The internet has opened up a medium by which millions of
people now communicate, keep in contact, establish friendships and
even romance.
For BDSM or D/s (Dominant submissive) it's no different. People who were never able
to experience it before can now become that person they've wondered
about within as soon as they open a browser and log on. Thousands of
people are now exploring what was once considered to be a text book
mental health problem. The question is, if you are not able to
establish your D/s in real time for the mean time or at all, how do
you keep it alive and healthy in a long distance v/t setting?
You may find it surprising, if you've never experienced D/s in
a long distance relationship, how deeply you can go. The mind is
where it all begins and the mind can take you as far as you want to
go.
I would suggest setting up some ritual behaviors. Ritual acts
are probably my very favorite thing in D/s beside the feeling of
giving my control to another person. Ritual acts establish a
connection between submissive and dominant that even in the midst of
discipline or chaos can keep a submissive grounded, and a dominant
too! They also put and keep me, personally, in a very submissive
frame of mind, while in the presence or not, of my dominant.
Start with a greeting ritual. You can do this any way you
please. You choose to have him/her silent until you give them leave
to speak. You might have him/her kneeling to your left or right. She
or he might kiss your knee, your foot, your hand, whatever place the
dominant chooses. Decide on some form of initial hello and always
keep that in place no matter what else may be going on.
If you go to chat rooms, same applies, always have a greeting
established, something unique that allows your submissive to revel
in the fact that they submit to you and no other.
There are many ways to establish rituals between yourselves,
you only need to think about what would work for you personally.
Will you call and put her to bed each night? Will she write in a
journal every evening for you to read the next morning? Will you
discuss her clothing for the next day, will you discuss her meals?
It's up to you and how much you want from your relationship.
(This is assuming you are exploring more than kinky bedroom
excitement.)
It's great to read about D/s, to get a feel for the outline of
what can be done or how, but I definitely encourage all dominants
and submissives who are new to the experience to go with your gut.
Explore, indulge your fantasies online, you'll be amazed at what you
decide you could do or could not do in r/t. Approach v/t as if it is
r/t. Make it real. It doesn't have to be a hindrance but a stepping
stone.
Be honest. For the love of it all - Be Honest.
Don't pretend interest in something you know you'd never do in
r/t.
Don't pretend to submit.
Don't pretend to dominate.
Don't hold back.
Don't be afraid!
Trust each other, give your trust and make yourself
trustworthy.
Don't exploit this rare and wonderful thing you have going.
Talk.
Talk.
Talk.
Don't claim expertise to something you've never touched in
r/t. It's GREAT to roleplay it out in v/t - but when it comes time
to move into r/t - you'd better be prepared and you better have
taken the time and responsibility to be as learned as you can about
any particular play you decide to do. (And, I'll be writing more
about those things later.)
Don't be afraid to question other submissives and dominants.
They're not all great, they're not all real, they're not all honest,
but keep asking questions any way. It's a great way to expand your
knowledge of self and D/s. You can learn a lot about who you are,
who you'd like to be and who you'd never be.
Don't ever let the ego of v/t get you in over your head.
Doing it the hard way (Long Distance)
This website is dedicated to the belief and practice of “Absolute Submission” and “Unconditional Surrender” within the “Ancient” and “Biblical” documented and practiced “Natural Order” of women consensually submitting to men. /span>
Examples of practices of the "Natural Order" can be found in many well known scriptures such as "The Hebrew Torah", "The Talmud", "The Holy Ouran", "The Old Testament", "The New Testament", and "The Book Of Mormon", to name a few.
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This Dominant submissive/slave lifestyle website first became active on about February 1, 2002. The Asj community has been online in one form or another since approximately early 1985.
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