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Weekly Topic/Class/Discussion Notes - Sunday, June 20, 2010

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Procrastination, Goals and Tasks

 

Class log  10-26-2010

 

 [CJsHere] 9:10 pm: okay,, I've got the topic for the evening,, so let's see what we can do with it,
 [CJsHere] 9:10 pm: the essay contest is just wrapping up, and typical. I'm still getting entries in,,, about another 20 minutes of the contest left and watch and see, I'll still get another one in,,
[CJsHere] 9:11 pm: seems like lot of people like to procrastinate,,
[CJsHere] 9:11 pm: procrastination, and the D/s lifestyle? Do they go together?
[MrCAS] 9:11 pm: No
[CJsHere] 9:11 pm: anyone have any thoughts on it?
[babydoll_RB] 9:11 pm: not very well Sir
[anaka_CAS] 9:11 pm: i dunno... can i get back to you on that?
[new_seeking] 9:11 pm: roughly....yes Sir
[Sir DM] 9:12 pm: it is typical to battle it
[littlesub_ST] 9:12 pm: No Sir
[MrCAS] 9:12 pm: anaka, we are going to talk about that later
[jade_DM] 9:12 pm: do i have time for reserch
[anaka_CAS] 9:12 pm: uh oh
[CJsHere] 9:13 pm: seems to Me, first thing to think of, if you put something off, what happens when something pops up that has to take priority?
[new_seeking] 9:13 pm: lol
[babydoll_RB] 9:13 pm: it gets push back onto the back burner
[Sir DM] 9:13 pm: it get put off again and often times again till its not done
[CJsHere] 9:13 pm: Let's pick on the Dom's for a moment,, girls, how would you like it if your Dom said,,, "I'm so proud of you today,, I've got a special treat for you,, but,, remind Me later"...
[CJsHere] 9:14 pm: hmm, would kind of defeat the whole idea of the special treat wouldn't it?
[new_seeking] 9:14 pm: Yes Sir
[cricket_NF] 9:14 pm: yes Sir
[CJsHere] 9:16 pm: I know, to many, in or out of the lifestyle, it almost seems to be a natural tendency to put things off,, to avoid it to the last minute,,, then,, panic city, oh gawd,, drop everything, I've got to get it done.
[CJsHere] 9:16 pm: and yes,, it seems to Me, more girls procrastinate than those that don't,, so,, how do we solve this problem?
[CJsHere] 9:17 pm: what are steps we can use to overcome our tendency to procrastinate?
[babydoll_RB] 9:17 pm: make a list
[jade_DM] 9:17 pm: allow time for things to pop up and make a list
[CJsHere] 9:17 pm: of?
[CJsHere] 9:17 pm: a list of?
[fire_AsjFG] 9:17 pm: follow through...
[jade_DM] 9:17 pm: things to do
[new_seeking] 9:17 pm: by staying on task....and having a Dom who knows how to successfully deal with a girl who doesn't follow through promptly.
[jade_DM] 9:17 pm: time management
[CJsHere] 9:17 pm: lol. yes,, a belt or a taws might work to solve the issue, ,
[fire_AsjFG] 9:18 pm: eeeps
[jade_DM] 9:18 pm: hides in corner
[CJsHere] 9:18 pm: nods, time management, that's a good one,, start managing out time a bit better.
[singlesub1] 9:18 pm: prioritize
[CJsHere] 9:18 pm: tasks can seem like some big projects sometimes,, but elephants are big too. how do you eat an elephant?
[jade_DM] 9:19 pm: one day at a time
[jade_DM] 9:19 pm: time
[new_seeking] 9:19 pm: one bite at a time....LOL
[Sir DM] 9:19 pm: its also important for the Dom to consider everthing he expects his girl to get done so as not to over whelm her
[MrCAS] 9:19 pm: one bite at a time
[CJsHere] 9:19 pm: nods, one bite at a time,, the same way you need to approach tasks, one bite at a time so to speak,
[new_seeking] 9:19 pm: jinx Sir CAS! ;)
[CJsHere] 9:20 pm: take away to "overwhelming| aspect of the task,, try to break it down into steps, or stages,,,
[CJsHere] 9:20 pm: set some mini goals to completeing the task,,
[CJsHere] 9:21 pm: for example,, if it's a task you've got 5 days to do,, divide the steps into 5,,, then plan on doing at least one set of steps, or phase of the task each day.
[Lobby]: Abderius has entered at 9:21 pm
[new_seeking] 9:21 pm: not everyone is an organized person, so it may take B/both parties helping plan and follow through with the goal.
[CJsHere] 9:21 pm: Doms , if you've got a girl that likes to procrastinate,, then consider talking with her,
[CJsHere] 9:21 pm: break the task down into steps.
[CJsHere] 9:22 pm: consider giving her some micro-goals to achieve.
