1.
Know what you want.
A master must be able to inspire confidence in others because he
or she knows what they want, which implies that you know
yourself and have scoped out what you want your slave to be and
to do. You're going to have to share your fantasy master/slave
relationship with your prospects anyway, so this first step in
training must happen if you want to find someone to agree to
help you achieve your goals.
I wrote my expectations out, refining them over weeks and then
years until it was fairly comprehensive. Putting your fantasy on
paper will help you to know it, and share it better. Be careful,
though, since what is written will seldom, if ever, become what
is lived. It is only a tool, and has neither the power of law
nor scripture. Let it live, grow and change with you and your
understanding of what you really want.
2.
Understand the real dynamic.
Master/slave relationships are best built on principles, not
rules and regulations. Getting someone to do something, for
instance, works in the short run, getting them to obey is better
for the long term. If you pile high the rules they will stifle
both of you and be quickly discarded anyway. Well thought-out
principles, on the other hand, will stand the test of time.
Remember, too, that things are always what they appear to be.
What is he or she thinking? What is not being said? What are the
underlying issues that are affecting your relationship? When it
comes to relationships, superficiality is our worse enemy. The
real dynamic here is that this is a relationship not a scene and
if you treat it as a scene, it will be over in the morning.
3. Inspire.
Assuming that you have found the right person, which is not easy
and assumptions are dangerous, you and he or she have to agree
that what you want is what both of you want. Together you must
come to a mutually-shared vision of what it means to be a
master, a slave, and a master and slave in relationship with
each other.
It's for that reason that knowing what you want is so important,
since the vision you have you must be able to share. Slaves, of
course, have the same responsibility. Their task, really, is to
find a master who will understand their vision for life and own
it as his own as well. Returning to the idea of dynamic, each is
going to empower the other to attain their own goals.
4. Communicate
your desires.
This step covers both the grand picture and the devil that is in
the details. What does it mean to "clean the
bathroom"? How clean do you want it and what will it look like
when it is cleaned to your satisfaction? How should the slave
stand? More importantly, why does the master want the slave to
stand that way?
Share your desires from their depths. Give reasons, purposes,
and explanations to the best of your ability as to why you want
such and such done in a certain way. Let them know what you‚re
thinking, feeling, and
desiring and why this certain detail is so important. If it's
not important then get over it and let it go.
5. Teach technique.
Never let a teachable moment pass without sharing the lesson.
Remind the slave as to what is needed on his or her part. Say
helpful things like "Breathe. It'll make the pain less intense,"
or "This is the way I like my drink mixed." Unless you give
clear instructions you will never get what you want. The master
is required to communicate his or her desires. Masters who
expect their submissives to be mind readers are
asking for failure.
The master/slave relationship, like all other relationships, is a two-way street. Both of you have to find pleasure in it. Unless the slave realizes real benefits from his or her service to you, there will be no incentive to continue. Reward verbally, especially when it‚s least expected. Praise often. Use small gestures, touches, and phrases to slip in compliments and thanks often. Pat his or her ass. Tell him he's done a good job. Say you liked what you liked. Allow them their pleasures as well, be it sexual release or cuddle time or a fancy dinner out. Give to them liberally and they will return your gift with love and devotion.
7. Communicate
your feelings.
I really do have to emphasize the mind-reading problem. Not only
is it imperative to reward verbally, but it is equally necessary
to let your slave know what is wrong and what behaviors you
wished changed. Be careful not to do so in anger. Instead
establish regular times when you can both discuss the
relationship and how
each of your needs can be met. The "your" in the last sentence
is plural. Both of you have needs and all of them need to be
addressed, if not satisfied.
8. Explain when
you train.
We are dealing with humans here, folks. Though there is a
component of training that can be rote, giving reasons will both
reinforce the activity and make it more meaningful to the slave.
This step could also be written as Train holistically." Let your
training include the mind as well as the spirit and the body and
every other aspect of human life.
9. Punish when
necessary.
Punishment is never to be done for pleasure. You can take your
sadistic pleasure anytime you want. Punishment is meant to be
disincentive to repetition of the activity. Make it fit the
crime, so to speak and make it rather immediate. Once
administered let it be done, and done forever. Never punish in
anger. If you're angry, figure out why and let your anger be
channeled somewhere else in a constructive way.
10. Show and share
your pride.
Let others know how happy you are with your property. It is a
high form of praise and an excellent reward. Yes, they will
blush but will be pleased anyway. Believe me, slaves need to be
pleased. In fact without giving them their share of pleasure
there will be no slavery. Without slavery, there will be no
master.
Excellent books for Dom's,,,
MAY WE RECOMMEND