Many people have never played, nor had the opportunity to watch  experienced people play.  And perhaps a spouse or friend has expressed  an interest.  Knowing how to proceed makes all the difference between  a satisfying experience and and an ill-fated disappointment.  A good  adult spanking takes about an hour, and by following the suggestions  outlined, an inexperienced player can look like an old hand in making  fantasy a reality, which is what this is all about.  

 Safewords:

 Agree on safewords.   "Yellow" is a common word meaning the bottom is  at the limit, and the impacts should be no harder nor come any faster.   "Red" means stop.   Choose whatever words you like, and remember  that the bottom has a responsibility for communicating and the top for  responding. 

 The open hand: 

 When using the hand, it should be cupped slightly, with a small gap  between the fingers.  Place the tip of the thumb against the knuckle of  the first finger.  The hand should be firm, but not tight.   The wrist is  kept straight, and the elbow is bent to adjust the distance.   Impacts  come from the upper arm/shoulder, and are delivered straight on to the  target.  This is the American style.  The European style delivers upwards  and downwards arcing, glancing impacts.  They are hard to target and  pull the skin.   The American style is more direct, and preferred by most  bottoms. 

 Positions: 

 The number of positions are limited only by imagination and common  sense.  And the basic rule is "comfort is king!"  Tightly stretched  positions (e.g. holding the ankles) should be used only for short periods.   The skin and underlying flesh is drawn tight, and not allowed to displace  from the impact.  This leads to marking and bruising.  Other positions  where the bottom's weight is carried by internal organs and the  diaphragm (e.g. OTK using a chair) should also only be used for short  periods.  A short period means no more than about 5 minutes. 

 When bent over, the angle formed between the thighs and back should  not exceed 45 degrees.  The "on all fours" position is best when kneeling  is done on knees and hands (with straight arms) and not knees and  elbows.  Or kneeling mostly upright on the seat of a chair or sofa.   When  standing the hands should be placed on a table or back of a chair to help  support the weight downward.  A wall helps maintain balance, but will  not provide support if "dancing" begins.  When lying down, pillows  underneath the head, hips and ankles work wonders - it is far more  comfortable than simply lying flat.    

 The sofa or bed makes the most relaxing and enjoyable place for OTK.  The top should sit as far back as possible so the bottom is completely  supported.  Placing a pillow under the bottom's head and ankles makes it  even more comfortable.  When relaxed, the bottom finds it easier to go  to the special place inside them (i.e. zoning, sub-zoning, flying).  The  top's job is to get the bottom there, and once there they seem  impervious to pain.  Do not strike harder or faster thinking they are  asleep!  And do not keep them there too long.  An extended visit can  result in a headache from the continued endorphin release in the brain. 

 Targeting: 

 Striking the same spot repeatedly is not preferred by many bottoms.   The area needs a short time to recover.  And striking above the tip of  the tailbone is dangerous - the nerves exiting the base of the spine and  the kidneys can easily be injured.  An easy way to prevent this during  OTK is for the top to lightly place one hand on the bottom's lower back.   Extend the thumb so it touches the tip of the tailbone.  This protects the  area from inadvertent misses, especially if the bottom wiggles or kicks. 

 Draw an imaginary line across the buttocks between the tip of the  tailbone and the very top of the thigh.  Each cheek will be divided into a  upper and lower section.  Strike in a rotating pattern - for example:  upper left, lower right, upper right, lower left, and repeat.  Vary the  pattern during play - at least once a minute.  Then divide each cheek  into thirds, create a pattern, then vary it. 

 Occasionally during play, a single gentle strike on the top of the thigh  can be added in.  This is a very sensitive area requiring reduced  intensity.  And for maximum effect, no more than 3-4 times on each  thigh during play. 

 Building the intensity: 

 Role playing disciplinary spankings are applied at nearly full intensity  with little or no warm up.  For sensual spankings, the intensity should be  carefully increased.  There are several reasons for this.   The low  beginning intensity enhances blood flow to the area which helps prevent  marking and bruising when the intensity increases.  Also, when intensity  is carefully increased during the stages of play, the bottom can take  much higher levels than if not warmed up.  And this also helps build  confidence and trust when playing with someone for the first time. 

 Intensity is built in steps, not a straight line.  Imagine an intensity scale  of 1 to 10, where 1 is the lightest impact that can be felt and 10 is the  hardest impact that can be tolerated.  Intensity is built from 1 to 2 to 3.  Then intensity is reduced back to 2, then increased from 2 to 3 to 4.   Then back to 3, then from 3 to 4 to 5, etc.  During the heart of the play,  the intensity can vary from 5 to 10, with rate being a factor.  During  cool down, intensity is reduce back down in steps - 10 to 9 to 8, then 9  to 8 to 7, etc.  

