Best Anal Lube... Ever?

THIS IS SIMPLY THE BEST ANAL LUBE I HAVE EVER USED.

Since the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating, commercially available lubricants may prove extremely useful for making anal penetration more comfortable and more enjoyable experience.  While the anus may feel wet, there may only be a small amount of  natural mucus or bodily lubricants such as sweat that are present. Without the use of a supplemental lubricant, anal sex or penetration can lead to significant discomfort, irritation, or infection.

In the "non latex safe" category: Elbow Grease original, Crisco, petroleum jelly, doc johnson anal lube [warning: NOT to be confused with this product!], olive oil and other natural and mineral oils. I plan to try some vegelatum, which is the general term for the vegetable equivalent of petroleum jelly; the kind I was able to get was Alba "Un-petroleum Jelly". Although i haven't actually used the vegelatum yet, just from feeling it, I expect it to be #2 on my list, but while non-toxic and probably not as bad as petroleum products on rubber, still is not recommended with latex rubber condoms. I used to not take that 'not latex compatible' thing very seriously, until I saw petroleum jelly (and/or crisco?) rip a rubber condom in a matter of minutes. Luckily, it was on a toy.

In the "water-based" or "rubber condom safe" category: Astroglide, I.D. Glide [best vaginal lubricant I've tried so far], and other water-based lubricants intended for vaginal use; saliva (of course); You Won't Believe It's Not Boy Butter [water-based version of original/"church style"]; and I have some Sliquid Sassy Booty stuff on order, I'll report on.

So, obviously, I have experimented and tried a lot of things. If you're a beginner, you should definitely start here, and sure--try other things, but they will probably be letdowns. If you're experienced and haven't tried it, you owe it to yourself or your partner if the idea of a super-thick anal lubricant sounds good to you or him/her.

Some notes on the above: "Elbow Grease" and "Boy Butter" products seem to be, in my estimation, designed more for JO/HJ's than anal sex. If JO/HJ means nothing to you, look at the logos of BOTH these products: it's a muscular man's arm grabbing something. Obviously marketed to the gay niche, which I am not, but I figure who knows best? Well, I wasn't nearly as impressed with either as I was with Cal Exotics', but I will admit that Elbow Grease is a great JO lubricant. It's just that, considering the ingredients, I think all lubes are ridiculously overpriced. Except if you get this one from Amazon with a free Super Saver Shipping order--in which this outstanding lube becomes and outstanding deal.

Ingredients of Cal Exotic Anal Lube are not particularly impressive, but it's feeling it that is: deionized water, vegetable glycerin, propylene glycol, polysorbate-20, carbomer, triethanolamine [a.k.a. TEA, an alcohol-based pH adjuster], flavor [what?!], DMDM hydantoin, methylparaben.

Although it contains a paraben, but it is the last ingredient. Parabens kill microbes, and are derived from benzene. DMDM hydantoin is also a microbe-killing preservative, which works by releasing formaldehyde into the solution (yikes!). All water-based lubes that I know of contain some kind of preservative, and it's rather scary when you actually look at it. Supposedly, microbes are worse. Me, I'm not so sure. The expiration date on this product is several years into the future. I guess that's those preservatives at work.

While the ingredients list look rather pedestrian, and very similar to a typical thin water-based lube used for vaginal sex, obviously there is a major difference here. I guess it's the ratios which are important.

This stuff is THICK. It's without question the THICKEST LUBRICANT i've ever seen sold explicitly as a lubricant. Petroleum jelly and vegelatum are thicker yet, but not sold as lubricants, and who wants to put PJ inside (or even on) themselves or someone else? Actually, there's no question that for me and my girlfriend, Cal Exotics Anal Lube is clearly superior to petroleum jelly anyway, and this without a condom--AND the Cal Exotics stuff is condom and toy safe.

It's so thick that when you squeeze some out, you first think it's more solid than liquid when it sits on your fingers. It's transparent with virtually no odor. I just put my nose right up to an open bottle, and I can smell the vaguest candy or 'cherry' smell--I guess that's the 'flavor' ingredient, and this is not the 'cherry scented' version, which they do make (probably the same thing, just with more of the scent, which I've read is distracting). I don't recommend you go with the 'cherry' version (I guess unless you plan to do A2M), just go with this, which is basically unscented and odorless.

Back to consistency: it appears nearly solid on your finger. Turn it upside-down, and it hangs on. Rub it in-between your fingers, and it forms A PROTECTIVE FILM. You can feel real CUSIONING here. Far more than any product I've tried.