[fire_AsjFG] 9:22 pm: Communication....
[CJsHere] 9:22 pm: A, B, C, D, E need to be done,, the completion date is 5 days away,, by tomorrow, this is what you should have completed.
[CJsHere] 9:23 pm: Stop and think, how many times have you stressed yourself out needlessly because you've put off a task to the last minute,,,, what happens if at the last minute, you find the task is harder than you thought?
[new_seeking] 9:23 pm: you're screwed
[CJsHere] 9:24 pm: and then there is the scenario... what if you suddenly find out you need assistance, or a clarification from your Dom about the task,, are you really going to want to go to Him at the last minute an say help.. or would the natural tendency be to try to not let Him know you waited to the last minute?
[CJsHere] 9:25 pm: (6 minutes to deadline for contest entries)
[babydoll_RB] 9:25 pm: so true Sir
[jade_DM] 9:25 pm: agree
[new_seeking] 9:25 pm: for a lot....the latter, Sir
[CJsHere] 9:25 pm: and if you need His help, but you don't go to Him,, guess what starts to breakdown?
[CJsHere] 9:25 pm: the communication process..
[babydoll_RB] 9:25 pm: communication
[jade_DM] 9:25 pm: communication
[CJsHere] 9:27 pm: now you're avoiding communication because you are fearing either the consequences of Him saying "what are you waiting for the last minute for"..
[CJsHere] 9:27 pm: or Him knowing that you've set yourself up for failure.
[CJsHere] 9:28 pm: as long as we're talking about tasks,,
[CJsHere] 9:29 pm: can anyone give Me an idea of the steps to accomplish a task when a Dom gives it to a girl?
[CJsHere] 9:29 pm: and yes, some of these steps, may not even be realized consciously that you're doing them.
[CJsHere] 9:29 pm: but, they should be there,
[CJsHere] 9:29 pm: any ideas anyone?
[babydoll_RB] 9:29 pm: start with the one that takes the longest
[Sir DM] 9:30 pm: understanding the task
[fire_AsjFG] 9:30 pm: understand the task....completely first....
[CJsHere] 9:30 pm: even more basic than that baby,
[Jimmy13532000] 9:30 pm: clarifying the task to be done
[new_seeking] 9:30 pm: organization....listing what needs to be accomplished
[mysticlilly] 9:30 pm: make a list of tasks associated with the task
[CJsHere] 9:30 pm: understanding, clarifying, those can sometimes be interchangeable.
[mysticlilly] 9:30 pm: a kind of "to do" list
[MrCAS] 9:30 pm: Write list, give list, explain list, explain consequenses of failing to do list
[CJsHere] 9:30 pm: what about acknowledging the task? does a girl need to do that?
[jade_DM] 9:30 pm: understanding the task
[CJsHere] 9:31 pm: or does she just grunt and go about her business?
[CJsHere] 9:31 pm: listens,
[new_seeking] 9:31 pm: discuss it with her Sir?
[jade_DM] 9:31 pm: accept the task
[MrCAS] 9:31 pm: A Dom needs to acknowledge the accomplishments
[CJsHere] 9:32 pm: I would think, the first step in completing any task, is accepting or acknowledging the task,, but, with that said,
[CJsHere] 9:33 pm: I have to wonder if accepting and acknowledging are actually the same? any thoughts?
[jade_DM] 9:33 pm: i dont belive so
[CJsHere] 9:33 pm: listens,
[Lobby]: Jimmy13532000 has left at 9:33 pm
[CJsHere] 9:33 pm: care to explain jade,
[cricket_NF] 9:33 pm: no Sir, i dont believe they are
[babydoll_RB] 9:33 pm: you can acknowledge there is a task
[new_seeking] 9:34 pm: accepting means "yes"....acknowledging means...."i heard you"....it doesn't mean you said you would do the said task.
[jade_DM] 9:34 pm: acknoledging is to know of and understand ....accept is to say you will do
[singlesub1] 9:34 pm: The key is doing the task
[singlesub1] 9:34 pm: not just acknowledging it
[CJsHere] 9:34 pm: listens,
[Lobby]: valisa_V has left at 9:35 pm
[CJsHere] 9:35 pm: out of curiosity jade,, let try this scenario..... your Dom tells you He wants you to paint the Golden Gate Bridge and have it done by next Tuesday,
[jade_DM] 9:36 pm: i would say yes Daddy
[Sir DM] 9:36 pm: boy am i a jerk...lol
[MrCAS] 9:36 pm: Might be out of jail by next Tuesday...
[jade_DM] 9:36 pm: he didnt say how to do it
[Lobby]: sub4u has entered at 9:36 pm
[CJsHere] 9:36 pm: ahh, so if that's the case,, then what you are saying is, yes,, and that yes acknowledges that you've been given a task?
[sub4u] 9:36 pm: slips in quietly