 Rate: 

 Role playing disciplinary spankings normally occur at a constant and  brisk rate.  Sensual spankings generally start and end at very slow  rates, with a number of rate changes adding to the sensation.  During  warmup, the rate is slow.  Starting at about one impact every 2-3  seconds and increasing very gradually to about 1 per second.  A slow,  steady rate is relaxing and comforting, and puts the bottom at ease.    Cool down is the compliment - about 1 per second decreasing to once  every 2-3 seconds. 

 During the heart of the play, maximum effect results when the pace  varies slightly.  The anticipation of the impact is as intoxicating as the  impact itself - varying the timing retains that anticipation.   Maintain a  rate of about 1 per second, then gradually increase to about 2 per  second.  Then gradually decrease to about 1 per second.  The whole  cycle should take about a minute.  And an alert top will notice the  bottom clenching in anticipation of the timing - skip a beat. 

 A few short bursts of about 4 impacts per second really heighten the  heart of the play.  Coming without warning, the bursts should last about  10-15 seconds.  And they should happen no more than about 3 times.   And remember to follow the pattern and reduce the intensity about 2  levels. 

 The warm up: 

 This is the most important part of sensual OTK play, and should take a  full third of the time spent.  It sets the tone and calms a racing heart.   The top should position the bottom, and make them comfortable.  Begin  by gently stroking the backs of the legs up to the top of the thighs, and  the shoulders down to the base of the spine.  Repeat a few times until  there is no muscle tightness or tension. 

 A good OTK session begins over the clothing, starting at a rate of about  3 per second and increasing to about 1 per second.   Intensity steps up  from 1 to about 5.  At this point, the top layer of clothing is removed  exposing the undergarments.  Doing this slowly heightens the  anticipation.  With the undergarments exposed, repeat the warmup from  the very beginning.  Do not skimp or rush - remember to always keep  building the anticipation.   Near the end, pull back the undergarments to  expose the cheeks.  The bottom may find this exciting, but the purpose  is for the top to check the color.  It should be a very even light pink.   And this is a good time for a minute of gentle stroking.  

 A minute of impacts, then restore the undergarments snugly across the  buttocks.  Then about another minute of play.   Ever so slowly, slide the  undergarments down to just above the knees.  This is an extremely  exciting time for the bottom, so slow patience is critical.  The bottom  may arch up to assist, and the top should try to minimize this - better  they remain relaxed and feel the sensation.  A minute a gentle stroking  works wonders, but avoid squeezing.  Light fingertip touching on the  pinkened area, backs of the legs, and shoulders.  Again, repeat the  warm up from the very beginning.  Take your time, remembering to build  the anticipation. 

 The heart of the play: 

 This is a time of excitement and caution.  Build the intensity in steps,  then vary the rate, adding in the short bursts.  After using the hand,  this is the time for toys - all the techniques described under intensity  and rate can be repeated using them as well.  Different toys provide  different sensations.  Implements having a small contact surface area  are generally "stingy," while those having a larger surface area are  "thuddy."  Different shapes (e.g. oval) apply impact over different areas  to vary the sensation.  Begin with thuddy toys moving toward stingy  and back again.  Every bottom will have a preference.  If toys are used,  80% of bottoms prefer leather over wood.  Wood offers no forgiveness  to match the contour of the body, and has a tendency to bruise.  Focus  on the favorite sensation, but do not completely neglect the others - it  adds contrast.  And this is the time to vary positions.  It provides  further excitement for the bottom, and gives the top a chance to  stretch and catch a breath. 

 A good top pays close attention during this time.  Hand spanking can  leave small red speckles on the bottom - the intensity should be reduced  and the rate increased.  And check that the palm remains slightly  cupped.  And an alert top checks the side of the buttock furthest away  several times during the play.  If toys are used, soft leather can wrap,  leaving marks.   Dark red swirls or bright red / bluish outlines on the  cheeks indicate the intensity is too high.  Either the toy is too heavy, too  stiff, or is being used too hard.  The bottom cannot see their own  buttocks, and the top is responsible.  It is better to go longer and  lighter.  The color should be an even glowing crimson, with no mottling. 

 The cool down: 

 This is the best part, and well worth a quarter of the time spent - a time  of gentle sighs and deep relaxation.  There is no substitute for the hand  to cool down the bottom in a lying down OTK position.   Gradually step  down the intensity and reduce the rate - do not hurry.  When at the  lowest level, intermittent half-minute periods of gentle finger tip  stroking and light massage, followed by slow and light impacts helps to  maintain blood flow.  This reduces any marking or bruising that may  appear later.  Continue the intermittent periods until all the color is  nearly faded. 

 When the color is nearly gone, a few minutes of gentle stroking adds a  nice finishing touch.  Then lotion or oil applied after warming in the palm   do not apply it cold.