A submissives journey - BDSM D/s Terms and Definitions

AIDS: acquired immune deficiency syndrome, caused by a retrovirus (HIV-I, human immunodeficiency virus) infection, and formerly almost always lethal. No cure has been discovered as of this writing, but many HIV positive individuals can delay the onset of, or reverse the progression into, AIDS by careful attention to diet, exercise, stress reduction and appropriate medication

Ambisexuality: having characteristics shared by both sexes [from Greek, ambi, both + sex]--in human beings, for example, nipples; pubic hair; birth-defective genitalia that look hermaphroditically ambiguous or intersexed; or mating behavior shared by both sexes.

Amenorrhea: absence or failure of the menstrual periods.

Anal Play: Stimulating or penetrating the anus to derive or impart sexual pleasure.

Analingus: Rimming or penetration of the anus with the tongue. Stimulation of the anus with tongue and lips, not a paraphilia, but may be part of normophilic sexuoerotic activity as well as part of the sadomasochistic repertory.

Androcur: the trade name of the hormone, cyproterone acetate, manufactured by Schering A.G., West Berlin. The hormone resembles progestin and is antiandrogenic. It has various clinical applications, one of which is to help sex offenders gain personal governance of their sexuoerotic conduct. See also Depo-Provera.

androgen: male sex hormone [from Greek, andros, man], produced chiefly by the testis, but also by the adrenal cortex and, in small amounts, by the ovary. In biochemical structure, there are several different but related steroid hormones that qualify as androgens. They differ in biological strength and effectiveness.

androgen-induced hermaphroditism: a syndrome of hermaphroditic birth defect of the sex organs induced in the 46, XY gonadally female fetus by an excess of masculinizing hormone transmitted from the mother through the placenta. The syndrome may be experimentally induced in animals by injection of the hormone testosterone, whereas in human beings it is adventitious, the source of the hormone being a maternal (possibly placental) hormone-producing tumor.

androgen-insensitivity syndrome (AIS): (also called testicular-feminizing syndrome): a congenital condition identified by a 46, XY sex chromosomal karyotype in girls or women who appear externally to be not sexually different from normal females, except in some cases for a swelling or lump in each groin, or for the absence or sparseness of pubic and axillary hair after puberty. The cells of the body are unable to respond to the male sex hormone, which is made in the testes in normal amounts for a male. They respond instead to the small amount of female sex hormone, estrogen, which is normally made in the testes. The effect before birth is that masculine internal development commences but is not completed. It goes far enough, however, to prevent internal female development. Externally, the genitalia differentiate as female, except for a blind vagina, which is usually not deep enough for satisfactory intercourse and needs either dilation or surgical lengthening in or after middle teenage. There is no menstruation and no fertility. Breasts develop normally. Incidence of occurrence is approximately one in 500 births. Synonym, testicular-feminizing syndrome.

Androgyny: Having both female and male characteristics; hermaphroditic. Being neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior. showing characteristics of both sexes [syn: hermaphroditism, bisexuality]

Aphrodisiac: Drug stimulating a sexual response. exciting sexual desire [syn: aphrodisiacal, sexy] [ant: anaphrodisiac] n : a drug or other agent that stimulates sexual desire

Autoerotic Asphyxiation: Arousal from lack of oxygen.

Autoerotica: Self induced arousal from fantasies, pornography, erotica or other aids.

BDSM:Acronym for bondage, domination, sadism/submission and masochism; used as a generic term to describe one portion of the alternative sex community.

bestiality: see zoophilia.

Binding: Wrapping the feet or genitals with string, rope or lace.

Bisexual: People who are sexually attracted to both sexes.

bisexual (an adjective, noun, bisexuality): 1. characterized by other-sex and same-sex contacts, either concurrently or sequentially in the course of development, either in genital acts or as a long-term sexuoerotic status [from Latin, bi, two + sex]. 2. bisexuality; bisexualism: erotic pairing with partners of either genital morphology, usually serially, but possibly simultaneously. The distribution of heterophilia and homophilia in bisexuality may be 50:50 or, more likely, in unequal proportions such as 60:40 or 20:80. Bisexuality is not a paraphilia, although paraphilias may exist in association with bisexuality. Antonym, monosexual. (People who are sexually attracted to both sexes.)

blindfolding: Covering the eyes during sexual play.

blow job: vernacular term for fellatio.

Body Painting: Drawing or painting temporary designs on the body.

Body Worship: Sex game in which one partner is made to adore another's body.

Bondage: The state of one who is bound as a slave or serf. A state of

subjection to a force, power, or influence. The practice of being physically restrained, as with cords or handcuffs, as a means of attaining sexual gratification. Villeinage.

bondage and discipline (B & D): in the vernacular, sadomasochism involving constraint with rope, chains, or other equipment, and abuse, punishment, or torture with various forms of equipment to enforce obedience, servitude, or enslavement.

