A submissives journey
What is a D/s relationship?
is short for “Dominant submissive”. The essential
elements of a Dominant submissive (D/s) relationship are that One of the participants be
Dominant, and one submissive. There are only three rules that must
be adhered to in a Dominant submissive or power exchange relationship:
relationship and activities must be physically and emotionally safe for
both Dominant and submissive. Even “edge play” must fall
within the boundaries of safety.
The relationship and activities must fall within generally accepted
norms of sanity. Anything outside those norms would ultimately
result in a lack of safety. Certainly, there are those that enjoy
“insane” activities, but they fall outside the boundaries of what is
Both Dominant and submissive must agree to each aspect of the
relationship, and the activities within it. And in order to give
consent, O/one must be fully informed of the activity, it’s potential
dangers, and give a fully informed consent.
specifics regarding the relationship are highly personal, unique and
will vary from relationship to relationship. But as a general rule
of thumb, most Dominant submissive (D/s) relationships are characterized by several elements.
the submissive determines what part of his/her life to offer as a gift
to the Dominant. The Dominant in turn accepts that gift.
There has to be a balance here, and effective communication is
essential. The gift of submission MUST be equal to that which is
accepted. If the submissive offers more than the Dominant wishes
to accept, there will be an imbalance. The submissive will have
unmet needs that the Dominant does not wish to fulfill and will
ultimately result in unhappiness for B/both. If the Dominant
accepts more than the submissive offers, there will also be unhappiness
for submission that is not offered can not be taken. The
submissive will be resentful that the effort is being made to take what
has not been offered, and the Dominant will be frustrated at not being
allowed to Dominate that part of the submissive's life.
Did you know, the Asj Community hosts ‘Dominant submissive and BDSM Lifestyle Classes and Discussions’ here online every Sunday evening at 9:00 pm Eastern Time. The Classes and Discussions are open to all and Free to attend. Visit our Members Only Pages for more information, or click any of our “Member/Visitor support” icons to ask for more information.
is an ever present theme in any kind of relationship, but is even more
essential to a D/s relationship. Y/you will see and hear of this
theme of communication throughout any discussion on D/s. And in
this instance, both the Dominant and submissive must be on the same
page, E/each understanding exactly what submission is offered and
accepted, and negotiating until that balance and understanding is
Dominant submissive relationships, but not all, also include some form of BD/SM (Bondage Discipline, Sadism & Masochism). Again, communication is
essential in determining Y/your compatibility in these activities.
There are wonderful
BDSM worksheets available online
that Y/you can exchange. Negotiate interests where necessary, but
My experience has been that Y/you should resolve to find O/one with very
similar interests from the start.
these two generalizations, a dominant submissive relationship (D/s) is whatever Y/you want it to be.
Watching, reading, learning and discovering Y/yourself and with Y/your
O/one is a wonderful experience. Enjoy it. Pick and choose
what works for Y/you, and incorporate it into Y/your lifestyle.
Remember, it is Y/your life and Y/your relationship, not A/anyone
E/else’s. Make it personal, make it unique, make it Y/yours.
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