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Weekly Topic/Class/Discussion Notes - Sunday October 25, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dominant / submissive (D/s) Lifestyle Protocols

Class Notes 10/25/09

 

[CJsHere] 7:03 pm: okay,, first things first,, a couple of administrative type
notes, lol.
[CJsHere] 7:03 pm: It's getting close to that time of year, so one of the topics
we'll be discussing soon is Christmas gifts for Doms/Masters, subs/slaves..
[CJsHere] 7:04 pm: but, I always throw a catch to that,,,, I like people to come
up with and "share" their gift ideas,, and the cost of the gift is limited to NOT more than $10
[fire] 7:04 pm: collects addys to send them out
[CJsHere] 7:04 pm: a better gift is a lower cost for this purpose..
[CJsHere] 7:05 pm: next item up... yes, I have to push it,, for those that
haven't visite http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/subscribe.html I urge you to
visit,, and by visit, yes, that includes, sign up for the paid membership,,,,
as I've said, if anyone knows of someone that has a problem in doing that, don't
hesitate to let Me know.
[CJsHere] 7:06 pm: next up,, a few of you have seen some tasks handed out
recently, things related to the site, the community, etc.. anyone interested in
a task to do, check with Me,, yes, if you're collared, check with your Dom
first.
[CJsHere] 7:08 pm: next, a protocol issue,,, don't forget, when you're in chat,
regardless of what your role is,, D/s, etc.. always,, it is considered very bad
form to message someone without first asking in the room,,, Don't expect to
enter here, knowing nobody and suddenly messaging everyone and expect to get a
warm reception.
[CJsHere] 7:08 pm: and with that,, any questions on any of those issues?
[nalani_AsJ] 7:09 pm: No Master:)
[fire] 7:09 pm: no Sir
[jewels] 7:09 pm: no Sir
[] 7:09 pm: nope
[savannah] 7:09 pm: No sir
[cherryopal] 7:09 pm: yes Sir i ain't got that membership thing where u pay why
wud i need it Sir
[CJsHere] 7:10 pm: okay, one last topic,,, I know a couple of girls that are a
bit behind on some updates as to their progress with the PFP,,, so, if that's
applicable.. you need to get caught up on that,
[CJsHere] 7:11 pm: for those that don't know what the PFP is, that's My own
"weight watchers program"... and I haven't had very many girls not make some
significant progress with that,, so if weight is an issue,,, send meira a PM,
she'll fill you in on how to get started with that,,, One of our Dom's will step
in from there to "help" you with that progress..
[CJsHere] 7:11 pm: Dom's, yep, I'm looking for some more "volunteers" to help
out with that,
[meira_SV] 7:12 pm: cherryopal: this is moving to a pay site...you will need to
become a member to use the chatroom i do believe...but i think it's $2 a month
or something very low...
[] 7:12 pm: I can assist CJ
[CJsHere] 7:12 pm: and with that,, enough of the commercials, lets see if we can
get this show on the road,,
[CJsHere] 7:13 pm: don't worry, everyone has 30 days of free trial, (old members
have 60 days)
[CJsHere] 7:13 pm: hmmm,, here's a word for everyone,, Protocol..
[fire] 7:13 pm: thinks seasoned sounds better than "old"
[nalani_AsJ] 7:14 pm: haha would agree fire!!!
[ashes_SNP] 7:14 pm: laughs w/ fire
[kittykat8312] 7:14 pm: agrees with fire
[CJsHere] 7:14 pm: in the lifestyle there is a term referred to as Protocol(s),,
anyone have an idea of what that's all about?
[nalani_AsJ] 7:14 pm: raises hand oh i do:) grins:)
[] 7:14 pm: the laws of the land so to say?
[meira_SV] 7:14 pm: proper behavior, expected ways to address people
[] 7:14 pm: protocols are like rules that are to be followed
[darkorchid66] 7:14 pm: rules to follow...proper behavior
[cherryopal] 7:15 pm: rules of condust Sir
[cherryopal] 7:15 pm: conduct
[nalani_AsJ] 7:15 pm: all the above, lol
[CJsHere] 7:16 pm: rules to follow, rules of conduct,, procedures to follow, law
of the land,, all good,,
[CJsHere] 7:16 pm: In the lifestyle we've got some very distinct protocols, or
customs to follow, and I like to think that all here try to adhere to them,,,
let's talk about a few..
