Facts about BDSM
A submissives journey
A submissives journey
Mutual consent is what
distinguishes BDSM from abuse and assault, just as
consent distinguishes sex from rape.
Context
is what determines whether or not pain is
experienced as pleasurable, though the context
depends on the individual. An example of "good" pain
may be getting scratched during sex, while an
example of "bad" pain may be stubbing your toe.
Some individuals view BDSM as their sexual
orientation, like heterosexuality, homosexuality,
and bisexuality. Others view it as a chosen sexual
practice. In either case, it needs to be respected.
Not all BDSM play is between heterosexual
couples. People who practice BDSM may be either
monogamous or polyamourous.
BDSM may or may
not include sexual contact. For example, during a
"scene" which centers around the use of flogggers
the partners may not have physical contact which
goes beyond friendly hugging, yet to each
individual, the scene may be sexually arousing. This
sexual energy may be used at the end of a "scene"
either with that partner, another partner, or by the
individual alone.
People who are submissive
with their partner in a BDSM "scene" may not be
necessarily submissive in other aspects of their
lives.
BDSM can encompass physical and/or
psychological interactions. Ligature marks around
wrists or ankles cause safety questions to be
raised. War patients about erotic asphyxiation -
choking play or hanging play is very dangerous but
common.
Accidents can happen n BDSM, just as
in any other physical activity, but this isn't
abuse.
Rings, collars, brands, piercings or
tattoos can be symbols of commitment which are as
sacred as marriage bands.
Both "tops" and
"bottoms" can have bruises or soreness from a play
session (scene). Both "tops" and "bottoms,”
regardless of their sex, can be abused.
Not
all women "sub/bottom" and not all men "Dom/top."
Some people are proud of their bruises
marks/cuts just as they might be proud of a hickey
on their neck. Don't assume it is a problem or a
mistake.
Partners who know each other very
well may sometimes "negotiate" a scene without a
"safe word" - this is still not abuse but a matter
of profound trust.
Did you know, the Asj Community hosts
Dominant - submissive (D/s) and BDSM Lifestyle Classes and Discussions here online every Sunday evening at
9:00 pm Eastern Time. The Classes and Discussions are open to all
and Free to attend.
Visit
our Members Only Pages for more information, or click any
of our 'ask live' icons to ask for more information.