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Weekly Topic/Class/Discussion Notes - Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Orgasm Denial & Control

Presented by PiercingEyes

 

Class Notes 06/02/2010

[PiercingEyes] 9:08 pm: Please feel free to ask any questions and I’ll do my best to answer them, bearing in mind I don’t know everything on the subject, as fire pointed out to me there are no wrong or silly questions :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:14 pm: so tonight I’m going to be talking about Orgasm
denial/Orgasm control :)
PiercingEyes] 9:15 pm: I have been told this subject has been discussed before so I should make this more of a revision, so here goes :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:16 pm: Orgasm denial/control is a sub division of BDSM in which a submissive is denied for a varying amount of time his or her orgasm
[PiercingEyes] 9:16 pm: like many divisions of D/s or more specifically BDSM play it is relatively a 'preference' kind of play
[PiercingEyes] 9:17 pm: meaning that it may appeal to some in here, or it may not, just like wax play/sensation play etc., etc...its all about personal preference
[PiercingEyes] 9:17 pm: so, I’m going to go through a rundown of what orgasm denial actually is :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:18 pm: orgasm control is the act through which a dominant prevents either a male or female slave from reaching orgasm through either edging or teasing
[PiercingEyes] 9:18 pm: Orgasm control can be played out in either of two ways...
[PiercingEyes] 9:19 pm: either a dominant can play with a submissive in such a way that they not be able to reach orgasm at all....or they may play with them in a manner which would very easily allow orgasm, and tell them that they must hold back
[PiercingEyes] 9:19 pm: both ways can be extremely stressful, but equally as pleasurable for the submissive :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:20 pm: Orgasm denial, as opposed to orgasm control involves very much the same kind of play, but on a much larger scale
[PiercingEyes] 9:21 pm: during this time the submissive can be teased, or they may be left unstimulated
[PiercingEyes] 9:21 pm: how is everybody keeping up? :)
[fire] 9:21 pm: is with You Sir
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:21 pm: ?loves it
[PiercingEyes] 9:21 pm: and how many coffees have we all had already? :P
[babydoll0629] 9:21 pm: :up:
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:21 pm: loves it
[PiercingEyes] 9:21 pm: excellent :)
[RB0629] 9:21 pm: Still here :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:22 pm: does anybody have any questions so far? :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:22 pm: I will move on then :)
[fire] 9:22 pm: not yet Sir
[PiercingEyes] 9:23 pm: Orgasm denial/control is widely used D/s play, and can be associated with either BDSM, or general bedroom erotica play
[PiercingEyes] 9:23 pm: it is actually on a much smaller scale the ideal way for a couple to start out in D/s as it involves no physical harm :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:24 pm: and gives the couple a chance to get closer to each other on a very erotic level
[PiercingEyes] 9:24 pm: Orgasm denial/control can be used (usually in Dungeon play) either alone, or coupled with pain to give different effects
[PiercingEyes] 9:25 pm: if used alone then the submissive is forced to endure through the teasing and be left to focus on his or her own needs and desires
[PiercingEyes] 9:26 pm: when coupled with Pain during play the pain can act as a distracion from the feelings of frustration, but quite obviously it can also cause further problems :)
[fire] 9:27 pm: can You give an example Sir?
[PiercingEyes] 9:27 pm: When coupled with pain the denial itself can be varied in levels...for example edging a slave and leaving them alone will force them to focus specifically on their frustration and desires, whereas edging a slave/submissive and then causing them pain or discomfort can take the mind away from their need, it can be very interesting to play around with different combinations for different effects.
[PiercingEyes] 9:28 pm: ha ha well I’m afraid fire that pain is not my particular field of expertise in D/s lol
[fire] 9:29 pm: not a problem Sir....You last statement was enough
[PiercingEyes] 9:29 pm: but I’m sure that for example giving a slave an ultimatum would cause one problem...
[PiercingEyes] 9:29 pm: well one example that I can think that would be useful here would be to get a slave to the brink of orgasm and then making him/her choose between continued teasing or inflicted pain
