Experiencing Subspace and Sub-drop Safely
by Cheryl Williams
If you are in a dominant/submissive relationship, there is a likelihood that at some point you may encounter subspace as well as sub-drop. Both are terms that are common yet misunderstood. Subspace refers to the place a submissive can soar to when she is in the middle of a scene with her dominant. Sub-drop refers to the coming down from sub-drop. Both can affect a submissive emotionally, mentally and physically.
Subspace can come about from a session in which there is a lot of
physical pain involved. It can also come about when there is intense
pleasure involved. Subspace can also result from a deeply emotional
moment resulting from unresolved feelings that may spring forth in the
middle of a BDSM scene.
When a submissive enters subspace, there is a feeling of soaring. It
could very well be compared to an out of body experience. She does not
usually feel her physical body at this point. What she feels is entirely
emotional and spiritual. She feels detached from reality. Changes in the
body occur during subspace. A submissive may have a drop in blood
pressure. Her breathing will become shallow. It is almost like a
semi-conscious state. The soaring can last for several minutes, and then
comes what is referred to as sub-drop.
Sub-drop is when a submissive begins to enter back into a fully
conscious state of mind after being in subspace. This can be very
difficult on a submissive...emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Reality can seem harsh after being in subspace, and a submissive has a
longing to remain in subspace where she is soaring without a care. When
a submissive enters into sub-drop, there can be an almost violent
reaction. She may sob uncontrollably. She may physically fight the
feeling that comes over her. Her heart rate will spike back up. She may
hyperventilate. Her blood pressure will rise.
It is the responsibility of the dominant to make sure that the
submissive returns gently from subspace. This can be done by
holding the submissive closely, gently stoking her, whispering to her
that she is safe, loved and that He is not going to leave her.
This transition is extremely important on both an emotional as well as a
physical level. It is not safe for someone's blood pressure and heart
rate to spike and drop quickly within a short period of time. It is also
important that the submissive feel safe when she comes back down from
subspace.
Casey's first experience with subspace was very scary to her. She had
not anticipated it and did not know what was happened to her. At first
it was beautiful as she soared outside of herself. But when she came
down, it was quick and her reaction was extreme. She began sobbing
uncontrollably. She jumped up and ran into the bathroom and locked
herself in there. Her dominant was caught totally unaware by what was
happening. He had no experience with dealing with subspace or sub-drop,
so he was unsure as to what to do. When he got the bathroom door open,
he found Casey on the bathroom floor. She was mumbling incoherently,
sobbing and hyperventilating. It was a very scary experience for both of
them. Fortunately, the outcome was good. His instincts took over and he
sat on the floor and cradled her softly until she was okay.
If you are in a BDSM relationship, be prepared to experience subspace
and sub-drop. Not every submissive will experience it, but some will. If
you are a dominant it is your job to be prepared just in case it
happens. It can be a very beautiful experience to share together if
you are prepared.
This article is posted with permission of the author. Watch for Cheryl's new novel soon to be published, The novel deals with teenage girls, body image and self esteem. You can also find other articles by Cheryl here on the Asj website, check our index page.
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