[CJsHere] 7:17 pm: first one, the obvious one,, respect,,,, it's a two way
street,, it's not just respect to you,, it's also your respect to others..
[darkorchid66] 7:17 pm: ok maybe cherry is the one i can't see then
[CJsHere] 7:17 pm: remember, there is a lot more to respect than just being able
to say Sir or Master..
[CJsHere] 7:18 pm: respect can convey in attitude,, paying attention when
someone's talking to you,, the way we welcome or greet others,, that's all part
of respect.
[] 7:18 pm: alot more, and on both sides of the house
[CJsHere] 7:20 pm: here in this room, I see a smattering of the words Master/Sir
Ma'am/Mistress,,,,, there really are some protocols on when and how those words
should be used,, just because someone is Dominant, doesn't mean they're a
Master,,, Also understand, for those of the Gorean persuasion, some different
protocols on this apply.. . ( http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/master.html )
will tell you a bit more about this,
[CJsHere] 7:20 pm: you'll find I tend to pass out quite a few links,, don't
hesitate to read up on some of those.
[CJsHere] 7:21 pm: speaking of links,, passing links in the main chat room is
generally considered a no no, except links here on the Asj, or IamGor sites,,
since these are still part of the same community,,
[CJsHere] 7:22 pm: speaking of posting things in the chat room,, personal
information should NOT be posted here in chat,, take that to PM, IM, or email.
personal info, such as real names, addresses, phone numbers, etc .
[CJsHere] 7:23 pm: remember, the chat logs to this room are pretty much
available to anyone, and at a minimum, I like to go back thru and review them on
occasion.
[CJsHere] 7:25 pm: about the chat rooms,,, you may have noticed, there is more
than one chat room here,,, as the chat population grows, I expect you'll see the
other rooms used more and more.. SanctuaryVidrew(Gor) is a Gor chat room,
KajiraeGardens is a Gor chat room, for slaves only,,, Dark Pleasures is a BDSM
chatroom,, not a D/s lifestyle, rather pure BDSM,,
[CJsHere] 7:25 pm: subs_n_slaves if for subs and slaves only.
[CJsHere] 7:26 pm: There is an age limit (or should I say minimum) here on the
Asj site,, yes, I barely qualify,,, it's 18 years old,, so if you come across
someone on the site that you believe is under 18, let Me know about it as quick
as you can, they will be removed. this is a legal issue, and it's not one that
is open for discussion. the site can be closed down for under 18,, so,, I adhere
to it,
[CJsHere] 7:28 pm: a protocol that applies here,, and one we often forget..
everyone here has there own way of doing things,, their own beliefs,,, they may
be perfect for them, and stink for others,,, but,, they're entitled to those
beliefs,, and they are entitled to express them or share them, no, that doesn't
mean they can ram them down your throats,, but, just as you can express your
views, they can express theirs,
[CJsHere] 7:29 pm: believe it or not, their is a hierarchy in a D/s or M/s
site,,,,
[CJsHere] 7:30 pm: that hierarchy is pretty much Doms/Masters,, Mistresses,
subs, slaves..
[CJsHere] 7:30 pm: so for example, if you're greeting people, that's the order
you'd greet people in,,
[meira_SV] 7:31 pm: not always easy to know who is a sub or slave...we don't
have anything that marks us ...
[CJsHere] 7:31 pm: girls (boi's too) that are collared should be wearing they're
collars,, this eliminates a lot of questions or issues with protocols, etc.
[nalani_AsJ] 7:32 pm: love those things called profiles, :) to read, helps
sometimes, if you dont know, look on there profile:) as well, may help :)
[CJsHere] 7:32 pm: no meira, and that's correct, and I don't have a problem with
sub/slaves being grouped together as one.
[darkorchid66] 7:32 pm: i always keep a tab oped to search so i can find out all
info
[nalani_AsJ] 7:32 pm: yep me too orchid;)
[CJsHere] 7:33 pm: If a Dominant is here and finds it necessary to "correct a
collared girl" for any reason,, it is considered required that the Dominant
initiate a contact with the girls Dominant and advise of the circumstances,
actions taken, suggested, etc.