Bottom: Passive partner who experiences stimuli during sex games; also known as a masochist, slave or submissive. An S&M term describing the submissive or masochistic partner in a scene. The word "bottoming" is sometimes used as a verb.

Breast Bondage: see http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/breast.html

BUKKAKE a Japanese sexual term that refers to showering a receiver with sperm from one, several or many men. It is always a sperm shower and, therefore, those on the giving end are always male.

Caning: A whipping with a switch or cane to discipline your partner.

Chastity Belts: Leather or metal belts used to prevent genital penetration. A beltlike device of medieval times designed to prevent the woman wearing it from having sexual intercourse.

chronophilia: one of a group of paraphilias of the stigmatic/eligibilic type in which the paraphile's sexuoerotic age is discordant with his/her actual chronological age and is concordant with the age of the partner, as in, respectively, infantilism or nepiophilia; juvenilism or pedophilia; adolescentilism or ephebophilia (Lolita syndrome); and gerontalism or gerontophilia [from Greek, chronos, time + -philia].

Chérambault-Kandinsky syndrome: a paraphilia of the solicitational/allurative stratagem; a sexuoerotic pathology in which a [person] male or female has a limerent fixation on someone unattainable, an unshakable and false conviction that his/her own life is totally under the control of the unattainable one, and that the unattainable one reciprocates his/her love, limerence or love-smitteness secretly if not openly.

clit: see clitoris

clitoris (plural, clitorides; adjective, clitoral or clitoridean): the small, hooded organ (the clitoral glands) at the top of the cleft of the female vulva, which is the counterpart of the penis in the male [from Greek, kleitoris, clitoris]. Usually only the glands of the clitoris is externally visible. In the human female the body of the clitoris extends internally on either side of the vulva and vestibule. In total the clitoris is about 80 percent the size of the male penis. In the rat, mouse, and hamster, the clitoris is not hooded, but its covering is fused as in the male's penis to form a urinary tube.

clitoromegaly: extreme enlargement or hypertrophy of the clitoris.

clitoropenis: see penoclitoris.

coital aninsertia: inability in the female to have the penis inserted into the vagina, or in the male to insert the penis. It may be associated with neglect or denial of one's own penis or vagina (as in many unoperated transsexuals) or, more commonly, with phobic anxiety or panic and avoidance of penetration of one's own vagina, or of inserting one's own penis.

coital fantasy: imagery of erotically stimulating content that accompanies sexual intercourse and may precede it and be essential to the attainment of orgasm. It may or may not be related to the actual partner and activity going on, and may in fact be an intrusion that cannot be voluntarily controlled. Alternatively, it may disappear as sexual excitement builds up, as the person becomes totally immersed in body sensations. Synonyms, copulation fantasy; intercourse fantasy. See also masturbation fantasy.

coitus or coition: the sexual act, specifically the taking of the penis into the vagina, or the penetrating of the vagina with the penis; but more generally the complete interaction between two sexual partners. See also copulate; intercourse; mount.

Cock Rings: Rings placed around the base of the male genitals to maintain erections.

Corsetting: Body modification or oxygen restriction from using corsets.

Costumes: Dress-up clothes for sexual fantasy play.

Crop: A jockey's riding crop, used as an implement for discipline

Cross: Usually a St.Andrews shaped heavy wooden cross, about 2 meters high, used for bondage during a BDSM scene.

Cross-dresser: A person who wears the apparel of the opposite sex.

Cunnilingus: Oral sex performed on a woman. oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris [syn: cunnilinctus]

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Depo-Provera: the trade name of the hormone, medroxyprogesterone acetate, manufactured by Upjohn in the United States. The hormone is progestinic and antiandrogenic. It has several clinical applications, one of which is to help sex offenders gain personal governance of their sexuoerotic conduct. See also Androcur

Deviant: not in conformity with what is considered ideal, standard, or normal, according to a given criterion standard that may itself be deviantly radical, conventional, despotic, or arbitrary.

Discipline: Punishment and control of a partner during sex play.

Dominance/Submission: Power exchange between partners.

Dominatrix: A person, usually a woman hired, to function as a top or sadist. A female in the sadomasochistic role of total domination and discipline.

Drag Queen: vernacular name for a male homosexual dressed in women's attire and impersonating a woman, often in an exaggerated way.

Dungeons: Rooms that are decorated for SM play.

Ejaculation (verb to ejaculate): expulsion or spurting out, as of the semen at the time of sexual climax or orgasm.

