying to control “their stuff”. You are stating “your stuff” and giving them the opportunity to meet, or not, your needs. Whether they do or not defines whether you remain in the relationship. This is simply you reacting to “their stuff”. You can love a person, sometimes deeply, and still realize that the relationship is toxic for you, them, or both, and choose to walk away. Many people who are involved with an addict face this dilemma. As a healthy adult, everyone, in my eyes, has the right to state what they need, then to choose their own actions based on the reaction(s) of others. For me, the deal breakers listed here are the bare bone limits that I need to be fulfilled in order to maintain an M/s relationship. Notice that three of the four in my list have, at their core, nothing to do with the M/s relationship dynamics. In actuality, if we left out the bit about obedience, these are the boundaries that I have in any relationship. There are other things that would hurt me deeply (like forgetting my birthday…really…I have issues there), but because I trust that someone would make an effort to respect my boundaries if they really were committed to me, I don’t include specific behaviors here. In actuality, once I made my unhappiness clear about someone’s behavior and they repeated the behavior, I’d probably count that under malicious conduct. Yes, I have ended relationships where the birthday issue was the last straw. When stating your boundaries, try to focus on your emotional/psychological reactions to the action of the other person, not the action of the other person itself. I had to recently reword my boundaries in order to do this, so I know it can be hard.