[CJsHere] 7:35 pm: normally a Dominant would NOT discipline a collared girl,
rather He would inform the girl that He intends to notify her Dominant of her
actions/behavior.. the girls Dominant is the one that would normally initiate
any discipline,, yes, there are some exceptions to this for those of the Gorean
persuasion.
[CJsHere] 7:36 pm: some of the things I'll talk about have some different
protocols or procedures in Gor, so I won't expound on the gorean differences.
[CJsHere] 7:37 pm: entering a chat room, it's always considered good manners to
enter, say hello, then spend a brief moment figuring out what is going on in the
room, to make sure your not interrupting when you come in,,
[CJsHere] 7:37 pm: leaving, it's always considered polite to say good bye,,,,
yes, I realize, as do we all, sometimes you might find yourself bumped offline,
so not much you can do to say bye bye,
[CJsHere] 7:38 pm: collars,, a word about room collars, and protocols..
[CJsHere] 7:40 pm: normally, a room collar will NOT be given to a girl unless
she requests it,, to request a room collar, the girl needs to speak to any of
the regular Dominants that are here,, the Dominants will know how to address
that, and if they don't, then the Dominants can speak to Me about it and I'll
let them know.. No, not just any Dominant can grant a room collar, there is a
list that will be forthcoming, a few names on the list include Myself, SirGe,
PB, Taz, Apheonix,, and a few others,, so don't
[CJsHere] 7:41 pm: think there's no one around that can grant it,
[CJsHere] 7:42 pm: I also hope that within the next few days, there will be a
page or two up on the site spelling out a bit more exactly what a room collar
is, what it means, and what responsibilities the one with the collar has, as well
as the Responsibilities of the Dominants regarding that collar.
[CJsHere] 7:43 pm: pauses briefly,, any questions on any of the topics hit on so
far?
[nalani_AsJ] 7:43 pm: No Master:)
[fire] 7:43 pm: yes Sir
[CJsHere] 7:43 pm: listens,,
[fire] 7:43 pm: concerning a room collar...
[fire] 7:44 pm: doesn't matter who a girl is.....if she is real....or committed
to the lifestyle.....
[fire] 7:44 pm: I don't understand I don't thin
[fire] 7:44 pm: think
[fire] 7:44 pm: you don't have to show anything to get a room collar
[CJsHere] 7:44 pm: not sure I understand the question fire..
[fire] 7:45 pm: hmm......any newbie....can walk in and say....hey....I want a
room collar
[fire] 7:45 pm: without proving her commitment to the lifestyle...or anything???
[CJsHere] 7:45 pm: oh, you do,, as I say, the Dominants that can give that
collar will be up to speed on it soon, and I expect that a page or two will be
posted on it very soon.
[CJsHere] 7:46 pm: the answer to that fire is "yes",, but,,, caveat that, ,
there are/will be some requirements that go along with that,, and yes, it is to
the Dominants discretion granting that collar as to whether or not it is
appropriate.
[CJsHere] 7:46 pm: and no, room collars will not be made of Velcro.
[meira_SV] 7:46 pm: what is the purpose of the room collar?
[fire] 7:46 pm: ah....was wondering that Sir......
[fire] 7:46 pm: some don't understand the Velcro collar thing
[nalani_AsJ] 7:47 pm: would agree fire on that statement
[savannah] 7:47 pm: Yes please explain
[CJsHere] 7:47 pm: a room collar can fill a lot of purposes,, but, rather than
trying to go into that right now,, I'd rather stall for a day or two until I have
the pages up that discuss a room collar a bit more.
[CJsHere] 7:48 pm: for those of us that have been around the lifestyle a bit, I
think we can all agree that there is a place for a room collar, but by the same
token, if not guarded, the room collar can easily be abused and a waste of time.
