In the years that i have been involved in the D/s community, the phrase “submission is a gift” has been an often heard statement. It is true, submission is a gift. Our most prized tenet of respectable behavior in the community is that of consent. It is the first advice any respectable lifestyler would give to a novice in the scene and it should be the last word in any discussion on bdsm as we know it. Without consent, the scene ceases to be D/s and becomes abuse. Submission is a gift. The submissive kneels before her Master and presents herself to Him, mind, body and soul. Until that event occurs, there is no D/s.
In many cases, however, that statement is abused, causing submissives to saunter around like queens of Sheba doling out their special brand of candy to the poor needy Doms, who all too often are begging at their feet like hungry puppies. Such scenes have always reminded me painfully of the feminist movement; and makes me embarrassed for both the participants and the D/s community which must endure them.
What sickens me most about the scene i described above though is the blatant lack of acknowledgement of this one simple fact: Domination is a gift. True domination, the power, the mystique, the control is what every submissive yearns for to the core of her very soul. Her nature cries out for the one man who can see beyond her childish games and bring her to her knees. While there are many, many men wandering the scene, especially on the irc, who dream of such power, there are very few with the courage to stand up and be counted as Masters.
Being a Master does not come because a guy waking up one morning, looking at a few bondage magazines and getting the urge to “coller Himself a slave!” Rather, it comes from a combination of the following: a sincere need to be Master; real experience in the ways of bdsm, honesty and a high regard for the submissive and her role in His life, and the courage to go the distance regardless of the difficulties and obstacles faced.
Having the heart of a Master is something that, i believe, a Man is born with. Like that of a submissive, one does not just decide to be Dominant, let alone to be Master. Most often Dominants speak of having fantasies since early childhood which have grown and developed over the years. In the conglomeration of activities that make up the bdsm community as we know it, there are many different styles of play ranging from the simple act of spanking one’s girlfriend, to a more formal scene acted out by a Top and bottom, to a Dominant that dabbles here and there with a variety of submissives. But at the top of this ladder, is the role of the Master, one who has dedicated Himself to the Domination of His property and all of the responsibilities that such an act entails. To have the desire to strive for such a position is something that a true Master will know in His heart and have the courage to admit.
Regardless of the popular irc opinion of “if your nick is capped you’re a Master”, becoming a Master requires experience. It requires the Dominant to pick up a flogger and learn to use it, it requires a basic knowledge of D/s protocol. In addition it requires an understanding of the submissive and her needs. She comes to Him because only He can fulfill her greatest desires that have been in her heart since her own childhood. But submissives come with complexities, each one is a unique puzzle that has to be solved. To be a Master, a Dominant must know more than how to tie a perfect knot, rather He must be able to untie the knots of protection the submissive has bound around her heart. He must know more than how to give a superb beating, rather He must be able to know when to give the beating and more importantly how to get the submissive to stop beating herself up.
Such knowledge of submissives only comes from a high regard and a great respect for these mystical creatures, who are so extremely powerful and yet desire nothing more than to be overpowered. A true Master can look into the eyes of His property and see His own heart beating. Only He has the ability to make her feel her true priceless worth while kneeling at His feet in utter obedience. He can be trusted to hold her secrets in strictest confidence, holding in His hand the truths that have weighed heavily on her heart, so that she may walk lighter during the day.
But the most important thing that makes a Man a Master is the courage it takes to stand up and be counted as a Master. This does not mean He tells anyone who asks, “Sure I’m a Master”. It means that when the going gets tough, He shows up for the job. When the submissive is at her lowest, He raises her up. When the submissive needs the punishment that hurts the Master more than the property, He is willing to put on a cold face and strike her without mercy so that the property may have the peace and forgiveness she so greatly needs. It means that day after day, He is Master… not only when it suits Him, not only when it’s convenient, not only when it’s easy.
Being a Master demands respect and should a Master choose to take a submissive as His property, His actions should be honored for what they are… a true and priceless gift. Any Master that truly respects His role as Master knows that taking property means taking on a great deal of responsibility and any submissive worthy of being property should know and respect the gift that she has been honored with.
This is dedicated to my Master, my only Master, whom i respect more than anyone else on this great Earth, not for who He says He is, but because of what He does… Every day… He shows up.
His most devoted slave,