A submissives journey

Please, Play safe...

 Safety in scening is necessary?  Who would have thought?  Does this mean that we SHOULD portray scening safely and responsibly online as well?  Again, who would have thought?  Damn sad that it takes a tragedy to open some people's eyes...

 http://www.cnn. com/2007/ US/law/10/ 11/bondage.death.ap/ index.html

LYNN, Massachusetts (AP) -- Adrian Exley was wrapped tightly in
heavy plastic, then bound with duct tape. A leather hood was put
over his head with a thin plastic straw inserted so that he could
breathe, and he was shut up in a closet.

British tourist Adrian Exley died during a three-day bondage
session.

1 of 3 That, apparently, was the way Exley liked it. But the way
it ended -- with Exley suffocating -- was not what he had in mind
when he traveled from Britain for a bondage session with a man he
had met through a sadomasochism Web site.

Exley's body was discovered in the woods last year, two months after
he was bound up in the bondage "playroom" Gary LeBlanc had built in
the basement of his suburban Boston home.

LeBlanc, a 48-year-old Gulf Oil sales executive, detailed his
responsibility in the fatal bondage session in a five-page suicide
note, just before he put a gun to his head and killed himself.

Now the question is: Since Exley consented to the sex play, can
LeBlanc be held responsible for his death?

Exley's family is suing LeBlanc's estate for unspecified damages,
claiming wrongful death. Many bondage enthusiasts are watching the
case closely, seeing it as a lesson in where to draw the line of
responsibility on consensual but dangerous sex.

"There's definitely the whole spectrum of thought on what really
happened -- whether it was a consent issue, or negligence or
misunderstanding, " said Vivienne Kramer, a board member of the New
England Leather Alliance. "Everybody has their own ideas on what
should have happened."

Exley and LeBlanc met through an online forum for gay men into
rubber, leather and bondage. Exley, a 32-year-old stripper, used the
screen name "Studpup," while LeBlanc called himself "Rubrman" and
built a chamber with rubber mats on the floors and walls, chains,
leather restraints, rubber suits and a hospital gurney.

Exley arrived at LeBlanc's house in Lynn in April 2006 after the
pair had exchanged e-mails in which they discussed plans for LeBlanc
to play the "master" and Exley his "slave," according to the lawsuit.

John Andrews, a lawyer for LeBlanc's estate, said Exley knew the
risks going in. "What occurred was an act or actions between two
consenting adults, both of whom knew what they were doing, and it
had a tragic end," he said.

The lawsuit describes a three-day bondage and discipline session
that ended when a third man, Scott Vincent, discovered Exley was not
breathing. Exley had been put in a closet while bound in plastic up
to his neck and left alone for several hours, according to the
lawsuit.

In his suicide note, LeBlanc admitted that Exley at one point had
trouble breathing. But he said that after "cooling him down," Exley
improved. LeBlanc said that he went to sleep about 3 a.m. but was
woken up a few hours later by Vincent, who told him Exley was not
breathing and was turning blue and cold.

LeBlanc said he panicked, and he and Vincent drove to Rhode Island,
where they buried the body and threw away Exley's clothing and
identification.

The Rhode Island medical examiner determined that Exley suffocated.
Vincent said in a sworn statement that the straw had fallen out of
his mouth in the closet.

Vincent, a flight attendant who is also being sued, is charged with
failure to report a death in Rhode Island. But he has not been
charged in Massachusetts.

In his note, LeBlanc said he was "responsible for a horrible
tragedy," adding: "Had I dealt with the first crisis responsibly, he
would likely have returned home safely."

Lawyers for Exley's estate acknowledge that Exley wanted to
participate in a bondage session, but say he did not know about
LeBlanc's reputation as an "extreme edge player" in the world of
bondage and sadomasochism.

"Just because you are agreeing that you will allow someone to tie
you up temporarily as part of role-playing doesn't mean that you are
consenting to be killed or to be left alone or to be abused,"
attorney Randy Chapman said.

Several people who came forward after Exley's death told police that
LeBlanc had restrained them and left them alone for long periods, or
ignored their requests that he curtail a bondage session.

Both actions go against the bondage protocols, which say
participants must stop if their partner uses a prearranged "safe
word" or "safe signal" and must not leave anyone who is bound alone,
said Susan Wright, a spokeswoman for the National Coalition for
Sexual Freedom.

Brian Plant, a bondage and sadomasochism practitioner from Kansas,
said: "Nobody goes into these things saying, `Oh, well, I'm going to
die because of it.' You reach a point when the line is crossed, and
it is no longer consensual."

Kathy Jo Cook, a lawyer who specializes in wrongful death cases,
said that when you take away the sensational details of the Exley
case, the claim being made by Exley's estate is the same made in
many other wrongful death cases.

"The law says if a person causes the death of another person by an
act which is either negligent or reckless, that person is liable,"
Cook said. "You have a duty to behave reasonably. I think it's the
same thing here, albeit a very strange set of facts."

It was Exley's mother, Maggie Horner, who decided to sue LeBlanc's
estate.

"We decided that we didn't want Gary's last wishes being granted
when Adrian's couldn't be," she said. "Why should Gary be able to
kill my son, bury my son, shoot himself and still get his own way?"

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