This story has been told over and over again by so many
different girls. The location changes, the injuries, whether
physical, psychological or financial vary, but the end result is
always the same. Read this story, pass it on to a friend.
I know, you've already said it, it would never happen to you.
But when it does, you'll remember that you read this story and
should have known better.
CJ
It was
suggested that I share this story in hopes that others can avoid
making similar mistakes, and I agreed. Although I had my first
r/t submissive experience only six months ago, I was raised in a big
city during the Sixties and consider myself experienced in life.
I've read a great deal about D/s and been part of the DSN family for
about four months, so if there is anyone who knows how to navigate a
first meeting safely, it is I.
I started talking to a certain
Dominant online several months ago, and our conversations moved to the
telephone. We talked for many hours about many things including
limits, safe words, and our mutual preference for the mental aspects
of a Dominant submissive relationship as opposed to the giving or receiving of pain. When the time
came for our first r/t meeting, I felt I knew him well and trusted
him. I did take the precaution of meeting him in a public place and
determining at the outset that nothing physical would happen during
that first meeting. However, I did not heed the advice I so often
give to newbies about setting up a safe call or letting someone know
where I would be and with whom. After all, I'm smart and savvy,
right? Wrong.
Dinner was wonderful. The conversation
was interesting and his behavior was totally in keeping with the
honest, respectful Dom I had known for months. I'm not sure how it
happened because I don't remember discussing it but I found myself
going to his apartment with him after dinner. We were just going to
talk in a private place and get to know each other better-nothing
physical he reiterated. I knew this was breaking all the safe rules,
but I felt so comfortable with him that I didn't hesitate.
I'm sure by now that you know what happened next, although it was
quite a shock to me at the time. As soon as he bolted the door, he
grabbed for me and kissed me roughly. I was surprised, but not
altogether offended. He pulled me down on the sofa and began
fondling me. I admit that it felt good but I also began hearing the
alarm bells going off inside my head. So I reminded him jokingly
about his promise to talk only. Everything happened so quickly after
that that I am not sure I can remember all the details. What I know
is that within seconds, I was on my knees, naked and with my hands
tied behind my back. If this had been a vanilla date, I certainly
would have objected long before this. However, I have been in this
position before in D/s and have enjoyed it, so I hesitated slightly.
The big difference, of course, is that not only had I not consented
beforehand, but we had agreed this would not happen. My momentary
lapse was all the time he needed.
He ordered me to go to the
bed and I again reminded him that he had promised this would not
happen. He pushed me and I fell, hitting my head, face and shoulder
on the hard tile floor. The impact stunned me, and while I was
attempting to regain my equilibrium, he lifted me up and pushed me
onto the bed.
For the next four hours, he treated me very
roughly. Although his ministrations did not include an actual
beating, he did grab and twist my flesh savagely, pulled my hair and
twisted my neck, slapped my face, and spanked me so hard it brought
tears to my eyes. When I tried using my safe word, he stopped what
he was doing for only a few minutes and then resumed. Each time I
told him he was hurting me, he refused to stop until I followed his
instructions and said, "I like it, Master." I realized that the only
way I would avoid being seriously hurt was to be compliant. I was
afraid to scream or call for help for fear that he would become
angry and hurt me more. When he finally penetrated me, I felt great
relief because it meant the "foreplay" was ended and he used a
condom. Afterward, he informed me that I was a good sub and that I
had pleased him. He allowed me to dress and leave.
Although
he also said he did not consider this an intense session, I was left
with so much soreness that it hurt to walk, sit or urinate for
several days. I also had bruises on my wrist, shoulder, both breasts
and my face. On the way home, the real fear and shame set in. Fear
because I realized what could have happened and shame because I
could have prevented it. I know better. But I broke all the rules
because I didn't think they applied to me.
I have made the
following promises to a very close Dominant friend: I will never again
agree to a first date without first informing him of the name and
phone number of my date. I will give him the time and location of
the meeting. I will set up a schedule of safe calls with him. And I
will never be alone with a date until I am positive that my safety
is not in jeopardy, certainly not at a first meeting. These are all
things I knew I should have done that night but was arrogant enough
to think I could circumvent.
Safety is paramount in any
relationship but especially in Dominant submissive (D/s)
relationship. Unfortunately, it is easy
sometimes for Doms/Dommes and subs/slaves to accept behavior in
themselves and others in this lifestyle that they would never accept
as nillas. Allowing myself to be alone with this abuser was my first
mistake and hesitating to escape before I was rendered helpless was
my second.
If sharing this very humiliating story with others
helps even one person avoid a similar experience, I will be grateful
for the opportunity.
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