Slave Training 101

Although you'll find the word slave used in this section, in most situations it is interchangeable with the word submissive.  Whether you are training a girl to be a slave or a submissive, each of the things covered here can be taught to or used by either equally well.

Before we begin talking about training your slave or submissive, there are a few basic concepts you must know and be fully aware of.  First, and foremost, whether you call it owning, collaring, taking, possessing or any other term, having a girl either as a slave or a submissive is a big responsibility.  This responsibility CAN NOT be taken lightly.  Having a girl as your submissive or slave can be just as trying as having a small child.  In many situations, even more so!  Never forget, when the girl is yours, you are fully responsible for her health, welfare, emotional state and overall well being.  There is no such thing as "it's her fault",  it is now entirely Yours!  As the Dominant, You, and You alone  assume all responsibility for her actions and well being.  If  you're not fully ready for these responsibilities, then perhaps it's time to slow down a bit, learn more about this lifestyle and continue to prepare yourself for the ultimate phase of having a girl as your own.  If the girl you are about to train or teach is the first girl (submissive or slave) you've worked with, then I highly suggest you seek some guidance or assistance from a Mentor or someone that has a bit of experience in the Dominant submissive lifestyle.  (No, this doesn't mean You'll have to share Your girl with that Mentor.) You'll find having someone to give you a few pointers or use as a sounding board to discuss problems or difficulties You encounter will prove invaluable.  Don't ever hesitate to admit to anyone, including your slave/submissive that you yourself are a Novice if such is the case.

Some things should be common sense, but many times we tend to overlook common sense.  You'll have to pardon Me if I tend to reduce things to the very basic levels to insure clarity and understanding.  A girl can be a submissive or slave with or without doing/knowing all of the things discussed on these pages.  Just because I've listed something here doesn't mean if Your girl doesn't know or do them she's not a slave.  Similarly, there will be things you want to teach your girl that might not be covered on here.  The methods and procedures I've listed and detailed may not work for every girl or for that matter, for every Dominant.  I've found they work for Me, and I've seen them work for others.  Modify them to fit your own unique situation, personality and needs as appropriate.  As your experience grows in this lifestyle You will naturally find yourself developing your own techniques and methods.  The key is to learn what works best for You and your girl.

Throughout these pages, you'll find references to things obviously oriented towards BDSM or sexual activities.  While these things tends to be the normal, there is no requirement for a sexual act or participation in BDSM for a girl to be considered as or taught to be a slave or a submissive.

Did you know, the Asj Community hosts ‘Dominant submissive and BDSM Lifestyle Classes and Discussions’ here online every Sunday evening at 9:00 pm Eastern Time.  The Classes and Discussions are open to all and Free to attend.  Visit our Members Only Pages for more information, or click any of our “Member/Visitor Support” icons to ask for more information.

Seldom, if ever will you find any two Dominant submissive (D/s) couples with a relationship that is 100% identical.  It's perfectly appropriate to pattern your relationship after another's, but don't forget about the individuality of You and your girl.  Each couple has their own particular likes and dislikes, needs and wants.  Your relationship should also be modified to not only fit Your needs as an individual, but as a couple as well.

As you begin to work with your slave, don't look for the easy way out, it isn't there.  Opting for shortcuts in teaching your girl will most certainly result in a dismal failure.  You must learn to be consistent with your girl, you can't enforce something today, only to ignore it tomorrow. 

Regardless of the status of your girl, or what you are teaching her, at no time will you ever have the right to abuse her.  Insure you are fully aware of your girls mental, emotional and physical state at all times.  For example, just because a girl has told you something is within her limits, don't let it surprise you when you suddenly find out it's not. This is especially true with a complete novice that has never tried things before.  It's a lot different to do or say something in virtual time or in words only, then suddenly try it in real time or physically.  Yes, this is a two way street and You may find this impacts on Your own set of limits or standards too.

As the Dominant, You'll learn that most novice slaves will assume or expect you'll have all the answers about this lifestyle.  Learn that there may be many answers you don't have.  Recognize this and try to expand your awareness of what resources are available to you to find the answers you need to have.  I'm not saying you first have to be a slave to teach a slave, but you're going to have a difficult time trying to teach your slave how to iron your shirt if you don't know how to iron them in the first place. 

Take the time to learn about this lifestyle.  Make time to read books, talk with others and observe the interactions of others.  Learn to listen, but also learn to be comfortable enough to discuss this lifestyle with others.  Just reading or listening won't guarantee you can understand what you've read.  If you're able to competently discuss something, you'll find it's a pretty safe bet you understand the subject, and if you don't have a correct understanding, you'll find yourself being provided more information and clarifications of the topic through your discussions.