The Role of the submissive
While each Dominant / submissive (D/s) relationship may be different and unique, you'll find there are many common traits shared by all in a particular role. As you begin to explore your place in the Dominant / submissive (D/s) Lifestyle as a submissive (or slave), you'll find that these traits and guidelines are expected of any submissive or slave:
A submissive should always be polite and respectful. There is no excuse for behavior, attitude or actions that result in her being perceived as impolite or rude to others.
A submissive is responsible for the overall care and well being of her
body and personal appearance. Her health and over all well being
will always be a prime concern to her Dominant.
A submissive (or slave) must always be in control of herself. Only by
having this self-control can she truly submit. Drugs, even
alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents affecting relationships
and most importantly a scene, therefore effecting the self-control the
submissive (slave) must have.
A submissive is always honest. To lie is to show you can not be
trusted and a Dominant must be able to trust you to respect you.
Honesty is an integral part of 'honor'
A submissive does not place blame for honest mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes. A responsible Dominant will admit when he
makes a mistake and do what is necessary to correct it. The submissive
has an equal responsibility to honor these efforts and not place blame
or ridicule the Dominant to others.
A submissive shows every Dominant respect until he has shown that he
does not deserve it. (With the exception of those practicing the
Gorean Lifestyle, this does not mean calling every Dominant "Master".
submissives should show Dominants the basic respect due any person
holding a position of authority. Any Dominant that requires you to
call him "Master" when he is not your owner is out of line in his
request. Politely tell him so.
A submissive discovers and is able to articulate the differences between
her needs, desires and wants.
Dominants are not mind readers. It is important to become self aware
and able to clearly tell a Dominant what your feelings are. The term
usually used for this ability is "transparency".
It is the DUTY of a submissive to accept only those Dominants that match
the submissive’s needs and desires. A submissive that is not into
whips should not belong to a Dominant that loves to whip submissives.
It is the RESPONSIBILITY of a submissive to help other submissives to
understand what abuse is. To ensure this is to ensure that the
submissive herself knows when to call it quits.
It is the RESPONSIBILITY of a submissive to help other submissives to
know what their rights and responsibilities are.
It is the RESPONSIBILITY of a submissive to help other submissives gain
information about the Lifestyle.
Showing the submissive how or where to get the information often is the
best way to accomplish this.
For an owned submissive to become involved with, or play with another
Dominant without her Dominant’s knowledge and permission is dishonorable
not only to her own honor, but to the honor and authority of all
Dominants concerned.
Interfering in the relationship of another Dominant and his submissive
is dishonorable and diminishes the credibility of the submissive.
To chase after or scene with a Dominant who has a collared submissive is
dishonorable. The exception is when a Dominant is seeking another
submissive and is in a consensual polyamorous relationship with his
first submissive.
It is the DUTY of a submissive to communicate with her Dominant. A Dominant is not a mind reader, nor should He be expected to be one.
A submissive may not adhere to these standards 100% of the time, but the
harder a submissive tries, the more the more successful she'll be in
fulfilling her role as a submissive. The submissives honor and
self-respect are directly attributable to how well she adheres to or
achieves these standards.
Copyright © 1998 - 2012 [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved. Revised: December 31, 2012
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