[WinterBorn] 9:30 pm: if I may put in a word about adding pain to the mix
[PiercingEyes] 9:30 pm: it would be extremely interesting to see how fast their minds could work to find the lesser of the two evils :D
[PiercingEyes] 9:30 pm: and please WB go ahead :)
[fire] 9:30 pm: isn't sure which one she would choose
[WinterBorn] 9:30 pm: there's an interesting state of mind, you do not have to be a pain puppy at all to reach it
[PiercingEyes] 9:31 pm: hm, what is this state of mind?
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:31 pm: i hate that but its good in the end
[WinterBorn] 9:31 pm: simply because of the endorphins (i.e. your body's natural painkillers) released as part of lovemaking,
[WinterBorn] 9:31 pm: well into a session, especially if the girl has had several orgasms
[PiercingEyes] 9:32 pm: ah yes I know what you mean I have a friend who is EXTREMELY into pain and she has told me a lot about that :)
[WinterBorn] 9:32 pm: it is likely that something which would normally be unpleasant will be perceived as intensely pleasurable, for instance,
[PiercingEyes] 9:32 pm: though unfortunately the endorphins released are actually a major cause of sub drop, which in itself is pretty nasty later on
[WinterBorn] 9:32 pm: pinching a nipple or something like that, this can be a good way to begin to explore
[PiercingEyes] 9:33 pm: I see what your getting at I think...
[fire] 9:33 pm: but Sir....if a girl has been refused orgasm....there is already frustration there....
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:33 pm: can i add a word
[fire] 9:33 pm: especially if You are talking for an hour....or more
[PiercingEyes] 9:33 pm: please speak up vixen :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:34 pm: the balance is in finding out how much of each you can give to make different effects, and every slave is different
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:35 pm: lol
[PiercingEyes] 9:35 pm: some can take more pain...some would prefer the
teasing...so work around it...
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:35 pm: sorry was zoning out
[PiercingEyes] 9:35 pm: erm..ok vixen haha
[PiercingEyes] 9:35 pm: do you have anything to add dear?
[fire] 9:36 pm: listens
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:36 pm: ok in the whole pain scale u have to be careful with the sub because well the pain can also be and out for something else and she may or may not tell u if it hurts to bad or not
[PiercingEyes] 9:36 pm: that’s very true hun :)
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:36 pm: it may not make sence to u but trust me it makes sence in my head and other subs i kno
[PiercingEyes] 9:36 pm: now Il get back to the orgasm denial part of things :)
[WinterBorn] 9:36 pm: excellent point vixen, I get it
[PiercingEyes] 9:37 pm: I'll move on to discuss why people practice orgasm denial/control at all
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:37 pm: lol love it
[PiercingEyes] 9:38 pm: throughout my time (which granted is not that grand :P) I have met a lot of peopl into BDSM and a lot specifically into orgasm denial :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:38 pm: and I have so far heard of four main reasons as to why people practice orgasm denial at all
[PiercingEyes] 9:39 pm: there are many many more Im sure , for example why do any of us like the things that we do? personal reasons, but as far as groupings go here are my four groups :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:39 pm: firstly and very very obviously would be the loss of control (bet you weren’t expecting that ;) )
[babydoll0629] 9:40 pm: :)
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:40 pm: :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:40 pm: the general feeling of helplessness as your orgasms are put into the hands of another excites a lot of people, it is dangerous, scary...and gets the heart pumping like anything :D
[fire] 9:40 pm: agrees
[PiercingEyes] 9:41 pm: I won’t go too far into that because frankly that is like all other aspects of BDSM....just a given to all of you
[PiercingEyes] 9:41 pm: next is for increased pleasure...
[PiercingEyes] 9:41 pm: human orgasms are a strange thing...I have no idea why they are how they are or how they are like they are....but the best way to think of them...is like a pressure cooker...
[PiercingEyes] 9:42 pm: basically your body is capeable of collecting and harvesting pleasure, the more it is denied....through edging a slaves orgasms you can build up a lot into one
[PiercingEyes] 9:42 pm: so that when the submissive/slave finally does release it is much more powerful
