The Basics of SSC Power Exchange
1. TRUST AND COMMUNICATION ARE THE KEYS TO MAKING SM OR
D/S WORK.
People make errors, most often out of ignorance. Trust depends on
honest communication. Incomplete negotiation is an error, but dishonesty
during negotiation is abusive manipulation. Errors are forgivable,
manipulation or coercion are indefensible. Trust is a precious gift that
once violated is hard to restore.
2. BOTH DOMINANT AND SUBMISSIVE ARE HUMAN BEINGS EQUAL IN
VALUE ANDWORTH.
They are halves of a whole, yin and yang. Neither can function as
dominant or submissive without the other. Before a submissive can wisely
transfer power, they must empower themselves. Its a cliché but a true
one, that you can't love another before you love yourself. You also
can't trust another before you learn to trust yourself. And you
certainly can't give devotion to another person, unless you respect
yourself. It is important to understand the difference between fantasy
and reality. While in fantasy the person may be merely a lowly slave, a
pet, a fucktoy or whatever makes you hot; in reality the submissive is a
human being of value and worth of respect.
3. THE CONTROL ASSUMED EQUALS THE RESPONSIBILITY ACCEPTED.
A dominant must understand that a person in a submissive state of
mind during a scene is operating in a state of diminished capacity and
their ability to make decisions is severely compromised. This is the
precisely the point of transferring control. This is why it is important
to negotiate carefully before a scene. A submissive is entrusting her
body, mind and spirit to the dominant's care, which is my mind is a
sacred covenant. If you aren't willing to accept responsibility for your
actions, don't accept the power.
4. A DOM(ME) HAS ONLY THE POWER GIVEN TO HIM/HER BY
CONSENT OF THE SUBMISSIVE.
The dom can't decided unilaterally to take more control and the
sub can't unilaterally decide that they want more control than is agreed
to in negotiation. However, both people have veto power, either can stop
the power exchange at any time. Any changes in level, duration or
circumstances of control must be agreed to when both people are in a
calm rational non-scene state of mind. Whether the agreement is for one
scene or for a relationship this remains so. Sex without consent is
rape. Beating without consent is assault A safe word in a scene is
withdrawal of consent! To play without a safe word increases the
responsibility of the dominant rather than lessons it!!! This is
something I would strongly advise against in most cases, especially
outside of a long-term committed relationship. Safe words are *more*
then ever needed in "punishment" scenes, rather than less because the
when immediate pleasure of the submissive is of lower priority, it is
more difficult for the dom to know when enough is enough or if something
has gone wrong.
5. A RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS FOR ONE PERSON TO THE
DETRIMENT OF ANOTHER IS ABUSIVE.
Again, it is important to remember the difference between fantasy
and reality. While the sub may be lesser in importance in fantasy, in
reality their wants and needs are of equal importance. The submissive is
transferring control and decision making to the dominant to be used for
BOTH their benefit. Life doesn't come with a guarantee, when one gives
trust there is always the chance of that trust being misused. With care,
one can reduce the risk somewhat. But no matter how careful or not a
person has been, this in no way excuses the abuse. DO NOT BLAME THE
VICTIM. Frequently people fear to talk about abuse because of
negative response ... it becomes as if the victim is abused twice when
this occurs. People who make excuses for abusers are enablers that
compound the problem.
This website is dedicated to the belief and practice of “Absolute Submission” and “Unconditional Surrender” within the “Ancient” and “Biblical” documented and practiced “Natural Order” of women consensually submitting to men. /span>
Examples of practices of the "Natural Order" can be found in many well known scriptures such as "The Hebrew Torah", "The Talmud", "The Holy Ouran", "The Old Testament", "The New Testament", and "The Book Of Mormon", to name a few.
This website contains absolutely No Pornography. Nothing Obscene, Threatening, Defamatory, Harmful, or Illegal. No content is in any way or form Racially, Ethnically or Morally objectionable. Nor is any content meant to Insult, Offend, or Demean. No Illegal or, Forceful, Involuntary, Unconsensual activities are encouraged or supported.
Amongst other rights, this website is protected by the Bill Of Rights and the First Amendment to the United States Constitution with the Freedom Of Religious Practices Act and the Right of Freedom Of Speech.
Due to the mature nature of this website, you MUST be of legal age of over 18 years of age to enter.
If the subject matter of this website, or the discussion thereof offends you in any way or form, or if you are not of legal age, you may not enter the website and MUST LEAVE NOW.
By entering this website you declare that you are of legal age of 18 years or older and agree to the terms and conditions of this website.
This Dominant submissive/slave lifestyle website first became active on about February 1, 2002. The Asj community has been online in one form or another since approximately early 1985.
Copyright © 1998 - 2011 [A submissives journey]. All rights reserved. Revised: February 07, 2012
.
asj online community
- Visit our online community, including our chat rooms, member profiles, blogs and more.
- For those of the Gorean (Gor) persuasion, yes the Asj chat rooms include a Gorean Chat room, considered to be a safe zone.
ask live, online
Can't find what you're looking for, have a question about the Asj community, or the lifestyle in general, click the icon to chat live with one of our site monitors. We're proud to be one of the few D/s or BDSM sites to offer this feature.
