A submissives journey - Control

Your Responsibilities as a Submissive

  

Never expect to have your Dominant live your life for you. Keep up with your own personal self-growth, a Dominant should not have to tell you how to grow, but be a guide on your journey. You are ultimately in charge of taking the right path. If you do not live with your Dominant, don't expect him to know when your bills are due, pay the rent, or solve your drippy faucet problem. (Your Dominant will admire that you took care of it so responsibly!) Take care of your health. A Dominant expects a healthy submissive, one who cares about her body and mind. (No, this does not mean you have to be perfect, but you should be fit.) Don't be afraid to let your Dominant know when you are having a bad day. It's normal and happens to everyone. You should never have to worry that he will not understand, but neither should you make him into your own personal counselor. Listen to your gut. Most times, we avoid doing this as usually we are hearing something we would rather not believe, but putting off facing the truth, will only make for a longer, harder road to walk. If you don't feel comfortable talking with your Dominant or a trustworthy friend, keep a journal. Track your own feelings and growth. Stagnancy is a killer. Never forget that as you serve your Dominant, you should also feel just as special and treasured in return. D/s is a two way street, you should be getting back as much as your are putting forth. If this is not the case, do not be afraid to journey alone for a time. Submission is not made or broken by having a Dominant. Be responsible for your own personal happiness. While our Dominants fulfill all those long unaddressed needs within ourselves to release control, serve to make another happy with our deeds, it does not mean we can stop looking inside, or that happiness is a given. We all make our own happiness, we shouldn't rely on any other to make it for us. If you are unhappy with yourself, there is really no way you will make a pleasing submissive, for any Dominant worth his salt will recognize it within you. While he can point you in the right direction and accompany you on the road to growth, at the end of the day, you are still in command of your ability to be happy or unhappy. It may not be an easy journey to find happiness, but the end result will always make the effort to grow and evolve a wonderful one.

  

   .  

Related Dominant submissive Lifestyle  Reading - Introduction to submission

 

The Surrendered Wife

by Laura Doyle

According to Doyle, the wife who chooses to surrender must learn to take care of herself first, overcome the desire to have more power, and abandon the myth of equality. Delving into the personal tales and sisterly advice shared within each chapter's pages, surrendering wives will further note the need to master unsavory phrases like "I can't," and "Whatever you think"--tough to swallow for a generation of women who value their own opinions. While she fully acknowledges that a few bills will go unpaid and a few deadlines or freeway exits will occasionally be missed, she also insists that surrendered wives will encounter less worry and fear, more money, and better sex. Hey, "Whatever you think...."

If you are married and are tired of giving your husband endless lists of things to do (which aren't getting done) and are tired of having arguments because you feel you are doing way too much while your husband is sitting around watching TV, this book is definitely for you.

Contrary to what some people think, this book is not about being a doormat. It is about getting what you want out of a relationship and working on yourself in ways that will inadvertently motivate your husband to be a better man.

The title of this book is going to put people off, especially people of my generation, GenXers, who grew up thinking that women should be independent in everything and to show vulnerability is to show weakness. What you will find, and maybe even admit, from reading this book, is that what really makes you happy in life and marriage is not what you always thought it was. For some women, what they have been told is proper to want from a relationship is sometimes very different from what makes them truly happy.

The author comes right out and says that the surrendering idea should not be tried by anyone in a relationship with physical abuse or where children are being abused, or if the spouse has an addiction like drugs or alcohol. Surrendering is only supposed to be practiced in a marriage that is already loving. For some people, these practices will provide greater intimacy.

The thesis of this book is that the only person you can change is yourself. By working to be the best person you can be, you will motivate your spouse to also be a better person. You have to trust that the person you married is a good person who wants to be better too. He just may not know it yet. You be the example, your husband will follow. I personally would have laughed at this book 10 years ago. I think to apply these principals you have to have a high level of maturity and self assurance.

Some things that may surprise you about the author: She works, she has no children, she does not refer to the Bible in her book, and she calls herself a feminist.  

 

 Contracts - Related Keywords for Searching

 

KeKeywords: A submissives journey, Asj, bdsm, dominant, submissive, submission, master, slave, dominant, domination, submissive, Mistress, DOM, Domme, trust, relationship, control, training, D/s, honor, spanking, orgasm control, sub, gorean, surrender, sub, dom, chat, chat room.