A submissives journey

an Asj online community

HPD and the lifestyle

"Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood.

The essential feature of histrionic personality disorder is an excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others."

Hmm, does this sound like anyone you may know in the lifestyle? Of course it does, this is easily the most prevalent personality disorder in the lifestyle, it seems at times the lifestyle is where all the people suffering from this come. And online has an even higher incidence of this, we call them "drama queens".

There are other anti-social personality disorders, but this one seems to be out there in a major way, we have to learn to recognize these people and deal with them.

Symptoms include:

* Act or look overly seductive
Really, would we know anyone who would do this?
* Believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
* Blame failure or disappointment on others
* Constantly seek reassurance or approval
* Easily influenced by other people
* Have a low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification
Know anyone who can't pay their bills, but always has the money to buy new toys, or go to the dungeon party?
* Need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness)
OK, we all know people who fit this one...
* Overly concerned with their looks
* Overly dramatic and emotional
* Overly sensitive to criticism or disapproval
* Quickly change emotions, which may seem shallow to others

OK, so now we know who some of the drama queens are, what can we do about them? Step 1, ignore their outbursts, they do it for attention, positive or negative, it feeds them, and you make them worse by feeding into their drama, step away. Let others know what you suspect, if the attention dries up, the drama queen will go elsewhere. Give them a short quick response, nothing emotional, do not buy into their drama, there will always be some crises or another in their life.

Yeah, I know it's hard, I suffer from white knight syndrome myself, wanting to ride to the rescue and save the world, but some of them cannot be saved, they have to want to be saved, and they have to want to work to save themselves. Trust me, I know, stepping away is a hard thing to do, ignoring them when they IM you with all the drama is a hard thing to do, especially when it turns to insults because "You don't care! You never cared!".