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:43 pm: oh yea:)
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:43 pm: shuts up now
[PiercingEyes] 9:43 pm: some actually feel that regular orgasms, after
experiencing denied orgasms arent as big a high as they once where
[PiercingEyes] 9:44 pm: I can put my experience foreward here as I actually tease myself, and a quick orgasm is no longer good enough on most occasions ha ha
[PiercingEyes] 9:44 pm: the third reason....punnishment >=D
[PiercingEyes] 9:45 pm: Im sure that it is very present in all of your minds how orgasm denial/control can be used as a form of punnishment....brought to the edge over and over, denied that initial release until you are quivering...begging ;)
[PiercingEyes] 9:45 pm: and I’m sure that the doms in the room can appreciate the advantage of this....how far is she willing to go to achieve that release...what will she give? ;)
[PiercingEyes] 9:46 pm: the fourth reason that I feel would be testing....for lack of a better word...
[PiercingEyes] 9:46 pm: my previous slave adored long term orgasm denial....
[PiercingEyes] 9:47 pm: she would like to be teased for days/weeks at a time and would want regular teasing just to mke it that bit harder....thats because she was a strong willed woman and she wanted to PROVE herself as it were...
[PiercingEyes] 9:48 pm: the idea that you can prove that you are getting better through training with your master/mistress is tempting to us all Im sure and orgasm denial gives us a way to measure that through going for longer periods....more days, more frequent teasing etc
[PiercingEyes] 9:48 pm: it gives us a way to measure how far we have come :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:48 pm: everyone still with me? :)
[WinterBorn] 9:48 pm: yep
[babydoll0629] 9:48 pm: yes Sir
[RB0629] 9:48 pm: yuppers
[PiercingEyes] 9:48 pm: excellent
[PiercingEyes] 9:48 pm: any questions?
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:49 pm: not yet
[PiercingEyes] 9:49 pm: excellent :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:49 pm: then I will move on
[PiercingEyes] 9:49 pm: orgasm denial / control can be split up into two main sub categories...
[PiercingEyes] 9:50 pm: long term and short term
[PiercingEyes] 9:50 pm: short term denial involves the teasing and edging of a slave for a matter of hours, this can but does not always involve tying and teasing
[PiercingEyes] 9:51 pm: long term on the other hand is where a submissive/slave is kept fior a set amount of days/weeks and in more extreme cases months without being allowed release
[PiercingEyes] 9:51 pm: this may or may not also include the use of a chastity device :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:51 pm: I’m guessing that we all know what a chastity device is?
[fire] 9:52 pm: yes Sir
[PiercingEyes] 9:52 pm: excellent :)
[PiercingEyes] 9:52 pm: ok I’m going to move onto the dangers of orgasm denial/control
[PiercingEyes] 9:52 pm: yes...there are some lol
[PiercingEyes] 9:53 pm: first of all I’m going to have to split this up because the dangers or orgasm denial/control are different for both men and women
[PiercingEyes] 9:53 pm: Females:
[PiercingEyes] 9:54 pm: female submissives are in no physical harm from orgasm denial, either long term or short term
[PiercingEyes] 9:54 pm: the dangers in this for females are all completely mental
[WinterBorn] 9:54 pm: errmm, if I may?
[PiercingEyes] 9:54 pm: you may....
[WinterBorn] 9:55 pm: there's at least one somewhat incidental danger, during this form of play, it's fairly easy for a girl to be in a state of arousal and pleasure, and both parties to be completely unaware that she's going to be rather intensely sore the next day...
[WinterBorn] 9:55 pm: especially with vibrating toys.....
[WinterBorn] 9:55 pm: also
[PiercingEyes] 9:56 pm: haha of course :) soreness and discomfort, but I wasn't really including those as well, frankly its hard to find an area of BDSM which does not include those :)
[WinterBorn] 9:56 pm: that could be followed up with rather enthusiastic sex and it's possible to be irritated to the point of mild bleeding
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:56 pm: may i to when WB is done
[PiercingEyes] 9:56 pm: you may vixen
[WinterBorn] 9:57 pm: true, however, in My experience it's rather easy with this, to unintentionally go beyond what was intended, as the girl can be unaware at the time
[WinterBorn] 9:57 pm: done, vixen
[PiercingEyes] 9:57 pm: haha fair enough WB then I will retract and include soreness into my rantings :)
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:57 pm: ty
[PiercingEyes] 9:57 pm: *rantings