[jade_DM] 9:36 pm: i could get a picture of it and paint it or draw it and paint it
[anaka_CAS] 9:36 pm: how can you accept a task that you know you can't do, jade?
[anaka_CAS] 9:37 pm: aahhh... all in the understand of what the task actually is... ;)
[anaka_CAS] 9:37 pm: understanding.
[Sir DM] 9:37 pm: clerification ia always needed
[CJsHere] 9:37 pm: smiles,, My point is made,, one thinks of a piece of drawing paper, one thinks of a two mile long bridge.
[CJsHere] 9:37 pm: now, the problem, which is it?
[jade_DM] 9:37 pm: kinda like the paddling and spanking
[new_seeking] 9:37 pm: why would anyone just say "yes" when they don't know HIS wishes clearly?
[jade_DM] 9:38 pm: interpertation
[fire_AsjFG] 9:38 pm: knowing her Dom..
[mysticlilly] 9:38 pm: wait a minute
[new_seeking] 9:38 pm: is there a problem with discussing it?
[Sir DM] 9:38 pm: yes Sir aknowledging the task followed by communication as to the specifics of the task./
[singlesub1] 9:38 pm: Maybe she's new and afraid
[jade_DM] 9:38 pm: thinks i am in for it for being smart
[CJsHere] 9:39 pm: "if" you acknowledge the task,, isn't that a bit like saying,,, "okay, you've given Me a task,, let me figure out what i'm doing or how i'm gonna do it, if i can do it, and i'll get back to you"?
[new_seeking] 9:39 pm: lilly....we're twins ;) heehee
[jade_DM] 9:39 pm: yes Sir
[jade_DM] 9:39 pm: which is not the right thing to do
[CJsHere] 9:40 pm: ie;,, girl, paint the bridge.... she responds,, oh goodie, something for me to do.
[new_seeking] 9:40 pm: but Sir CJ......there is too much "assuming" going on....should it just be pure clear communication....not guessing what "yes" means by E/either party?
[CJsHere] 9:40 pm: now,, comes the acceptance,,, before she can legitimately accept the task, meaning agrees to complete the task, she has to make sure she understands what needs to be done..
[Lobby]: MasterZata has entered at 9:40 pm
[CJsHere] 9:41 pm: ie;, ahh, yes Sir, paint the bridge,, may I ask for a clarification,, which bridge? what color?
[CJsHere] 9:42 pm: now, that sentence has acknowledge the task,, ie., hey Mr Dom, yes, I heard you...
[CJsHere] 9:43 pm: then the Dom can answer the questions, clarify what needs to be clarified,,, then, the girl can say, yes Sir,,, paint the bridge on the corner,, silver paint and have it done by morning,, will do Sir.
[CJsHere] 9:43 pm: is that making any sense?
[fire_AsjFG] 9:43 pm: yes Master
[new_seeking] 9:43 pm: yes Sir
[jade_DM] 9:44 pm: yes Sir
[babydoll_RB] 9:44 pm: Yes Sir
[CJsHere] 9:44 pm: she's now acknowledge and clarified,, now she can commit to say yes Sir,, i can do that.
[new_seeking] 9:45 pm: is the clarification involving whether or not she's capable of doing the task?
[Sir DM] 9:45 pm: yes
[CJsHere] 9:45 pm: once she's done that, now she's ready to start her plan of how she's going to accomplish her task,
[CJsHere] 9:45 pm: nods in agreement with DM
[CJsHere] 9:46 pm: if it's something she can't do, or feels she can't, then she needs to let her Dom know, Hey Boss, we got issues,
[new_seeking] 9:46 pm: Sir....not being rude here, but, some of this is just common sense.
[CJsHere] 9:46 pm: from there, guidance can be given, plans changed, alternate courses of action, etc.
[jade_DM] 9:46 pm: thinks first issue would be calling D boss
[Sir DM] 9:46 pm: common for some is not common for all
[CJsHere] 9:46 pm: nods, it is seeking,, it really is, but sometimes,, we tend to lose sight of that
[CJsHere] 9:47 pm: especially for a new girl, the Dom grunts,, all they can think of is, oh gawd,, gotta get it done,, only problem, they have no clue of what they gotta get done, or how to go about it.
[new_seeking] 9:47 pm: i guess it goes back to knowing E/each O/other too.
[Sir DM] 9:47 pm: i may not realize my girl has injured her knee
[Sir DM] 9:48 pm: and give her a task she is not able to do because of that
[CJsHere] 9:48 pm: nods, hence the "clarification stage".. Sir, I can't climb up on the trestle,, my knee is in a cast, remember?
[Sir DM] 9:48 pm: when other times it would not be an issue
[CJsHere] 9:50 pm: don't forget girls, your Dom is waiting for you to clarify any questions or doubts you have, if you don't express any, then He moves forward, confident that you are aware of what you are doing and how it's to be done.