Leave a nodule of the lube on your skin--like on the back of your hand, and it won't melt and drip; it just stays there, 'almost' like a booger. A big, transparent, booger. Touch that 'booger', and it doesn't cling to your finger, but stays gripped to the surface it was put on, like it's trying to stick to itself, the opposite of being 'sticky'. That is all a good thing. Tell me of some other lube which is like this, and I'll try it. But so far, this is the only one I know of.

Like any water-based lube, your body will absorb some of the water, or it will evaporate out in air, but even when your fingers dry out , you can still clearly feel the protective, cushioning film. I guess the glycerin maintains some of that feeling of moisture, too. Leave the glob on your skin for awhile, and evaporation makes it more 'boogery' (almost bouncy), but smash it and rub, and you can feel it still works.

This lube seriously has not gotten the notoriety it deserves. I have no connections with the company, and this is the only product of theirs (I think) I've ever bought. My assumption is that they license the formula from some other company, so this is not an co-endorsement of any of the adult toys Cal Exotics makes (their primary business is toys and fetish wear, not lubes).

The main difficulty with this product is not with the lube, but with the bottle. That said, it's not as bad as some have said in other reviews. The bottle is clearly made to be able to be stored upside-down, and you should. When it's right-side up (product at the bottom), if you turn it upside-down, it just hangs there, and appears solid. But give it a few seconds, and you will s-l-o-w-l-y see it start to pour down. To expedite, swing it with your arm a few times; that works (better than banging it on the floor).

I plan to empty and wash out one of those 'hand sanitizer'/'Purel' type pump bottles and see how well that works with this stuff. I also might try to empty out my worthless Doc Johnson Anal Lube pump container, but being glorified petroleum jelly that might be a worthless cause.

That brings me to reiterating the point: this stuff is DIFFERENT than the "Anal Lube" made by the Doc Johnson brand. Get THIS, NOT the Doc Johnson/DJ stuff. The DJ stuff is basically petroleum jelly--and not very good PJ, for that matter, while the Cal Exotics stuff is just amazing--and amazingly, water-based.

I guess the most important testimonial is my girlfriend, who, after I switched to this product, said of anal sex, "It doesn't hurt anymore". This was after having anal sex with her regularly for years. I thought it didn't hurt for her before, evidenced by the fact that she'd usually orgasm during it (I'd regularly asked her about pain vs pleasure) (and yes, she is very orgasmic), but I guess now whatever she was holding back on, was not there. I didn't hold back any secrets and said it was the new lube I was using; she was doubtful, thinking I had just 'gotten better' at it or something. I don't think so. It was definitely the choice of lube.

Tips: purchase a Tantus 'Ryder' butt plug (available here at Amazon). Not cheap, not perfect, but still probably the best overall butt plug out there. Lube up 2 or 3 fingers, the opening too, push some in and/or use a Lube Shooter (available from Amazon merchants) and dilate the lubricated opening, enough to put a well-lubed Ryder in there. It's preferable to have the bottle or Lube Shooter pre-heated in a bowl of hot water. Point the BP back towards the spine or back, as that is the direction of the rectum, it's important (same deal when you're inside). Let it in there for awhile, at least a number of seconds. Now is a good time to lube (yourself) up. Take the butt plug out and immediately push yourself in, before the opening has a chance to close (or close tightly). Having a washcloth or small towel nearby to lay it on/wrap in in, and wipe your hands, is handy. This can work to get you inside even nearly flaccid, if condom-free is safe. Start slowly at first while the lube forms its film. Add more to yourself a bit later (can be tricky with the bottle, hence the Purel pump idea). Enjoy. My girlfriend has found that me giving her two goes with an anal douche (also available thru Amazon) afterwards with hot water helps prevent what she thinks is cramping and diarrhea from (I assume the salt in) semen. I'm more worried about long-term effects of ingredients in lubes, but that helps flush those out, too. Both parties should urinate afterwards to discourage UTI's (good advice with any form of sex). A quality probiotic like Garden of Life HSO taken that night can also help nix any problems the next day.

I really also recommend you stay away from lubes containing desensitizing or painkilling ingredients (such as benzocaine or menthol/mint oils). If something is being hurt, your body should know about it. Not feeling it doesn't mean it's not being hurt. Like my girlfriend has shown, it is possible to have anal sex without pain, even if she still can enjoy it with some level of discomfort like she did before this.

Anal sex is Anal sex is one of the things she swore she'd never enjoy, but now does. Unfortunately, a lot of women try it the first time with an insensitive jerk, or someone who just doesn't know what they're doing, and they decide they don't like it, or more accurately that they can't enjoy it. The more positive the first experience can be, the more likely it'll happen futurely. I recommend, if you have time in the relationship, building up with anal play, and associating unthreatening exterior and slight interior anal stimulation, with 'regular' sexual pleasure.

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