[CJsHere] 7:48 pm: I think the girls here, as well as the Dominants will pretty
much agree with that,
[fire] 7:49 pm: well I can see when and where it is necessary...for a girls
protection or safety......but some just want it as a symbol is my concern
[] 7:49 pm: From what I have gleaned so far I would agree
[CJsHere] 7:49 pm: they're not going to be passed out like candy, take My word
on that,
[CJsHere] 7:51 pm: I know, that doesn't totally answer the question but,, checks
in the mail.. answer in detail will be forthcoming soon,, and no, don't try to
ask the other Dominants for their answer, cause most of them got blindsided by
this topic this evening,,
[meira_SV] 7:51 pm: grins
[fire] 7:51 pm: waits for the check
[meira_SV] 7:52 pm: laughs
[CJsHere] 7:52 pm: (I'm expecting them to all gang up on Me at some point after
the class lol.. )
[CJsHere] 7:52 pm: any other questions so far?
[nalani_AsJ] 7:52 pm: no Master :)
[CJsHere] 7:52 pm: okay, next topic, and yes, this is one we all need work on,
(yes, including Moi)...
[fire] 7:53 pm: oiy vey
[nalani_AsJ] 7:53 pm: giggles
[CJsHere] 7:53 pm: see what PB did when he left? He changed His status to
BRB,,,,,,,,, that lets anyone know in an instant that He's away from His
keyboard, or unable to respond to the room,
[CJsHere] 7:54 pm: We ALL need to work on using that,,,, if we're away, or busy,
or just can't answer,, give others a clue,, use the AWAY, BRB, or BUSY options,,
[CJsHere] 7:55 pm: I don't have a problem with those that come in and sit in the
room all day, even though they're not at the keyboard,, but at least mark
yourself as away,
CJsHere] 7:56 pm: that let's others coming in know that you probably won't
respond,, it also lets others that are here know that they might be talking to
themselves.
[CJsHere] 7:56 pm: and that's the flipside fire,,, if you come back,, change
your status,, if you're talking to someone and you see they're marked as away,
drop em a subtle hint,, change the status.
[CJsHere] 7:57 pm: and yes, I know, there are those that 'lurk",,, and will
mesage back and forth but aren't in the chat room,, lol. and again, that's fine,,
[fire] 7:57 pm: ah....well Sir....she is marked away while at
work....unpredictable....
[CJsHere] 7:57 pm: nods, and that's fine fire,
[CJsHere] 7:59 pm: I don't think I need to talk about things like upper and
lower case letters in names,, Upper Case indicates a Dominant, lower case
indicates a sub/slave.
[CJsHere] 8:00 pm: does anyone know what ASL means?
[] 8:00 pm: I got a question for you on that CJ
[fire] 8:00 pm: no Sir
[celticWarrior] 8:00 pm: age sex location
[fire] 8:00 pm: not off hand
[nalani_AsJ] 8:00 pm: never head that meaning Master
[] 8:00 pm: age sex location
[celticWarrior] 8:00 pm: Sir
[CJsHere] 8:00 pm: takes the question,,
[fire] 8:00 pm: ah...ok
[CJsHere] 8:00 pm: ASL, correct Apheonix,, age, sex and location,,,
[nalani_AsJ] 8:00 pm: ah didnt know that , thank you Ma'am Apheonix:)
[celticWarrior] 8:00 pm: i find it rather rude to use that in such a small
community chat room though Sir
[] 8:01 pm: sorry I lagged, question is about the upper and lower case
[fire] 8:01 pm: rude?
[CJsHere] 8:01 pm: generally someone will ask the question,, 'ASL",, that's
they're way of saying, hey, who is everybody,, yes, it's found more in VAnilla
chat rooms than it is D/s,,
[CJsHere] 8:01 pm: waits for Snpic question,,
[CJsHere] 8:01 pm: listens.
[] 8:01 pm: say for example I am adresing another Dom, would I call him: You or
you?
[celticWarrior] 8:02 pm: idk i wouldnt walk up to some in the real world and say
hey were are you from and how old are you
[celticWarrior] 8:02 pm: so i find odd that i would in a place like this
[fire] 8:02 pm: but you are facing them cw.....
[fire] 8:02 pm: that is different
[nalani_AsJ] 8:02 pm: well i wouldnt either celtic:) .. i know where one is
facing them:)
[nalani_AsJ] 8:03 pm: or wouldnt ask if so :) giggles..
