Writing a Kinky Relationship into Being
Slave training, or training a submissive
online or in real time, sometimes includes written assignments.
I have had the privilege of sharing this with quite a few
dominants and other submissives. It is a worthy, well-used tool
that not only helps both parties to get to know each other, it also helps the dominant to see where the
submissive is on issues that are important, where he or she will
need to focus when it comes to training and what issues are
panic buttons for the submissive. Written assignments are also
used successfully as punishment.
We need to explore what opportunities there are in this tool. Firstly,
we look at written assignments that will help both parties get to know
each other. This does not mean that the dominant will do written
assignments too, but what he or she chooses to have the submissive do,
is a clear indication of their preferences and outlook in life. It will
also show how they manage a submissive. How? Well, if a dominant easily
gives a lot of written work and does not get back with feedback at all
or very rarely, it could mean he or she is only doing this because
others' are doing it and he or she wants to seem as if this is something
he or she is experienced at. It is also a sign of someone who is not
disciplined enough to maintain control over the submissive as it does
not take much to acknowledge an email or at least comment on it.
The type of assignments also shows the focus area. If a dominant asks a
submissive to detail their needs, wants and desires and is aware of the
difference between the three and can explain when asked about it, it
means that there is a clear focus on what this dominant might want to
include in the training and that he or she is trying to assess if
someone will fit with her or him.
A daily journal is almost always asked for. Notice what the dominant focuses on if he or she discusses the journal with you, the submissive. It will tell you a lot about that person. The journal is also not the place to dig for transgressions and then to use that as fodder for punishment.
The journal is a collection of thoughts,
emotions, feelings and events and these should help both parties
in the training process. It makes the submissive more mindful to
her or his feelings and emotions, and more aware of the effect
it has on her or his life. It helps the submissive to overcome
the barriers of complete openness that is crucial to a good D/s
relationship. Use the journal to grow and learn from mistakes
and to identify little habits that the submissive has that could
impact the communication process later on.
The submissives needs, wants, strengths, weaknesses and desires
will show the dominant where the submissive is in terms of
attitude towards service and will show the submissive's leaning
towards house chores, attending on the needs of the dominant or
sexual service or play. The dominant's response to these
assignments will show the submissive whether they agree and
whether they are in fact a good match.
When it is an online relationship, added assignments like what
the submissive ate and what they did for that day against their
list of requirements could help the dominant manage the
submissive more appropriately. In this day and age, photos of
almost anything can be taken and sent as proof of tasks that had
been completed.
One could also demand that the submissive includes an email detailing if
they had been disobedient and what the transgression was. This could be
added to an ongoing email and punishment can be added to it and
exchanged with each transgression. The punishment if it is physical can
be banked and held off on until the next time they see each other when
this document then serves as the record of what is owed. Any other
punishment can be meted out in the document, done and then sent back to
the dominant - written punishments will be sent separately and photos of
completed tasks that serve as punishments can act as the point where
forgiveness is given and the couple can move on.
Written assignments have been used extensively in the past and can be
used to control another person's life very effectively. It can also be
used to brighten someone's outlook. I have a daily email to do, even now
when we are together of 5 things I am grateful for and 5 things I did
well today. I get to count my blessings and praise my own efforts with
these assignments. It helps me grow as a person and has changed the way
I view life. I am a firm believer of this type of training and I know
that if it used well, it could others grow as much as I have.
This Dominant submissive/slave lifestyle website first became active on about February 1, 2002. The Asj community has been "online" in one form or another including bulletin boards since approximately early 1985.
Copyright © 1998 - 2012 [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved. Revised: January 11, 2013
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