Anyone who is involved in BDSM will tell you that sometimes the activities can be quite physical. Some couples are involved in the lighter forms of BDSM, whereas other couples are involved in the more extreme cases. Safety must always be considered in these activities, and in the case of a dominant or submissive who is disabled, certain considerations must be taken.

Whether you are a dominant or a submissive, respect for your partner is essential. You must always consider your partner's state of well-being both physically as well as mentally. If your partner is suffering from any kind of disability, you must take this into account when engaging in any activity.

If your submissive has problems with her knees, having her kneel for long periods of time is damaging to her. If she has back problems, you must always keep in mind the situations you place her in. A good dominant will never do anything to harm his submissive.

If your dominant suffers from a disability, you must accept the boundaries this may place upon the activities that you engage in. He may not be able to do things that other dominants are able to do. If he has back problems, he may not be able to stand for long periods of time. He may not be able to be as physically demanding as he might be without his disability.

Another point to consider is in regard to bondage. Bondage is an activity which requires a couple to always operate within certain safety perimeters. When one person has a disability, safety becomes even more important.

If a submissive has a disability, the use of safe words becomes even more essential. If something becomes too painful in any way, she can rely on her safe word as a means of letting her dominant know the scene needs to stop immediately. The dominant should respect this and end it right away.

If a dominant is disabled, he must take great care when he is restraining his submissive. The story of Sarah and Master Jay is a perfect illustration of a bondage scene gone wrong.  Master Jay had developed a sudden back problem which greatly inhibited his normal activities. He would only be able to walk a few feet before his legs would go numb and actually give out on him. Still, he was determined not to let this affect his BDSM activities with his submissive Sarah.

One day, during a session, Master Jay restrained Sarah by placing her in a chair and handcuffing her hands behind the chair. He also got duct tape and wrapped it around her arms and feet, blindfolding her. He went about the business of lightly flogging her, moving on to more intense flogging.

Whereas this scene was very typical of their relationship, it was something they had not done since his back injury. While Sarah was bound, Master Jay went into the next room to get her a drink of water. On the way, his legs went numb and he fell, hitting his head. He went unconscious. As a result, Sarah was trapped, bound in the chair, unable to get free...and Master Jay was lying on the floor, unconscious. Several hours passed before he regained consciousness. He was able to stand and walk into the other room, and remove Sarah's restraints. By this time, she was hysterical...but physically fine.

This was a wake-up call for Sarah and Master Jay. They realized that they would have to start taking his disability into consideration when planning activities. They also accepted the fact that they would not be able to engage in some of the activities that they did before his injury.

Dealing with disabilities within a BDSM relationship is essential. Do not try and pretend the disability does not exist. You can still enjoy each other if you modify your activities in accordance with your disability.