Testing pain tolerance (BDSM)

It pays to know how to safely find out what your--or your sub's--pain tolerance is before you attempt raising it. Taking time to learn about a person's pain threshold or tolerance reduces the risk of unexpected emotional outburst and accidental physical injury. It also pays to remember that not everyone plays with a lover or 'partner'. So when playing with new or unknown submissives or bottoms this exercise is one good way to establish trust and reach a better understanding of the body in your Dominant care. When testing pain tolerance, try to utilize a "thuddy" but strong flogger or multi-stranded whip. Instruct the sub/bottom to the nature of the exercise and gain her informed consent. Instruct her to count out loud from one to 5. Explain that you will be applying pain as *she* directs. For example: Submissive: "One. Thank you, Sir!" Dominant: <stroke/WHACK> Submissive: "Two. Thank you, Sir!" Dominant: <Stroke/WHACK> ... and so on. Beginning slowly, apply five very soft strokes while she counts. Check in with her after each set of 5. Ask questions about her emotions, physical soreness, any unexpected internal effects, ability to continue, etc. If she is going well, apply 5 a little stronger and so on, each set of 5 a little stronger than the last. You continue to increase the severity of the pain being applied until you have together reached a point within a set of five where she can no longer tolerate the pain. Complete the intolerable set of 5 and then end the exercise. You should/will know on completion of this exercise, what level of pain she enjoys, what level of pain she endures, and where her true pain threshold limit is. You will know this by watching her breathing, watching her body's reactions; and as she becomes more aware of each stroke's force she is better able to discern its effects and relate them to you as you go. After each set of 5 she is answering your questions on how and what the pain feels like, how she is coping with it, etc. You will get a full picture--sight, sound, feel and verbal, and reap the benefits of the combined use of your 5 senses rather than just a single dimensional view. Note: finishing the intolerable set of 5 strokes is important for closure, closure without guilt and is always something a submissive is pre-informed will happen. Guilt reactions, however irrational, occur and can be emotionally disabling for a submissive. Awareness of the requirement to complete is applied trust, and means that you, as a Dominant, give her no surprises. Many submissives feel bad if they think that they cannot 'take it', or think they are somehow less 'pleasing' and might try to endure more than they really can. Finishing the last 5, regardless of her fear or reactions to the pain, allows for an ongoing feeling of accomplishment after the end of the exercise rather than being left with a feeling of failure or guilt. These things are subjective, and remember: everyone is different.

 

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