Asj Community Topics

Hello all,

   Alright being that I have a butt hole. I guess I could add my two cents to this topic. Hmmmm, I do not see a problem with poly but, only if the Dom/Me is fair and treats each sub/slave equal or at least allows each person to have space and their own things. I also think that poly's should be worked out together and not always by the Dom. The Dom should listen to each person sub/slave and then make final decidsion.  How many sub/slaves a Dom/me should have. Well I guess it depends on how much room the Dom/me has for each person. I do not think there should be more than two people to a bedroom. Otherwise there is not much room for storage. Well that is how I see this topic.  by mstigerIL89


 

but are the sub/slaves equal? maybe on the level that they are sub/slave,but what if one has more training then the other? or has been in the life style longer? or has been with the Master the longest? then should they be treated that same? plus,,you get into the topic of limits,,what is good for one might not be good for the other,,but if treated equal wouldnt they be expected to do the same things?

  as for a place for thier own thing..well what things? doesnt all of thier belongings belong to the Dom/me?

  as for just two ppl to a bed room..what if its a huge bed room? what if there is lots of closet space??

  i do agree with a Dom/me should discuss with those already in the house before deciding to bring a new one in.

                            bel_esclave_CJ

Well, I myself do not have much experience in this field, or any other for that matter lol. But I do have my thoughts on it. Yes, I do believe in poly. I do not know tons about it - but I'm learning. I believe that being poly would be very difficult. The Dom/me I think would have to be sure and be fair. Not necessarily meaning that the subs/slaves be treated as equals - but treated fairly. If the subs/slaves are at different points in their experience it would probably be impossible to be equal lol But I believe that fairness would be important. For me, if I were to join others who were poly I realize that I would probably be treated much differently because I have such little experience. But, I wouldn't want to be *picked* on so to speak. I don't know if that got my point across or not - but hopefully it did lol. I do believe that it is perfectly fine for a Dom/me to have more than one sub/slave as long as He/She could handle it. I don't believe there should be a limit either. I mean, if one Dom/me could only handle two, and another could handle twelve - then why not? lol  Mostly I believe that a lot of things are just dependent upon circumstances. I mean, if you have a one bedroom house it would not be adequate to have 10 subs/slaves lol. Every situation is different and it just depends upon what is realistic in that situation and what is not. Okay, well I probably took up plenty of space lol.

Hope to talk with E/everyone soon!!!

always,

angel

angel,

          that was a real good post and i agree with you..

              bel_esclave_CJ

thank you very much bel, coming from  you - that means a lot to me :)

angel

Very well put, sis!  I agree, the Dom/me MUST be fair to all in the poly style.  I have no experience either since I am a newbie to the lifestyle (18 months)  LOL...Master says I'm a handful a it is and to have more (like me) would kill him.  LOL!

 

--hippo

It's been quite a while since i have added to the message boards, but i have come to a place in my life where hopefully that will change....

 

Poly.... wow, what a concept.  It seems to me that poly is a different as each person is different and the only way to make it work is to bend it to your own situation.  What works well for O/one may not work at all for A/another. 

 

As long as the Dom/me keeps a close eye on the subs, it can work. While group play is fun, a sub needs some alone time with their Dom/me.  That One on one time to feel so incredibly special with your One.  As long as the Dom/me has the time to devote to all the subs, it works.

 

A Dom/me needs to keep an eye on attitudes.  As much as we hate to admit it, sometime, somewhere, somehow... jealousy will spring up out of no where.  i am not saying that raging, hair pulling, cat fight kind of jealousy... or maybe i am, lol.... but any new mother who has had a twinge while watching her husband spending time oohhing and aaawwwing over the newborn knows what i mean.  Attention that used to be hers is now being taken by the baby, HIS attention... and while we shake it off because its a father and his baby, would this be so easy to do if it were your Master/Mistress and another sub?  If not dealt with, it can lead to behaviour problems and quarreling among the subs.

 

Dividing the household chores and duties can always be tricky.  It important to keep someone from feeling like Cinderella with her step sisters.  As long as everyone works as team, and acts like a team player, it can work.

 

There are some poly groups who incorporate an alpha sub.  A sub who can help the Dom/me watch over the others, help when it is needed, guide when it is appropriate (with permission of course) and sort of be the 'second in command' if you will.  This works as long as the alpha has the attitude to keep everything in a positive light.  An alpha who begins to favor one over another, or manipulate things, will surely cause disaster.  It is also important that the alpha, while there to help the Dom/me, doesnt suddenly become in charge of the subs and begin doing the Dom/mes job.  If the Dom/me is too busy, then the Dom/me is not responsible enough for poly. 

 

i guess my question on poly is usually... why?  (those who remember me know that word comes from my lips wayyyyy too much, lol)  If it is truely to live, love, and grow as a group, than its a good thing.  If it is because the Dom/me enjoys taking on new subs with new challenges and is always looking for the next one.... well thats a bad thing.  As always, the choice should never be a selfish one.

 

Poly means group, and as a group is how it should be considered and decided.  i dont think its fair for the Dom/me to suddenly decide one day to become poly and Their sub can like it or lump it.  And vice versa, the sub shouldnt start to pressure a Dom/me to bring another into their relationship of He/She isnt comfortable with it.  There are some big issues to deal with, and it is a road you may not be able to come back once you have started to travel.  What happens if a C/couple try poly and one cant handle it?  Too jealous or whatever the reason, and suddenly their entire relationship is in danger?  And what about the 3rd party who has been brought in?  It must be agreed apon by B/both to accept this person... if one likes and one does not, it has to mutual.

 

Its a big decision, and nothing to take lightly, and nothing to jump into without much consideration by ALL parties involved.

 

just my thoughts on the issue....

wolf