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Am I being
question may have crossed your mind a time or two. Try this
Abuse Screening List. Look over the following questions. Think
about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner.
Remember, abuse doesn’t have to be physical! When one person
scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it’s
abuse! One or two checks doesn’t necessarily indicate abuse,
but might give you pause to think about working on the
Does (or has) your
_____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or
_____ Slowly isolated you from your family and
_____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
_____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
_____ Threaten to hurt your children or pet if you don’t comply
with their wants or desires?
_____ Use intimidation or
threats to gain compliance?
_____ Tell you that you are
nothing without them?
_____ Treat you roughly - grab, push
pinch, shove or hit you?
_____ Call you several times a night
or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
_____ Made you totally dependant on them economically?
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or
_____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
_____ Refusing to give you or your children medical and dental
_____ Force you to have an abortion?
Preventing you from going to church and participating in church
_____ Restrict you’re your access to the
_____ Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t
_____ Make you feel like there “is no way out” of
_____ Prevent you from doing things you
want - like spending time with your friends or family?
Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you
somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?
_____ Make you take drugs or alcohol?
And for those that
are in to the B & D and S & M of BDSM:
_____ Are hard limits ignored?
_____ Is safety ignored?
_____ Is there no effort made to resolve conflict after a
_____ Is there no aftercare given?
_____ Are you just used as a ‘object’ on which the Master takes
out their anger?
_____ Has your partner tried to force you
into sexual situations with others?
_____ Are your needs as a
The following are
Indications of MAJOR Abuse. Counseling is recommended for
anyone that can answer YES to any of the following questions.
Immediate intervention is suggested for those who answered yes
to even one of the questions that are in
_____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
_____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s
_____ Believe that you can
help your partner change if only you changed something about
_____ Try not to do
anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
_____ Feel like no matter what you do,
your partner is never happy with you?
Always do what your partner wants you to
do instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you are
afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
_____ Doubt your own judgment even in
doubt your memory of the way things happened because of what he
_____ Feel increasingly
trapped and powerless?
Have you thought of suicide?
Have you thought of murdering your partner
as a way out?
list is not comprehensive. Your particular situation may be
somewhat different. If you still feel you are being abused,
seek professional counseling. Nothing in this checklist should
be considered a substitute for counseling.
If you feel you are in an abusive
relationship, get help now!
You can take the first
step by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TDD 1-800-787-3224) or go to
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Revised: January 20, 2015