Can a Dominant or Submissive be Made?
This question was posed in a comment I received. (And if you're reading this now, thank you for the post! I am not yet sure how to reply directly.)
There are certain places and times in a person's life where they must be dominant or submissive. If you answer to higher management at work, at times you must submit to their instruction, demands, etc...If you're a parent, sometimes you must take the dominant position by disciplining your child, talking with their teachers, confronting a bully. These are situational occurrences and whether you are by nature a more dominant or submissive person, you adjust because you must.
In thinking about if you could make your partner a submissive or a dominant, I would say only to an extent if they aren't by nature already showing dominant or submissive tendencies. There is role-play. If you share a healthy relationship most partners are always willing to take on a role for a night every now and again. For some, that might be enough.
The question posed to me came from someone who believes their partner could be submissive and so he is looking into D/s as a dominant. Without having been able to 'interview' either of them to gain more insight into the relationship, I would say that for him to be researching and looking into how to relate to her as a dominant to a submissive, that he already carries a dominant tendency. He's seeing to her needs and obviously to his own interests.
Those things said, I don't believe you can force a person who is not by nature, submissive or dominant to become one to meet the needs of a partner, not for more than a night of play. And, if a partner is truly submissive or truly dominant, a night of play here or there is not always going to satisfy their needs in the long run which could lead to problems if the other partner cannot deliver more than fun in the bedroom.
I would say to my poster, I applaud what you're doing for your partner. I think it's lovely. I also think you'd not be doing it if you didn't already have dominance floating through your veins so to speak. Exploring D/s can be an awesome, life-changing, experience. Go slowly, experiment, keep a journal - both of you - to keep track of what works and what does not and so in a year you can look back and see where you started and where you've moved to. Avoid domineering over dominating.
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