[fire] 8:03 pm: and you might at the appropriate time ask....hey how old are
you?
[nalani_AsJ] 8:03 pm: if in front of them:) hehe,
[nalani_AsJ] 8:03 pm: true fire:)
[CJsHere] 8:03 pm: I don't think anyone is going to shoot anyone for slipping
up, but generally, anytime referring to a Dominant, such as ,, You, You're, Me,
Mine, I, His, Ours,, it's an upper case letter,,,, talking about a sub/slave,
it's a lower case letter,, her, she, i, me, my, yours, ours,, etc. but also
understand, this is pretty much unique to chat,, and some chat rooms don't use
this protocol.
[celticWarrior] 8:03 pm: idk i find it better to just start a conversation and
get the information through chatting seems more REAL some how
[celticWarrior] 8:03 pm: and its more polite
[celticWarrior] 8:04 pm: less invasive
[] 8:04 pm: k, thought so thx, wanted to make sure I wasn't being rude to other
Doms here
[fire] 8:04 pm: well I didn't mean....jump a newbie when entering the room with
that...LOL
[celticWarrior] 8:04 pm: im not just asking you HEY HOW OLD ARE YOU AND WHERE
ARE YOU!!??!
[CJsHere] 8:04 pm: back to the ASL,, yes, in a smaller chatroom, I have to
agree, if everyone knows everyone, you won't see it very often,, and you're
correct, you probably wouldn't walk up to someone and say hey, are you m/f, how
old are you,, where are you,, why? because those questions are all readily
apparent, but, online, you don't have a clue who you're talking to.. or where
they are from.
[fire] 8:05 pm: and on the other hand....are they telling you the truth to begin
with????
[celticWarrior] 8:05 pm: i never even used it in vanilla chat rooms...always
seemed stalkerish
[celticWarrior] 8:06 pm: and not always but often ones sex is appartent by the
sn
[CJsHere] 8:07 pm: again, not always, but, one last issue for it,, just
something to consider,,,,,,, it also satisfies a legal requirement,
[celticWarrior] 8:07 pm: touche Sir
[CJsHere] 8:07 pm: if I say ASL,,, and they respond with an age over 18,, then
there is no legal liability on the sites part to pursue the age any further,
[celticWarrior] 8:07 pm: the legal aspect does trumph all
[nalani_AsJ] 8:08 pm: ai, Master good point there,
[CJsHere] 8:08 pm: so, sometimes, while I don't use it very often, if there is a
new face in the room, and I'm unsure of their age,, even I may say,, asl.. or
come right out and ask an age, so please, NEVER let that offend you..
[CJsHere] 8:09 pm: the same would hold true for anyone else,, if they were
chatting with someone and they had a doubt as to the persons age,, (meaning of
legal age), they could always just say asl,, then they are protected from any
legal liability of perhaps having a conversation that was sexual in nature with
a minor..
[CJsHere] 8:10 pm: hope that makes sense, and don't want to dwell on it,
[] 8:10 pm: perfectly
[nalani_AsJ] 8:10 pm: Yes Master :) it does
[CJsHere] 8:13 pm: anyone have any questions about any protocols they've heard
of,, or how things apply here on the Asj site?
[CJsHere] 8:13 pm: (I have one more biggie to talk about in a moment)
[nalani_AsJ] 8:13 pm: no Master this girl dosent:)
[fire] 8:13 pm: no questions here
[] 8:15 pm: I got nothin :D
[CJsHere] 8:15 pm: okay, this one is pretty much a real life BSM protocol, but,
it can be directly applied here on the Asj site,,
[CJsHere] 8:17 pm: in BDSM when you go to a play party, it is considered very
impolite to drool or gawk at what a Top is doing with/to His bottom,, it's also
considered an absolute no no to in any way touch, or try to pickup or put the
moves on another Tops bottom,
[CJsHere] 8:18 pm: the same thing applies here,, Dominants aren't going to be
trying to interfere with another Dominants collar,,, that won't be tolerated..
[CJsHere] 8:18 pm: I think that pretty much speaks for itself.