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:58 pm: nvm
[PiercingEyes] 9:58 pm: ty dear :)
[lilvixen0521_HS] 9:58 pm: its ok ill shut up
[PiercingEyes] 9:58 pm: no please dear carry on
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:00 pm: well when i have been denied for a while exspecially with toys or w/e i have noticed it effects my insides maybe its just me but i get UTI's
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:00 pm: it could just me me
[WinterBorn] 10:01 pm: I've looked into that, I think it's not just you, a former partner had the same experience
[PiercingEyes] 10:01 pm: ah yes but that isnt merely caused by teasing or denial hun, that can be caused by any play with toys or frankly any insertion into the vagina
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:01 pm: few well i thought it was me
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:01 pm: although i have bad kidneys too so it is me also
[WinterBorn] 10:02 pm: washing toys with disinfectant before and after play is obviously a good idea, also, there are precautions if anal play is involved
[PiercingEyes] 10:02 pm: I am unsure but I suppose that the larger build up of vaginal lubricants could help more easily spread infection...
[PiercingEyes] 10:02 pm: but that is just a guess, it is not gospel :)
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:02 pm: does not use lubricants
[WinterBorn] 10:02 pm: supposedly, urinating after sex helps avoid UTIs for both sexes
[PiercingEyes] 10:02 pm: ha ha
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:02 pm: sorry ill shut up
[PiercingEyes] 10:03 pm: vaginal lubricants vixen dear :)
[PiercingEyes] 10:03 pm: the type that your body creates
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:03 pm: oo ok
[fire] 10:03 pm: whispers to vix....making sure you go pass your urine
afterwards....always is a plus....
[PiercingEyes] 10:03 pm: they will increase ten fold during teasing and edge play
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:03 pm: lol blonde moment
[PiercingEyes] 10:03 pm: erm I'm actually on overtime now so if I may finnish up the health risks?
[WinterBorn] 10:04 pm: listens
[lilvixen0521_HS] 10:04 pm: whispers lol i try but yea seriously has bad vaginal issues
[fire] 10:04 pm: yesSir
[PiercingEyes] 10:04 pm: excellent :)
[PiercingEyes] 10:04 pm: so other than what we have just covered in group discussion :P as I was saying the 'majority' of risks to a female during orgasm denial/control are mental :)
[PiercingEyes] 10:05 pm: Long periods of teasing can lead to mental strain in a female subject. Feelings of frustration can cause serious mental upset within a female submissive and so the scene is best played whilst giving her lots of attention and emotional support. Teasing and orgasm control whilst fun is best worked up to, so if any of you are into the idea of teasing/controlling your orgasms you are better off starting with short teasing sessions and working up to the longer denial periods.
[PiercingEyes] 10:05 pm: <<<swiftly copied and pasted from my notes :P
[PiercingEyes] 10:06 pm: now onto male health risks :)
[PiercingEyes] 10:06 pm: Males are at the same risks as females with orgasm control in regards to emotional stability, but they are also in a much greater medical risk. ...First of all is 'blue balls'.
[PiercingEyes] 10:06 pm: <<<listens for snickers ;)
[WinterBorn] 10:07 pm: snickers? test
[PiercingEyes] 10:07 pm: Blue balls is the comical name given to the searing pain which a male will feel in his testicles if left teased for too long without being permitted release. The effects of blue balls are evident as a swelling of the testicles and a slight change in color...i.e. the term blue balls itself. Blue balls is not a serious risk however and is cured more or less straight after the male is allowed to ejaculate, though he will still feel some tenderness.
[PiercingEyes] 10:08 pm: A more serious risk with orgasm control for the male sub in long term teasing, is the increase in the risk of testicular/prostrate cancer caused by a backing up of old sperm as new sperm is produced. This is a very serious risk for males wanting to undergo long term orgasm control for periods of days or weeks but is easily gotten around by 'prostate milking' through which the prostate is stimulated to allow the release of ejaculate without actually allowing orgasm.
[PiercingEyes] 10:09 pm: other than that Id like to say enjoy safely, and if any of you are interested in orgasm denial/control then I hope that you find it to be a lovely experience that you can share with your loved one :)

 

 

 

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