A submissives journey




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Chapter 1
The Asj Community



Chapter 2
Resource Information 



Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch

Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge


Chapter 5

 The Library



Chapter 6




Chapter 7

 Useful Links




Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts



Chapter 9

 Members Only




Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index




Chapter 11
Asj's Book Store




Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List



Chapter 13
Asj slave, sub Registry







The Basic Essentials of  Proper

BDSM Play Party / Dungeon Etiquette 


EVERYONE is entitled to EQUAL and COURTEOUS TREATMENT. Be mindful of limits with respect to their Bodies, Property and Privacy.


A. Ask before touching. Do not touch another person's body, clothing or equipment without his or her specific permission.

B. Do not impose an unwelcome D/s interaction upon another person. One is entitled to act Dominant or submissive to another person ONLY after that person has agreed to it.

C. An offer to play is not an insult. If you must decline an offer to play, please do so as politely as possible.

D. NO pestering!

  • If your second offer to play with a particular person is declined, please don't make a third offer during the party.
  • If someone says to you, "Please leave me alone," treat that as a social-safeword. Do not initiate further conversation with him or her for the rest of the event.  Single people at an event are not necessarily there looking for dates or partners. They may not be attracted to your gender. Do not assume that they are. Do not act in a manner which suggests that you assume they are.

E. Respect people's privacy

  • Some guests prefer to remain deeply "in the closet" about where they live, their real names, their professions, what company they work for, etc. Please refrain from asking direct or probing questions about these areas.
  • Disclosing another person's name, address, phone number or other personal information without their specific consent is extremely serious misconduct.
  • Photographing, taping or otherwise making any record is generally discouraged and may be done only after obtaining the consent of the Party Director and the people involved.

F. NO violence, threats or challenges. Starting a fight, over-reacting to provocation, threatening another person in any way, or challenging then to a fight either at the event or "outside" is extremely serious misconduct.


A. Watch from a non-intrusive distance.

B. Keep all social and ordinary conversations to the social areas. When in the play area, voices should be kept low. Do not sit on or near play equipment unless you are using it or are about to use it.

C. Do not interrupt a scene in progress. Do not attempt to engage the participants with routine questions or conversation. Do not attempt to join or in any way participate in a scene without specific permission. Do not ask if you can join a scene - if your assistance is desired, they will ask you.

D. Do not make comments about a scene in such a way that the players can hear. This holds doubly for negative comments!

E. If you have safety issues or cencerns about a scene in progress, please communicate them immediately to the DUNGEON MASTER or to the PARTY DIRECTOR. DO NOT TRY TO HANDLE THE SITUATION YOURSELF. Remember that what looks very risky to you may be being done with an acceptable margin of safety by more experienced players.


Did you know, the Asj Community hosts ‘Dominant, submissive and BDSM Lifestyle Classes and Discussions’ here online every Sunday evening at 9:00 pm Eastern Time.  The Classes and Discussions are open to all and Free to attend.  Visit our Members Only Pages for more information, or click any of our “ask live” icons to ask for more information.




Questions about the D/s lifestyle or the Asj web site?   Click the ask live icon to chat live or leave a message with our site host.  CJ isn't always available, but generally you can find Him here from about 8:30 - 11:00 pm Eastern time. Your questions about the site, the Asj community or just about the lifestyle in general are always welcome.  If nothing else, take a moment and tell us what you think of this feature!  



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Revised: March 22, 2013