[jade_DM] 9:50 pm: looks like it is back to communication again
[CJsHere] 9:50 pm: so don't get mad at Him when you finish painting the bridge red, cause that's what you thought He wanted,, you need to make sure of what He wants, what is expected of you, AND what the completion standards are.
[CJsHere] 9:51 pm: lol. amazing how that word, "communication" keeps popping up.
[new_seeking] 9:51 pm: it is the same in your workplace....it does no one anygood if you're pretending to understand, and aren't wise enough to ask questions.
[mysticlilly] 9:51 pm: but what happens if she begins the tasks and realizes she needs clarification? she CAN go to him for it, correct?
[CJsHere] 9:51 pm: nods, I would hope so..
[Abderius] 9:51 pm: If I may... Ive used this to test a new girl, for example, I told her to clean the pool, she jumped right up and quickly cleaned the pool. Upon finishing it, she came back informing Me of her accomplishment. I went to check My neighbors pool which obviously wasn't clean. she quickly complained "i didnt know you meant Grahams pool" My reply was simply "you never took the time to ask"
[CJsHere] 9:52 pm: I think it would be better to hear the Dom say, "why did you wait til now to ask,",, rather than hear Him say,, "girl, you really screwed that up didn't you!"
[fire_AsjFG] 9:52 pm: oopsie
[CJsHere] 9:52 pm: nods to AB
[Sir DM] 9:53 pm: especially is the Dom knows his girl has issues with asking questions or communications, it may be just a test to see how she has progressed
[CJsHere] 9:54 pm: earlier, I mentioned breaking tasks down to "mini-tasks, or goals".. everyone understand what I'm talking about with that?
[new_seeking] 9:54 pm: yes Sie
[cricket_NF] 9:54 pm: yes Sir
[new_seeking] 9:54 pm: ***Sir
[mysticlilly] 9:54 pm: yes, Sir
[jade_DM] 9:55 pm: breaking the task down to steps
[littlesub_ST] 9:55 pm: yes Sir
[fire_AsjFG] 9:55 pm: yes Master...
[Lobby]: babydoll_RB has left at 9:55 pm
[CJsHere] 9:55 pm: nods, to steps, or phases,, for example.. paint the fence,, hey, it's all the same thing,, paint a board over and over til the whole fence is done, but your goal might be to paint 50 panels of the fence each day.
[jade_DM] 9:56 pm: worries that Daddy might be getting ideas for tasks ...sigh
[CJsHere] 9:58 pm: and yes, there might be a dozen different ways to break a task down, for example, clean the house, do you do a room each day, or perhaps do all the windows today,, all the floors tomorrow,, laundry the next day, etc... pick the one that works best for you and your situation (Dom),, and dont hesitate to ask your Dom of His input or guidance as to how to best break the task down ..
[Lobby]: blondie_E has entered at 9:58 pm
[CJsHere] 9:59 pm: remember, if you've got a question in your mind about the task, how the task is to be done,, when it's to be done, the resources to be used, etc.. then open your yap! yes, your mouth can have more than a sexual purpose. :)
[CJsHere] 9:59 pm: communicate, communicate,,
[CJsHere] 9:59 pm: to do something properly, you have to know and understand what it is you are doing,
[anaka_CAS] 10:00 pm: giggles
[jade_DM] 10:00 pm: proper prior planning, precludes piss poor performance
[new_seeking] 10:00 pm: say that 3 times fast....lol
[jade_DM] 10:01 pm: not easy
[CJsHere] 10:01 pm: any questions on what we've talked about this evening? I know it may sound basic or elementary, but I guarantee you, at least a few people open their eyes a bit this evening and perhaps it helped them to see the light, and yes, many of these same steps are the Ones the Doms use in completing their tasks, lol.
[CJsHere] 10:01 pm: and that task might just be, tending to the needs of His girl.
[CJsHere] 10:02 pm: no questions? Dom's, anything you'd like to add? or comment on?
[Sir DM] 10:02 pm: use them often
[CJsHere] 10:02 pm: fire, as fg,, any comments or thoughts to share?
[fire_AsjFG] 10:02 pm: no Master... thank You...:)
[littlesub_ST] 10:03 pm: No Sir
[CJsHere] 10:03 pm: any of the girl want to add anything?
[cricket_NF] 10:03 pm: no Sir
[new_seeking] 10:03 pm: no Sir

 

 

 

 

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