A submissives journey

What's new 

       on Asj?



Chapter 1
The Asj Community



Chapter 2
Resource Information 





Chapter 3
Subbie's Couch



Chapter 4
The Dom's Lounge



Chapter 5

 The Library






Chapter 6





Chapter 7

 Useful Links






Chapter 8
Members share their thoughts





Chapter 9

 Members Only






Chapter 10
Asj's Site Index




Chapter 11
Asj's Book Store




Chapter 12
Recommended Reading List



Chapter 13
Asj slave, sub Registry












Facts about B&D, D&S, and S&M (BDSM)


Mutual consent is what distinguishes BDSM from abuse and assault, just as consent distinguishes sex from rape.

Context is what determines whether or not pain is experienced as pleasurable, though the context depends on the individual.  An example of "good" pain may be getting scratched during sex, while an example of "bad" pain may be stubbing your toe.

Some individuals view BDSM as their sexual orientation, like heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality.  Others view it as a chosen sexual practice.  In either case, it needs to be respected.

Not all BDSM play is between heterosexual couples.  People who practice BDSM may be either monogamous or polyamourous.

BDSM may or may not include sexual contact.  For example, during a "scene" which centers around the use of flogggers the partners may not have physical contact which goes beyond friendly hugging, yet to each individual, the scene may be sexually arousing.  This sexual energy may be used at the end of a  "scene" either with that partner, another partner, or by the individual alone.

People who are submissive with their partner in a BDSM "scene" may not be necessarily submissive in other aspects of their lives.

BDSM can encompass physical and/or psychological interactions.  Ligature marks around wrists or ankles cause safety questions to be raised.  War patients about erotic asphyxiation -- choking play or hanging play is very dangerous but common.

Accidents can happen n BDSM, just as in any other physical activity, but this isn't abuse.

Rings, collars, brands, piercings or tattoos can be symbols of commitment which are as sacred as marriage bands.

Both "tops" and "bottoms" can have bruises or soreness from a play session (scene).  Both "tops" and "bottoms,"  regardless of their sex, can be abused.

Not all women "sub/bottom" and not all men "Dom/top."

Some people are proud of their bruises marks/cuts just as they might be proud of a hickey on their neck.  Don't assume it is a problem or a mistake.

Partners who know each other very well may sometimes "negotiate" a scene without a "safe word" -- this is still not abuse but a matter of profound trust.




Temporary Consensual Agreement



Temporary Consensual Master Contract



Negotiated Boundaries Contract for the Enslavement Term


This Indenture


Slave Contract


Master & Slave Contract






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Copyright 2002 - 2015 [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved.
Revised: September 05, 2015