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A submissives journey - Balancing Depression and submission
Balancing Depression and submission
Everyone has gone though bouts of depression at one time or another. For some, it’s practically debilitating and others can handle it in stride without much of a bat of the eyelashes. I recently recovered from a long time depression with the help of medications and my Dominant’s caring. It’s never an easy process, but being reminded that your submission is still desired can help.
When I was depressed, I didn’t find joy in doing the things I normally did for my Dominant. It was hard getting up everyday to make his coffee and care for him as usual. Some days he allowed me to ‘sit this one out’, but usually he just took me under his patient wing and nudged me back into submitting to him.
Finding your way back out of the darkness isn’t always easy. There are a lot of inner thoughts telling you to stay there, in the void of no comfort, dark peace and sadness. I’ve been there too many times to count. It is possible though to continue your submission at some degree and still be depressed. It may even be your window out.
Keep the Routine
The last thing you want to do is keep a routine going when you feel like your world is at an impasse, but I highly recommend trying to keep your daily routine intact as much as possible. Reminding yourself that this is the way you were happy and will continue to be happy might just resolve some of those depressive feelings. Even when I was depressed, I still made his coffee and cooked his meals (although less fancy). I still called him by his title and followed most of my rules. He did relax a few of them but reminded me that if I continued to do them that he would be pleased.
Get Out of Bed
Feeling bad for yourself always displays outwardly as not getting out of bed, not bathing or not bathing frequently and a lack of self-care for how you look. Force yourself to continue to take care of your body even if you don’t feel like it. Dressing how you feel doesn’t encourage a change in your mood, but drives you deeper. Falling into the comfort of your bed and not getting moving within a decent time can worsen your depression. Your dominant is still looking to you to be a companion and one they want to be around. Remember the saying that a submissive is a reflection on the dominant? Keep the illusion up even if you feel horrible inside. Your dominant will thank you for it.
Ask for Help
Wallowing in your sadness is okay for awhile. No one can go through life without feeling depression for a short time, but know that you should ask for help if it gets to the point that you don’t have any good feelings anymore. Going to friends to talk if you don’t think professional help is necessary is a good first step. Let them help you revive the happiness that is in there. If you notice your friends trying to get you out of the house and moving again, listen to them. They can see your changes and are worried about you.
Get professional help if your depression lasts longer than 2 weeks.
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Related Dominant submissive Lifestyle Book or Reading - Depression
Self-Coaching: The Powerful Program to Beat Anxiety and Depression, 2nd Edition, Completely Revised and Updated [Paperback]
by Joseph J. Luciania
Cognitive behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts and our interpretations of events greatly influence our moods. Therapists teach clients to listen to their negative internal dialogs and to use less depressive "self-talk." Clients may also be given "homework" in the form of relaxation exercises for anxiety or gradual acclimatization to frightening situations. The emphasis is on changing thoughts and actions, not on understanding their origins. Getting Your Life Back and Self-Coaching are both based on this approach. The latter, by clinical psychologist Luciani, advises readers to identify themselves as specific personality types (e.g., "Worrywarts," "Hedgehogs," "Perfectionists") and then gives specific instructions on how to change these thought patterns. The title by Wright and Basco, a psychiatrist/educator and a clinical psychologist/researcher, respectively, examines various psychological areas (e.g., thinking, action, biology, relationships, and spirituality) and invites readers to work on these areas in any order with valuable, morale-boosting checklists and examples. Getting Your Life Back is the better of the two because it discusses antidepressants and because the authors' instructions and exercises are much more thorough.
This book is fantastic, not just for anxiety and depression, but for issues of self-esteem, shyness, excessive introversion, anger, perfectionism, etc. I am exploring all these things in therapy and with medication, but felt that there was something more, some common thread, common cause...and the author has found it.
This book really helps you get to the root problem that all these have in common. Deep-seated insecurity and lack of trust in oneself to handle what life throws at you. Hard to admit, but it is the beginning of healing. The author shows how this insecurity (what he calls the Insecure Child), tries to maintain control of oneself and the outside world through immature coping strategies learned in, and repeated since childhood.
If you are a self-help junkie like me who has read countless books, but the result has only been "understanding" your issues better, but never overcoming them, I urge you to give these techniques a try.
At first read, they seem too simplistic, to simple, but in simple things there is power. Give it a try! What have you got to lose, except the misery you're living in?
Depression - Related Keywords for Searching
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