Erotic power exchange: Is social role play, revolving around the power element that forms a part of every relationship between human beings. Hence it is not - although often depicted as such - a purely sexual game. In fact many people will identify it as a lifestyle and, sociologically speaking, one might even identify it as a separate culture or at least subculture. Erotic power exchange identifies the power element, magnifies it and uses the power dynamics between partners as one of the instruments to build and shape a relationship. It is usually - but not always - connected but not restricted to the sexual activities between partners in a relationship

Erotica: depictions of ideas and images in the literary and visual arts that have sexual and erotic appeal and, for at least a selected audience, sexual arousal value, without being condemned as pornographic. More specifically, erotica is congruent with the idealized content of one's idiosyncratic lovemap and is therefore effective in eroticising, arousing, and facilitating orgasm in that individual. (pictures and literature)

Exhibitionism: (noun, exhibitionist) a paraphilia of the solicitational/allurative type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to and contingent on evoking surprise, dismay, shock, or panic from a stranger by illicitly exhibiting an erotic part of the body, including the genitals [from Latin, exhibere, to exhibit]. The reciprocal paraphilic condition is voyeurism, also known as being a "Peeping Tom." The condition of being responsive to, or dependent on the surprise, debasement, shock, or outcry of a stranger (usually female), unexpectedly exposed to the sight of the penis, in order to obtain one's erotic arousal and facilitate or achieve orgasm. The actual event may be replayed in a masturbation or coital fantasy.

Fantasy Play: Acting out sexual fantasies.

Fantasy: A mental image or illusion, sometimes sexual.

Fellatio: Oral sex performed on a man.

Fetish: An object that replaces people as primary object of love.

Fisting: Inserting a fist or hand into the vagina or anus.

Flagellant: a person who undergoes whipping or scourging, especially as a religious penitent, or as a sexual masochist.

Flagellation: Striking a person with an object. Beating with a whip or strap or rope as a form of punishment

Frottage: Rubbing one's body against a partner or object for arousal. The act of rubbing against the body of another person, as in a crowd, to attain sexual gratification.

Fuck (noun; verb): the Anglo-Saxon synonym for sexual intercourse, coition, or copulation (all Latin-derived). To copulate and to fuck are the only one-word verbs for mutual genital intercourse. The former is too stilted for vernacular use. The latter, being tabooed as dirty, is often replaced by euphemisms like to screw or to ball.

Gay: A man who prefers sex with another man.

Genital Massage: Stimulating the genitals with the hands, usually during sensual massage.

Golden Showers: a vernacular term for urophilia. See Water Sports

GLBT: Generic descriptive term for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

Handkerchief Codes: Color codes that identify sexual preferences.

Harness: Body harnesses used in suspension or penis restriction, or straps worn to support a dildo for penetrating another partner.

Hermaphrodite: Person who has both female and male genitalia.

Homoeroticism: Sexual arousal from a person of the same sex. A sexual attraction to (or sexual relations with) persons of the same sex [syn: homosexuality, homosexualism, gayness]

Hot Wax: A sex game in which hot wax is melted onto a partner.

Kegel Exercises: Exercise of the pelvic muscles that control orgasm.

Lap Dancing: Squatting above a sitting person and rubbing against them to create arousal without touching their genitals.

Lesbian: A woman who prefers to have sex with other women.

Masochism: The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences. Sexual pleasure obtained from receiving punishment (physical or psychological)

Massage: Rubbing the body to increase circulation.

Masturbation: Stimulating one's own sexual organs and erogenous zones.

Menage á Trois: Three people having sex together.

Nipple Clamp: A nipple clamp is a clamp used to stimulate the nipples by applying varying degrees of pressure. Its basic principle relies on restriction of blood flow to the erect nipple. They are often used in certain BDSM activities, on both men and women. The use of nipple clamps is often portrayed in the media as deviant or kinky sexual behavior.

Online Sex: Verbal sex between partners via email, chat room or other Internet device.

Orgy: Group sex.

Paraphilia: Sexual arousal to an unusual or socially unacceptable object or act.

Pegging: is a sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo. Advice columnist Dan Savage wrote that he believes all men should try pegging at least once, as it may introduce them to a new enjoyable sexual activity and illuminate them to the receiver's perspective in sex. A few instructional movies and books have emerged in recent years, including Bend Over Boyfriend, produced by Fatale Media, Inc., and directed by Shar Rednour, SIR Video co-founder. As an accomplished author of numerous sex guides and informational books on various sexual taboos, Violet Blue wrote and released The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Strap-On Sex in 2007.

The National Insitutes of Health (NIH), with information published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), states that, "There are little published data on how many heterosexual men would like their anus to be sexually stimulated in a heterosexual relationship," but that, "Anecdotally, it is a substantial number. What data we do have almost all relate to penetrative sexual acts, and the superficial contact of the anal ring with fingers or the tongue is even less well documented but may be assumed to be a common sexual activity for men of all sexual orientations.

Pheromones: Natural chemicals or hormones that induce a sexual response.

