I've got the power... or do I?
Sometimes D/s is a bit of an enigma and this is never more
true then in the often misunderstood concept of who has the
power and what does that mean. The conventional way of
explaining it goes something like this, the submissive in
the relationship gives up all her power to her Dominant who
then takes that power to do anything he wants and she goes
along. Unless she does not like where it is going then she
can revoke her all important consent there by trumping him.
So then looking in on this
scenario people think it is all a game, not real, after all
she has the "real" power. Sounds simple enough, it's a
game, move on. There is I think one small glitch to this
view which no one ever seems to consider and it is this - as
the Dominant and after all just another human being, don't I
also have the option at any time to withdraw my consent. I
mean just because you have been kind enough to consent to
submit to me doesn't me that I am now bound by some law to
actually Dominate you. I have to agree and we call that
agreement consent. So you have to consent, I have to
consent then we have a Dominant submissive relationship.
Neither the Dominant's nor the submissive's consent is any
more or less important in this equation.
Therefore, no the submissive does not have the "ultimate power"
to withdraw
consent we both do. We have a word for this too, the
word is equal. Having the same quantity, measure, or
value as another from the Latin aequalis meaning level.
From this point of being level, of being equal, of
having the same power we can both choose to have a
relationship based on ideas of one being Dominate and
owning the other who is submissive. We can choose to
have rules and to live in a way that is not the same for
both of us in terms of amount or status because it makes
us happy, because it fulfills a need we both have.
consent we both do. We have a word for this too, the
word is equal. Having the same quantity, measure, or
value as another from the Latin aequalis meaning level.
From this point of being level, of being equal, of
having the same power we can both choose to have a
relationship based on ideas of one being Dominate and
owning the other who is submissive. We can choose to
have rules and to live in a way that is not the same for
both of us in terms of amount or status because it makes
us happy, because it fulfills a need we both have.
I scoff at the very notion that any submissive is weak
and most be sold on the idea of giving up her power.
That some how getting some one to submit requires a
trick and that you must tread carefully or loose the all
important consent. Just as I laugh at the idea that all
men even all Dominate ones want to dominate every one
and everything. It is a choice for both of us all the
time, the power to say no is the same for both us, as is
the all important power to say yes.
At yes it begins and at yes, it is very real.
Especially of interest to Dominant's
Excellent books for Dominant's,,,
