So You Want to be an Owner:
The Realities
As a real life owner of slaves, and based on an
article "So you want to be a slave" by miria hunter, I’ve decided to
take a stab at the other side. So You Want to be an Owner. I speak
from my own perspective, and my own experiences. Your mileage may
vary. I think, however, that there are quite a few areas from my
experiences that will overlap in yours.
The fantasy of having someone at your beck and call, someone to
order about at your whim, someone who will serve you sexually
non-stop, is a fun one. The realities of being an Owner are
rewarding, and they can be fun, but it is also a lot of work.
Carefully consider before you leap.
Are you prepared to make sure this person is cared for? Are you
willing to take the time, and spend the money, to get them included
in your will? How about the legal paperwork to have yourself
declared a health care agent for them, so that if anything should
happen you can make decisions for their well being? The paperwork so
that you can take care of their financial concerns should something
happen? What about their retirement fund? If they’re going to be
your live-in slave without an outside source of income, what sort of
money are you putting into a retirement fund for them? Health
insurance? Bored already? Then being an Owner isn’t for you.
Do you want to order your slave to wear a special uniform? Perhaps
you enjoy a formal maid’s outfit. Be prepared to shell out the bucks
if you want them to be in your home all the time. Remember, they
don’t have an outside source of income. If they do have a job, the
reality is, they need to hold down this job. If you want them to
have this income, it becomes your job to make sure they are
available to work the job. This includes making sure the tasks you
have assigned are not such a burden that they cannot perform well on
their job. Suddenly, with this option, they aren’t really available
to you at any time. But it’s practical for financial reasons, and
often for the outside stimulation the slave may need to keep them
emotionally healthy.
Do you have the patience when your slave makes mistakes? Making
mistakes is a part of life. It shows the slave is trying. Or,
sometimes, it shows the slave is testing. Do you have the insight to
know which is which? Do you have the patience to be consistent? A
slave thrives on consistency. If doing X got a finger shake last
time, and you said "next time you’ll get a spanking," and X happens
again, the spanking must commence. Owners don’t threaten. They do.
Do you have the self-awareness to know when the slave is doing X
just to get that very reaction out of you? Can you determine when
you’re being "played?" And how are you going to handle it? Important
to know, because how you handle it will either maintain, or crack,
the power structure. In my opinion, once damaged, it is almost
impossible to re-establish a power structure within a relationship.
Can you stay calm enough to discuss problems without getting
emotional? You’re in charge. You have to be able to tell the slave
what’s wrong, and what steps are going to be taken to correct the
problem. You also have to be centered enough to deliver unhappy news
without getting overly emotional yourself. Your slave has been
looking forward to event Y, and for whatever reason, that’s not
going to happen. Ok, you’re human, and you may have guilt. But it
doesn’t change the fact event Y won’t happen. It’s your job to tell
the slave. Don’t leave them guessing. And don’t let it go unsaid.
You have to give the bad news.
Do you like to make the decisions? How many of them? How independent
do you want your slave to be? Just independent enough to do the
grocery shopping? Independent enough to rearrange furniture? What’s
expected, what’s forbidden, and if you don’t know how should your
slave know? Taking care of your errands requires that your slave has
money. Access to your money is a vulnerable thing. How much do you
trust them? How valuable are you willing to allow them to be? They
cannot be valuable to you if you do all the critical things
yourself. Part of allowing them to be valuable is giving them room
to HELP you. That means choosing what you’re going to let go of.
That also means when they need a time-critical answer, you give it
to them. You don’t have permission to be upset if something goes
undone and you never made a decision. Remember, you’re the one who
established they needed to ask you in the first place.
Slaves are super-eager to please. Can you tell when your slave is
getting sick? Maybe even before they realize? Can you tell when they
should be sent to bed early? It is the slave’s job to come to you
with such things, yes. But often, if you’re watching, you can tell
before they have even pinpointed what is wrong. Just as observation
is a critical skill for them, so is it a critical skill for you.
Are you willing to take the steps necessary to make your slave more
valuable? Figure out what will make that slave more valuable to you,
then make it happen. Even if this means telling the slave "find out
when the next class on creative writing is, and sign yourself up."
Be prepared to pay for, or strongly subsidize, those skills that
will make your slave more valuable to your household. Yet, at the
end of their time with you, they walk away with those skills. Are
you noticing that this isn’t all fun?
Take the time to tell the slave when they’ve done well. You don’t
have to compliment them on the dishes every day. But once in a
while, noticing that the kitchen is well kept would be nice. You
also have to take the time to tell the slave when they’ve done
poorly. You need to be able to explain it clearly, with specific
examples. "You didn’t clean well enough" is not appropriate. "I
expect the computer monitors to be cleaned once a week," is. Because
you were raised to wash the windows once a quarter doesn’t mean your
slave was. If you expect it, say so. Then it becomes their job to
keep track of when it’s due.
Owning a slave is rewarding. You get to help guide them. You get to
have a clean house, errands that are run, and your time is freed up
in so many ways for the other things in life. That’s great. I’m
confident you’ve already thought of all the bonuses. This is an
effort to offer up a viewpoint of the daily realities. The biggest
reason an Owner/slave relationship ends is because it turns into
equal/equal. If that happens, and suddenly your slave is more your
romantic partner than your slave, the best thing you can do is to
acknowledge it. Decide what needs to change for this new exciting
phase of your relationship.
Can you say no? If you begin to feel beholden to your slave, then
the slave is in charge. There is no leeway here. If your slave wants
a huge play scene (and slaves always do, and twice on Wednesday
thank you) and you do it because you "should," you’ve done a world
of damage. Providing for the slave’s "needs" is a must. It’s up to
them to determine what they can, and cannot, live without. That’s
not your job. Your job is being HONEST about what you can, and
can’t, provide. Are you willing to watch a slave leave your
household because they feel "Z" is a need, and you’re unwilling to
provide "Z?" Or are you going to try to convince yourself maybe you
really want Z? The instant you let yourself become beholden to a
slave, the power structure is altered. You need to steer clear of
the emotional games so many relationships include. You need to be
clear with yourself, and your slave, what you are willing and
unwilling to provide. Everyone deserves to make an informed
decision. This includes your slave. And, painfully, very few things
last forever. This means you get to be supportive, and gracious,
when a slave has outgrown what you have to offer. Can you be that in
the midst of the parting of the ways? Because no matter how
amicable, goodbyes hurt. Or do you need to twist the knife and try
to play the guilt game because they’re no longer getting their needs
met with you?
And one last thought…
The person in the relationship who holds the power…is the person who
has the least to lose. Follow that to the logical conclusion, and
this is the person who can walk away if the relationship is no
longer emotionally healthy for everyone involved.
Is that you?
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