Taken In Hand
The “taken in hand” relationship model is not
a widely popular choice, but it is my choice. I certainly do not claim
that it is the best type of relationship or that it’s what everyone
should do. As with other relationships it depends solely on the people
involved. It is a complex system that is not easily defined. However,
since it often needs clarifying, I use this explanatory blurb:
“It is consciously and consensually male controlled sexually exclusive
monogamous relationship in which the man’s power is real and for the
purpose of cultivating a deeply connected, fully engaged relationship.
How the man expresses his dominance is an individual matter but it’s for
the benefit of the relationship rather than being purely self-serving.
The man protects and cherishes the woman he leads. The woman responds
positively to her man’s control.”
The roles I am talking about are a dominant
male (he-wolf or alpha male) and submissive female, but of course the
roles can be reversed with a dominant female (she-bear or alpha female)
and submissive male.
I prefer a “tih” for a number of reasons, the
first of which is that it creates a male female dynamic I identify with.
It is a simple conflict resolution structure, and enhances the sexual
dynamics within the relationship.
The alpha male is the type of man who is a
fierce rival, a consistent provider, a gentle father, an attentive
lover, etc. The alpha male controls his environment the best he can, and
cares for what and whom he perceives to be his responsibility. When the
alpha male is at his angriest he doesn't shout or raise his voice, his
voice actually becomes quieter, a very deadly whisper. There's no need
for him to shout in anger because his intent gets across in his
demeanor. He's very intimidating when he wants to be with just a look or
word. Yet he's playful and gentle with those he considers his.
The alpha male is elusive and in my opinion
an endangered species. "Why" you ask? Well in the
I say all this because "tih" relationships
tend to attract alpha males. Being able to flex their masculinity freely
and with a partner willing to yield is attractive. The dance of
dominance and submission will always attract an alpha male.
A "tih" is a simple conflict resolution
structure. Since there is a dominant partner the final decisions fall to
them. They have an ultimate yea or nay power. A veto vote. Of course
this element is what is undesirable to most. People don't like the idea
that someone has ultimate say in their life. But what must be understood
it that the dominant partner must act in the best interest of the
relationship. Similar to the president, he can veto a law but if the
people he governs disagree enough with how he's leading he won't be
reelected or worse can be impeached. It's the same with "tih", if the
dominant partner acts selfishly or consistently ignores the needs of the
submissive partner that is the end of that relationship. The other safe
guard is held by the submissive partner. A willingly submissive partner
does not submit to anyone. You do not blindly relinquish certain power
to someone you don't know, or someone you know will abuse that power.
Just like you wouldn't give your power of attorney to a stranger or
cousin Jim the gambler. Yielding of will is a gift that should not be
given or received lightly.
Many "tih" couples say their fights are
almost nonexistent. They are easily ended by the dominant partner. One
couple I know used to argue about how to spend Saturday evenings. There
was always something one wanted to do the other didn't and they'd fight
and up with her mad and him gone and no one had a good time, and they'd
be in a fight till mid week. When they became a "tih" couple the
ultimate say came down to him. Sometimes they'd do what he wanted,
sometimes they'd do what she wanted and sometimes they'd do something
neither had planned. She'd of course sometimes be upset at not getting
to do what she wanted but he was fair and she would eventually have fun.
There wasn't that feeling of "I have to fight to get what I want or be
right". He'd give her what she needed and what he needed and it was
simple.
There is also a sexual element to "tih".
There is something arousing to a submissive female about the unshackled
male. There's an oddly exciting element to non sexual dominance.
Sometimes it does enter the bedroom but more often than not "tih" people
are not into S&M D/s play. In fact many S&M enthusiasts find the "tih"
concept scary. Giving ultimate power to someone outside the bedroom is
rattling. With S&M you can turn it off. Put in on and remove it like a
coat at the door. You can be totally vulnerable in the boudoir but put
up your shields everywhere else. "Tih" leaves you vulnerable.
"Tih" relationships tend to have a more
active sex life since the pace is set by the man and men tend to think
of and engage in sex more often than women. Submissive partners do have
to adjust to the frequency of sex, as well the spontaneity of it. I know
many "tih" women who say their husbands want sex at the strangest times:
after repairing something, whenever she's cooking, if she wears skirts,
after playing basketball, etc. But most of the women say that their sex
drive has increased to match their mates. There is something arousing
about him wanting you and yielding to him. For some the dominance itself
is a turn on when he is intimidating you're reminded of his manhood: if
when he kisses he pins you to a wall, or carries you off to the bedroom,
or kisses you in the middle of a disagreement.
In male dominated "tih" more often than not
the submissive female is someone who is dominant in her career or life
outside the relationship. It's an interesting set of concepts. The
wanting to release the reigns to a competent partner. Similar to
dominant female wolves who only expose their throats to their male
partners. She may be absolutely dominant in the corporate arena and
extremely content to be dominated by her mate.
"Tih" isn't for everyone. Most relationships
today are of consensual equality and few choose the imbalance of "tih"
but for those who have the desire to freely yield to or freely dominate
a worthy mate it might be for you. It is ultimate giving on both parts.
From the submissive perspective: "if you will provide for my every need,
I will give you my entirety". From the dominant perspective: "if you let
me rule you, I will be a slave to your needs".
This website is dedicated to the belief and practice of “Absolute Submission” and “Unconditional Surrender” within the “Ancient” and “Biblical” documented and practiced “Natural Order” of women consensually submitting to men.
Examples of practices of the "Natural Order" can be found in many well known scriptures such as "The Hebrew Torah", "The Talmud", "The Holy Ouran", "The Old Testament", "The New Testament", and "The Book Of Mormon", to name a few.
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This Dominant submissive/slave lifestyle website first became active on about February 1, 2002. The Asj community has been online in one form or another since approximately early 1985.
Copyright © 1998 - 2011 [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved. Revised: April 19, 2013
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