BDSM - General Legal Issues

CIVIL LEGAL ISSUES AND BDSM

Those of us who practice or explore alternative lifestyles including aspects of BDSM must be concerned and aware of how we can be affected by both criminal as well as civil legal issues. In both areas we must concern ourselves not only with the law as it generally is applied, but being realistic we must accept that the law is often applied differently to those who are considered out of the mainstream. For example, no one can argue that in numerous cases, sodomy statutes have been used to prosecute homosexual couples while identical behavior is practiced with impunity between vanilla/heterosexual partners. Likewise, many gay or lesbian partners have to contend with family or estate law issues being utilized to "punish" choice of lifestyle or orientation. This site will explore therefore not only what the laws may be in various areas, but also try to focus on some issues and areas where application of the law may be selective or skewed.  In these pages we will try to address some of the various non criminal issues that may confront those of us in BDSM, power exchange or other alternative life styles.

ISSUES AFFECTING UNMARRIED LIFESTYLE COUPLES

Probably more so than in the vanilla world we see bdsm couples cohabiting without the legal sanction of matrimony. That is often confusing enough, but the unique characteristics of the master/slave relationship create the potential for even more chaos. Has there been planning by such couples for a split-up? Probably not. What about a long term illness? Death? Do we want our life partner to inherit? Do we have a marriage in addition to the bdsm relationship? These can become critical questions, which if not properly addressed, result in unpleasant or even devastating consequences. While all states have legal frameworks for dealing with the dissolution of a marital relationship, very few have specific laws dealing with the break-up of a non-marital relationship. The closest thing that is found in most states come from general partnership laws. These are oriented toward business or investment arrangements and are not well suited to the ending of a deeply personal relationship. Anyone wishing to assert or enforce rights arising from the break-up of a couple that has cohabited without being married will find themselves dealing with a quagmire of miscellaneous legal issues. A little bit of advance planning can be invaluable. The problem with this approach is the same as confronts vanilla people about to get married who want to have a prenuptial agreement. This flies directly in the face of what we are attempting. A slave is supposed to be pledging her/himself to the master/mistress forever. As difficult as it may seem though, there must be a moment, an hour, a day of vanilla approach, a deep breath taken and reality confronted. Yes we want this to be permanent, but let's face it folks, SHIT HAPPENS! Acknowledge that we are human - that we get sick, that we die, that we move on, and accept that when any of those unpleasant things might happen, things will be a lot easier if the problem has been anticipated and dealt with ahead of time. A section, in outline form has been devoted to these issues. While certainly not exhaustive - it should hopefully give at least an idea of the things that we need to be thinking about, and some general direction on how to get there.

ISSUES AFFECTING MARRIED LIFESTYLE COUPLES

While many of the problems confronting unmarried couples are more easily addressed in the context of a marriage, married couples have their own set of problems and issues relating to an alternative lifestyle. In many cases one spouse may not be interested in, or even be aware of the other's alternative lifestyle preferences. The presence of children may further complicate matters. A short section has been presented to briefly address marital and family issues as they relate to or are affected by alternative lifestyles. Once again, please understand that laws, especially in the realm of domestic law, vary substantially from state to state - this material is intended to guide you - not take the place of competent advice to be received from an attorney in your own jurisdiction.

CIVIL LIABILITY ISSUES

Finally an area of the law that practitioners of the bdsm lifestyle should be at least fleetingly familiar with, is that of general civil liability. One thing that we often fail to consider when we engage in bdsm activity is the responsibility we assume and the potential legal liability that flows with it. How much damage and therefore liability can you have for leaving someone tied up a tad longer than they wanted to be? Probably not much. On the other hand, how much liability do you think you might have if the fifty pound snap links that you used because they were cheap break when your submissive is suspended inverted and ends up as a quadriplegic? Probably substantially more! Few practitioners of our lifestyle have given these issues much thought. The section on general civil liability explores these ideas a little more, and again, hopefully causes you to pause and think about some of the things that we do.

NOTE:  As with so many things in the BDSM Lifestyle, things may be unique to you, your situation or the area in which you are practicing BDSM.  Information provided in this section is general in nature and may not specifically apply to your situation.  Should you have doubts, concerns or questions, we urge you to take the time to consult a licensed attorney.  You may find that many attorneys will offer to provide you with an initial consultation at no cost to you. Attorney’s are bound to a client attorney confidence.  Don’t hesitate to be open and honest with your attorney.