Frequently Asked Questions - All FAQs

FAQs - All FAQs

The Asj web site is NOT a porn site, however, it is considered to be an adult web site dealing with mature adult content.  Because of this, some commercially available internet filtering software will classify the Asj Web Site as an "Adult Web Site".  Additionally, the Asj Web Site has self identified the site as being a site in which access to the site by those under 18 years old is prohibited.  With this self designation, many public computer systems such as libraries will block access to the site to preclude the possibilities of minor children accidentally, or intentionally accessing the Asj site.

So why are people drawn to bondage? Some might oversimplify and suggest those into bondage want to submit and give up control. For many, however, bondage is just a bridge to take them someplace else they want to go. It might be an occasional dash of spice in an otherwise vanilla sex life or a person's erotic world might revolve around it. In general, bondage is liberating in some way. It allows things to happen that couldn't otherwise happen. It's best viewed as a tool used to enhance sexual or other forms of pleasure.

D/s (Dominance/submission) usually involves more than sceneplay: it's often more of an agreement between people that can extend to any and all areas of their lives. BDSM (Bondage-Discipline-Sado-Masochism) usually refers to specific physical activities within a relationship. There is a lot of crossover in the two areas, and most people are involved in a combination of both, by varying degrees.

Whatever kind you like! There are countless sex toys and BDSM accessories available in specialty stores, adult bookstores, and on the web. Many people put their creativity to use and make their own BDSM toys. Your choices are only limited by your bank account, your tastes, and your imagination. You can have a fully supplied dungeon or you can use ordinary household items. Your imagination is the ultimate toy - use it frequently!


Explore pet supply stores, hardware stores, and other low-cost alternatives to specialty stores if you're just beginning. You may also want to considering visiting the Asj store, located at   The only real concern you should have is safety - don't ever use anything that could cause serious injury without knowing how to use it properly. There's a fine line between what is a toy in one person's hand and a weapon in another's.

Wikipedia defines BDSM as an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role play. The compound initialism BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

Here on the Asj web site, you'll find many pages of articles and topics that go into great depth in defining what BDSM is.  You'll also find that a BDSM  relationship can be very unique to those involved in the relationship.  Take the time to read and you'll find things you should be aware of, such as "Safe, Sane and Consensual" (SSC) and "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK)


Collaring is when a Dom/me (or Master/Mistress) and a sub (or slave) make a formal commitment to each other. Many people hold public or private collaring ceremonies to commemorate their agreement, and usually a literal collar is placed around the sub's neck as a symbol of the event. A collaring might be thought of as the D/s version of a wedding, and most people consider collared relationships as seriously (or more so) than marriage. Many collared couples are also married to each other. Again, individual situations can vary regarding the significance: collaring may or may not involve commitments of fidelity, for instance. A collar can range from being a symbol to something worn during specific times to something worn 24 hours a day. Wearing of a collar doesn't necessarily mean that a formal collaring has taken place; it's often an accessory for BDSM activity even between casual play partners.

Your personal information, including such things as your real name, address, phone number and many other things is exactly that... personal!  There is no need or requirement for you to share that information.  Politiely, but firmly let the person know that you are not comfortable with sharing that information and do NOT give it to them.  If the individual still persists, please let an administrator or moderator know and we'll assist you in dealing with the issue.  You may be a submissive or slave, but you are not their submissive or slave!.

The Asj Web site and Online Community has three levels of access Public, Silver (Basic) and Gold (Premium).  Each level of membership has access to additional features which may result in you seeing more, or fewer menu options or selections than another user.  If you are not seeing these additional menu choices, or features, check to ensure that you are logged in.  If you are logged in and are still unable to access these features, check your profile and verify your membership level or status.  If this does not resolve the issue, contact our Member support by clicking on any of the Member/Visitor support icons located on most pages of the Asj web site.  Additional issues can always be addressed by contacting us at

No, not at all!  The Asj website is a resource that is open and available to anyone (18 years of age or older) to use.  Within the Asj web site, there are additional premium features available only to "logged in" members in, such as our chat rooms, blogs and forums.  Additionally, premium members will find there are additional articles and postings that can only be viewed by logged in members.

For the public areas of the Asj web site membership is not required, however if you haven't subscribed, may we suggest you try our "Free Trial Membership" option.  It is completely free and no credit card or commitment is required.

While BDSM activities of one form or another are usually found within a Dominant submissive relationship, there is no requirement for BDSM (excluding of course the Dominant submissive component) to be a part of a D/s relationship.  Remember, each D/s relationship is unique.  Your relationship is, and should be what you make it.