A submissives journey




Chapter 1
The Asj Community

Chapter 2
Resource Information 



Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch


Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge

Chapter 5

 The Library




Chapter 6



Chapter 7

 Useful Links




Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts



Chapter 9

 Members Only




Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index



Chapter 11
Asj's Book Store




Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List







    Thoughts on Submission


     While there is no "generic submissive", submissives seem to share

     some traits. Among them are a desire to please and the strength to

     release control to another. Some do not understand this need and

     desire and feel they are different. Some feel there is something wrong  with having these feelings. They watch others around them and  wonder why they don't seem to share or understand the desires they  feel. For some, this desire to please and release control is hidden  because feeling different is uncomfortable. If they discover that there is  a lifestyle that embraces their desires, they will find an understanding  that can soothe them. Many do not find that understanding until they  are encumbered with relationships or family. They find the  understanding of their desires, but find themselves unable to live them.  Finding that one isn't alone in feeling these desires is comforting.  Being unable to live them becomes very confining. Some find an  outlet, some do not.

     For those fortunate enough to discover that they aren't alone and have   the freedom to explore their desires, other challenges await them.  They feel they have something special to offer in a relationship, but  whom should they offer it to. Will they be safe? Who should they trust?


     Meeting other submissives with similar needs and desires creates

     another problem. They discover that others are living their desires and  dreams and the discussions between them create a deep need to  experience the same sensations that their newfound friend is enjoying.  This stage can create a frenzy so intense, that core values and  common sense are forgotten, just to feel what has been racing through  their mind. It is the most dangerous time a submissive will ever face. It  is a time for friends to step forward and offer advice and caution.


     Once a submissive has safely passed through the frenzy of discovery  and exploration, it becomes time to begin the search for a partner that  can understand their needs and desires and meet them. This is not an  easy task. There will be errors in judgment, bad decisions, and even  the possibility of mental and/or physical harm. If a submissive will take  responsibility for their own safety, the potential harm can be minimized  or eliminated. Often, this is simply a function of refusing to rush into  meetings and encounters until a level of rapport and trust has been  established. Setting forth their core values, as well as their needs,  desires, and fantasies, adds a balance to early meetings. If the values  and desires are consistent between the potential partners there is a  possibility that both will find happiness.


     Once a submissive finds a Master, a new set of challenges appears.   Both must be prepared to accept these new challenges and work  together to conquer them. They will discover that a submissive's life is  filled with questions and doubts followed by moments of crystal clarity  of purpose. The times of questions and doubts will return often, with  clarity returning as questions and doubts are resolved. A wise and  responsible Master will quickly answer questions and move to resolve  doubts. As trust builds, the times of questions and doubts will lessen  as the times of crystal clarity lengthen. There will always be questions  and doubts, but building trust through continuing openness and  communication, combined with honesty and patience, can diminish  the negative impact on the relationship. It just takes work… every  day... but for those willing to make the effort, the rewards ARE your  dreams come true.

    Michael Montgomery

    Excerpted from the book "nytewhispers", published January, 2002
    © Copyright USA. Michael Montgomery


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    Copyright © 2001 - 2011  [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved.
    Revised: June 28, 2014