Phone Sex: Verbal sex between partners on a phone.

Play Room: A room equipped with sex paraphernalia and used primarily for sex play.

Play: The consensual acting out of a role or game, sometimes sexual.

Polyamory: Many loves, having more than one submissive or slave.

Polygamy: One person with multiple marriage partners.

Queer: Generic descriptive term for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

Rimming: Penetrating the anus with the tongue.

Ritual Sex: Sex performed with specific rules of conduct (i.e., Wicca, weddings, slave training).

Sadism: Empowerment and arousal derived from injuring others.

Sadomasochism: The combination of inflicting and receiving pain as a means to sexual arousal.

Sensory Deprivation: Using lack of sensations to create desire.

Sensual Massage: Combining elements of sensuality with massage to produce arousal and possibly orgasm.

Sex Magick: The use of witchcraft rituals for sexual purposes.

Sex Slave: Person who enjoys being dominated.

Sex Surrogates: People who are trained to help other people overcome sexual dysfunctions.

Sex Toys: Mechanical objects used to assist in masturbation or sex play.

Sexologists: People who study the science of sex.

Sexual Climax: The moment of most intense pleasure in sexual intercourse [syn: orgasm, climax, coming]

Shaving: Removing the hair of a partner or oneself, usually pubic, with a razor for arousal.

Slave: Person who contracts to be sex slave.

Slings: Swings or other forms of support or suspension from which a person may engage in sex.

SM: Abbreviation for sadomasochism. The common term for sexual or erotic activity involving the giving and recieving of pain and pleasure. The letters of the expression refer to sadism and masochism. Although, strictly speaking, the term refers only to physical play, it is sometimes generally used to encompass dominance and submission play (D&S) as well. Some people spell this term SM to indicate that sadomasochism is one word and one lifestyle, not two.

Spanking: Using one's hand to slap a partner's buttocks for sensory enhancement and arousal.

Stripping: Removing one's clothes, sometimes performed on stage in an erotic manner.

Submission: Surrender to and trust of a partner.

Swing: An object that allows a person or two to be suspended and move back and forth during sex.

Swinging: Group sex or wife swapping.

Tantra: Yoga-type sexual discipline.

Top: The person who controls the stimuli during sex games. An S&M term used to describe the dominant or sadistic partner in a scene. The word "topping" is sometimes used as a verb.

Transsexual: Person in the process of physically changing sexes.

Transvestite: Person aroused by cross-dressing.

Urophilia: a paraphilia of the fetishistic/talismanic type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to, and [dependent upon] {contingent on} being urinated upon and/or swallowing urine [from Greek, ouron, urine + -philia] There is no technical term for the reciprocal

condition of urinating on or in the mouth of the partner. Synonym urolagnia. (adjective, urophilic): the condition of being responsive to or dependent on the smell or taste of urine, or the sight and someone urinating, in order to obtain erotic arousal and facilitate or achieve orgasm. See also water sports; golden showers.

Voyeurism: a paraphilia of the solicitational/allurative type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to, [and dependent upon] {and contingent on} the risk of being discovered while covertly or illicitly watching a stranger disrobing or engaging in sexual activity [from French, voir, to look at] The reciprocal paraphilic condition is exhibitionism. (noun, voyeur): the condition of being responsive to, or dependent on, the risk of being apprehended while illicitly peering at an individual (usually female) or a couple undressing or engaged in sexual activity, in order to obtain one's erotic arousal and facilitate or achieve orgasm. A voyeur is also known as a peeping Tom, the name of the fictional character, who after warnings not to do so at the pain of death, spied on the naked Lady Godiva as she rode trough the town clad only in her long hair in sympathetic protest of the unreasonable taxes levied by her husband on the impoverished citizens. The risk of detection, while illicitly observing or overhearing nudity or sexual activity, specifically contributes to the arousal of the paraphilic voyeur. Arousal by watching others without their consent.

Water Sports: Generally considered to be play involving human urine, ie., Golden Showers. A term generally used to describe the eroticization of games having to do with urination and/or defecation, and occasionally enema play.

Whipping: Striking or flagellating a partner for sensory enhancement.

zoophilia: a paraphilia of the stigmatic/eligibilic type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to and {contingent on} [dependent upon] engaging in cross-species sexual activities, that is, with an animal [from Greek, zoon, animal + -philia]. There is no technical term for the cross-species reciprocal paraphilic condition in which an animal mates with a member of the human or other species, although the phenomenon does exist; (adjective, zoophilic): the condition of being responsive to, or depending on, sexual activity with an animal in order to obtain erotic arousal and facilitate orgasm: also known as bestiality. Sexual contact (oral or genital). with an animal may occur sporadically in the course of human development without leading to long-term zoophilia. Synonym, bestiality.