Why Do Strong Women Like to Be Dominated?
by Jessica Wakeman
Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her
own house and car, and she’s not intimidated by any man for any reason.
She’s smart, independent and strong.
Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being
dominated?
Actually, researchers say, it makes perfect sense.
In perhaps the most fun assignment ever, Psychology Today‘s news editor,
Matthew Hutson, has been blogging about why strong women fantasize about
aggressive lovers. Mmm, do tell!
Way back in 1973, researcher and therapist E. Barbara Hinton interviewed
women about their fantasies and—surprise, surprise—women said they
fantasized being “forcefully taken.” She discovered women fantasize
about aggressive lovers because it makes the women feel desirable, not
because they like being physically hurt or rejected.
In recent years, University of Kansas psychologist Patricia Hawley has
picked up where Hinton left off. In April, she published a paper in the
Journal of Sex Research that studied how the genders respond to
domination fantasies. Both men and women enjoyed fantasies in which they
were dominant, but socially dominant women were actually more turned on
than anyone else by submission fantasies.
This led Hawley to probe further. The rationale, her studies seem to
indicate, is that ladies don’t enjoy the forcefulness itself as much as
the idea that an overpowering passion is bubbling over behind that
forcefulness. A socially dominant woman, in particular, was more likely
to fantasize she was sexually irresistible and was turned on by the idea
that her partner was so engorged with lust that he was going to burst.
But that’s not all—Hawley has performed yet another study on the
subject. She asked both men and women to read six different versions of
saucy vignettes so she could monitor the reactions. Five of the stories
had a different sexy theme removed each time. As Hutson at Psychology
Today‘s blog wrote:
“It turns out that force was the only element whose removal didn’t
significantly reduce the vignette’s appeal, a finding that supports
Hawley’s view that forceful submission fantasies are ‘generally
construed as an ardent, passionate pursuit rather than force per
se.’...For alpha females, apparently, submission is empowering.”
It totally makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s not the legions of women who
like to be tied up or who enjoy a swat on the ass are pain-loving
masochists—no, aggressive partners make them feel like they’re being
lusted after! Men would be wise to figure this out.
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