Silence in submission
"silence is golden" and so is
submissiveness
A common problem among submissives,
myself included is the gift of silence. Knowing when to be
seen but not heard is a valuable trait for a submissive.
What is the need for a submissive to be quiet? -
Silence when in a setting with your Dom allows him to take
control easier. A Dom will find it hard to get a command in
when a sub is chatting about 1000 different things.
Silent communication and silence for a submissive are worth
working on for two reasons:
1. Silent communication can
be great for vanilla settings. Through gestures your Dominant
can communicate lots of power and control over you without
drawing attention to your lifestyle.
2. Soon you will
notice your speech more, and with some time you will learn to
control it. Biting your tongue and finding the right time to
discuss things are good goals to strive for. This will not
happen over night.
This trait is easier "said than
done". Many of us find a need to communicate, a need to
express vital towards our submission. The respectful manner of
only speak when you are spoken to can sometimes stymie that
need to communicate and express. But, doing a few daily
exercises can soon make silence very golden.
The Exercises
For one part of your day
spend it in total silence - On
the computer turn off the music. When reading, do the same.
Think of small ways during your day to spend a quiet time,
where you do not permit yourself to speak or hear speech. It
is good to start out with 30 minutes of your day and then
slowly move up to an hour or two.
If you have an
idea during the day write it down - Sometimes there is no
filter between what we think and what we say. Carrying a small
pad of paper around or having it near you all day can help you
create that filter. If you have an idea for dinner, something
to tell your Master, or anything just write it down and then
you can go over it with logic and find a good way to say it
and the right time to say it.
Practice silent
commands with your Dom - This is a great way to broaden
your communication and also communicate when you are gagged in
your next scene. Hand gestures for you are simply slow and
stop motions. Hand gestures for your Dom can signify kneel, at
rest and other positions. I am not going to list good
gestures, because I think it is good for your Dominate to
decide which gestures are best for both of you. It makes D/s
more personal and sacred :)
Speak only when you are
spoken to or if needing permission - This might be the
hardest exercise. Which is why I put it last. Spend a day
doing this. This is not an practice that should be done
everyday, in my opinion. Because, this does not allow ample
expression, but a submissive will learn to appreciate
expression and the privilege a Dom gives to express much more,
if confronted with a day like this.
Remember the Yin and Yang
Silence and expression is a delicate balance. Both Doms and
subs should realize the importance of both. Respect for both
partners is imperative. Respect towards the Top's Dominance
and the bottom's need to express themselves.
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Revised: September 21, 2019