[nalani_AsJ] 8:19 pm: Yes master it does:)
[CJsHere] 8:21 pm: Most of the pages, articles, topics on the Asj site refer to
subs and slaves as if they're female, and likewise refer to the Dominants as if
they are all Male..
[CJsHere] 8:22 pm: While that's done, it is accepted that not all sub/slaves are
female, nor are all Dominants Male,, but, for simplicity, generic terms are
used,, in most cases, the term sub/slave will apply equally whether the
sub/slave is female or male, just as they will apply if the Dominant is Male or
Female.
[CJsHere] 8:23 pm: No, I wil not enter the discussion of whether the role of a
male can be sub/slave,,, or whether a female can be a Dominant,, that I've found
may tend to be more of an individual belief or philosophy,,
[CJsHere] 8:24 pm: so,, for Apheonix, cw and others,, My apologies for the
stereotyping,,,,,
[CJsHere] 8:24 pm: Okay,, last topic,, and I promise it will be brief,, (or I'll
try)..
[CJsHere] 8:26 pm: There's some big changes coming here on the Asj site,,, I
know, some have been promised for quite awhile now, but they really are coming,
the site is growing, the population is growing,, but, the downside, it's being
done at a cost,, I really sincerely hope that we don't lose anyone with the
transistion to the new "paid site format".. I just can't see any other way
around it,, Yes, all the people that "have been around awhile (old timers for
fires' benefit) are being grandfathered in with a
[fire] 8:27 pm: ~seasoned~
[nalani_AsJ] 8:27 pm: laughs!
[darkorchid66] 8:28 pm: seasoned??? i am not a frech fry fire
[meira_SV] 8:28 pm: laughs
[nalani_AsJ] 8:28 pm: hahaha, !!! orchid
[darkorchid66->fire] 8:28 pm: hahahahahahahahahahahahha
[CJsHere] 8:28 pm: 60 day trial,, newcomers are getting a thirty day trial....
but, please, if you've already made up your mind to be part of the community, I
hope you'll consider subscribing as soon as possible, the site needs your
funding!. Okay, that's it,, open for comments, and I'll cut and paste the last
bit for cw's benefit,, questions, comments, ,are all welcome..
[CJsHere] 8:33 pm: okay, guess that wraps up another one, ;)
[CJsHere] 8:34 pm: girls, (You too Dominants) be thinking about the holiday gift
ideas.. remember the requirement is, under $10
[] 8:34 pm: who is it that handles the holiday gift details?
[CJsHere] 8:34 pm: there just might be a prize for the most original, most
creative,,
[CJsHere] 8:35 pm: we'll hold a topic on it between now and end of November,
[CJsHere] 8:35 pm: Sn, I believe it was your idea about the pumpkin decorating,
give that any more thought?
[] 8:36 pm: well, as suggested by You if it could be setup so the members all
get to vote on the best one, I don't know about a prize or anything, but with
such short notice perhaps just for fun?
[CJsHere] 8:37 pm: sounds good to Me,, pics can be uploaded to their
profiles,,,, then pics can be voted on by members,
[] 8:37 pm: and should there be a fair bit of interest, could do it for Xmas
trees as well
[CJsHere] 8:37 pm: since it's Your idea, I'll let you run with it , just let Me
know what you want put up on the site to support it,,
[] 8:38 pm: I am totally clueless about web site hosting/designing
[CJsHere] 8:38 pm: no problem, I can handle that, just tell Me what you want
up..
[CJsHere] 8:39 pm: and if anyone else has ideas about it, they're welcome to
share em with you.
[] 8:39 pm: I wonder, under Photos there's a section labeled Hot or Not, could
we get a section under photos for "Rate the pumpkin"?
[CJsHere] 8:40 pm: I think we could do that,,
[CJsHere] 8:40 pm: ;)
[] 8:40 pm: only this is with only 6 days of publicity, I don't know if we'll
get any bites
[CJsHere] 8:46 pm: btw, an afterthought,, if anyone wants to send Me a PM, or
leave an anonymous comment on the "feedback" section of the site, I'd enjoy
knowing if people are finding these topics helpful, too basic, too advance, not
applicable, pain in the neck, etc..

 

 

 

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