Why Being a Submissive Wife is Hot
by Julie Sibert
My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage. I stay home with
the kids and he goes out into the world and "slays dragons." (Well, he
works for the local gas and water company, but "slays dragons" sounds
more edgy, doesn't it?) We are your typical chaotic family. On any given
day, I'm breaking up sibling squabbles, staring into my pantry to see if
the "dinner fairy" has again overlooked me, and trying to tame the
calendar. Oh, I also clean up the dog poop. Besides his regular job, my
husband juggles his fair share of home responsibilities too--cars,
lawns, broken stuff, clogged pipes and precarious "about to fall" tree
limbs. In addition to all this, we care for two elderly family members.
My husband and I are Christians and therefore I believe that it is my
calling to be a "submissive" wife. So what does submission look like for
me? I am submissive in that while my husband and I openly discuss all
major decisions that impact our family, I ultimately yield to his
decisions. We agree on some things; we disagree on other things. That's
marriage, but when it comes down to deciding time, I defer to him.
Certainly submission does not mean going against what I believe is right
or moral. For example, if a husband tells his wife she should "steal,"
then she would be completely justified in not submitting to him. And
submission absolutely does not mean a woman should overlook abuse
(either of herself or her children).
But I do seek my husband's advice and opinion and defer to him on many
decisions. I believe that he is the head of the house and I respect his
leadership role. This isn't hard for me. I am fortunate to have a
husband who "loves his wife as Christ loved the church," which is part
of a verse from the Bible (Ephesians 5:21-32) that instructs husbands to
care for their wives. So, despite what many people think, submission for
me is not so hard. The life of a submissive wife is a daily reality for
many Christian couples. And I wouldn't exchange roles for anything. In
fact, our traditional roles and Christian values have led to a great sex
life.
So what does this have to do with sex?
Let me clarify that when I say "submission" in regards to sexual
intimacy, I am not talking about a wife automatically doing whatever her
husband wants sexually, especially if what he wants flies in the face of
what the Bible commands. For example, if your husband wants to have a
threesome or wants you to view pornography, this would be adulterous,
which certainly is outside the bounds of God's design for sex. If, on
the other hand, your husband simply wants to try a new position or add
some variety, I urge you to not instantly say "no" without some
legitimate discussion and prayer.
The Christian model for a marriage encourages women to be modest, but
that doesn't inhibit us from sexual expression with our husbands. In
fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, God says that husbands and wives should
not withhold their bodies from each other. Sexual intimacy is a
mutually-shared endeavor, where both the husband and wife bear
responsibility. And let's not forget, orgasms were designed by God. And
orgasms feel really, really good. Odds are that because the clitoris is
a bit less predictable than the penis, your husband is going to need
your help in understanding what it is going to take to make you climax.
This is where sexual confidence can strengthen your marriage. You both
need to learn with each other and from each other what arousal looks
like for each of you.
Because I submit to my husband, I feel confident in his care and love
and this gives me sexual confidence as well. We have a mutual sense of
safety and trust that can't help but lead to great sex. I believe God
gives good gifts to married couples to be savored and enjoyed, not
ignored and treated carelessly. My husband and I do enjoy a tremendously
satisfying sex life, because we have grown in our sexual confidence and
because we are secure in our roles for our marriage.
Another way that submissiveness outside of bed lends itself well in bed
is that my husband and I have grown in our vulnerability. Without a
doubt, because I am a submissive wife and my husband "loves me as Christ
loved the church," we have really learned to listen to each other with
respect. This equips us to be able to say what we like sexually and to
really listen to one another. We have a foundation that allows us to be
able to say when we make love, "I like it when you (fill in the blank
with random exciting sexual details)." It's so reassuring to have that
kind of vulnerability that leads to great sex!
All too often, people think that a good Christian wife isn't sexually
confident; however, following the traditional plan for marriage that God
has outlined in the Bible has given me an immense confidence not only in
bed, but in my husband's love and care for me.
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This website is dedicated to the belief and practice of “Absolute Submission” and “Unconditional Surrender” within the “Ancient” and “Biblical” documented and practiced “Natural Order” of women consensually submitting to men.
Examples of practices of the "Natural Order" can be found in many well known scriptures such as "The Hebrew Torah", "The Talmud", "The Holy Ouran", "The Old Testament", "The New Testament", and "The Book Of Mormon", to name a few.
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