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A submissives journey - Candles in the Dungeon

CANDLES IN THE DUNGEON

Fire, it may seem silly even to mention fire, but the fires of passion can be accompanied by real flame within seconds. Even if its a very minor fire, feeling like an idiot can spoil the mood.

Very experienced people have set fire to their hair while administering wax. Beds, curtains, rooms and whole houses have been offered up as a unintentional sacrifice to Eros. Instances of holiday tents disappearing into the evening sky in a large puff of smoke are not unknown. Whereas this is one way of getting rid of a troublesome sub, it does leave one with the reputation of a careless Dom.

Make sure candles are not left anywhere where a gesturing flick of the crop can land them in the tissue box, or under Aunty's nice lace curtain. Your bound partner may consider you a bit over the top if left in a burning room, and dear old Aunty may be a little burned up herself. The safe positioning of candles seems obvious, but in the heat of the moment, especially long after wax play is over, it is amazing how unsafe lit candles can become.

Extinguish candles as soon as the desired effects have been achieved. The candles I buy come with wise instructions :

Never leave a burning candle unattended.

Do not allow wick trimmings or other foreign materials to remain on or in the candle.

Always burn the candle in a non-flammable receptacle.

Accidents do happen, even if you are super careful, so have some way of extinguishing fire easily to hand. (Pissing on Aunty's long suffering curtains might not be easy if you have erection, so even if you are male have some extra fire dousing equipment)

If you plan to be waving candles around, you may need to be a little careful about flammability of the clothes you are wearing and of the material that the sub may wearing or surrounded by. I have a length of soft and deliciously sensuous teddy bear fur, made of nylon, that I use as "Slave furs". It is unsuitable for sleeping in, or for using if there is naked flame around, as it could become a fireball in seconds.
Testing warm wax on skin :

ALWAYS test the wax of each candle on yourself EACH TIME. A quick drip or two to the inner forearm can be achieved without spoiling the mood.

Next test the same wax on your submissive, building them up to the experience before any "pouring" of wax is often appreciated. Be aware that your submissive is likely to feel the wax as hotter or even cooler than you do, especially if they are bound helpless and vulnerable, blindfolded and quivering. Every sensation may be more intense!! People also vary with what they can take.

Reactions may be effected by factor such as mood, health, tiredness, and the head spaces the bottom is in. A sub who usually adores very hot wax may sometimes be unable to take even cool wax. A precautionary tale (by now a dungeon legend) is of a Mistress who had bought the same candles in the same boxes from the same small store for many years, for wax play purposes. She was halfway through a box. She might have been excused for thinking she did not need to test these candles on herself each time, but she was thorough, and always tested. Somehow an identical looking candle of vastly different composition had snuck into the box, presumably when it was being packed by the manufacturer/distributor. The near happy conclusion is that although she badly burned her arm testing the item on herself (and now has a scar) she did not harm her restrained sub. (Damn it, us Dom/mes are noble). It pays not to use ice and then wax without extreme caution.


Candles and Dungeon Atmosphere :

The soft warm light of candles is flattering to most skins. Candlelight has long been associated with romance. The flickering of candle light can seem sinister, or deeply beautiful and reassuring, depending on how the dominant chooses to set the mood. Candle holders abound, from covered lanterns to special purpose "skulls".

Many beautiful candles can also be found for decorative purposes. Very shiny candles are not good on the skin as all kinds of agents might be used to create the shine, including acrylics, most of which are not skin friendly. Candles with metal in them are obviously not good for skin play. Use common sense.

Broad base candles seem to work best for most dungeons. They are less easily destabilized and broader candles are better for wax cooling if they will be used on the skin. Have a working battery torch around in case of power failure. If using candles in an area where earthquakes may possibly happen it pays to ensure that candles are extra secure and even if they fall they will not cause too much damage. (Adelaide, South Australia, is built on a fault line)

Aromatherapy burners using tea light candles provide limited light and great atmosphere if you are sure of the scents effect on your submissive. Oil burners with tea lights may also be a way of keeping melted paraffin wax for scenes, be careful that there are no trace chemicals in the burner that might effect the skin in unpredictable ways.



Melt Temperatures :

The higher you hold the wax from the body, the cooler it will be when it lands. At first, leave pouring wax for very low melt temperature candles. The amount of area the wax pools in at the burning end of a candle effects the temperature of the wax, as the longer it has to cool the lower the temperature, so very broad blunt candles will often provide beautiful wax.

When using very broad candles which have been burning and have a nice pool of wax I often extinguish the flame just before pouring. The flame does not ruin the side of the candle as I tilt it then, and the wax begins to cool even faster. Birthday candles tend to be very hot. Tea light and other long burn candles may have hardeners which can drastically increase the temperature of the wax. Some tea candles are pure paraffin, though, test your candle.

Fortunately simplicity and lack of exotic agents means cheap easily found white emergency candles are often the best for wax play. It is worth shopping around for very low melt temperature candles. These can be poured on the body for a wonderfully erotic warmth, even on the outer genitals. Please do not use molten wax in any orifices. Internal burns, irritations, and blockages are extremely bad news. If you decide to melt wax in a pot instead of using a candle, please don't use a microwave as it will heat unevenly which may pose a burning risk.



Applying Wax :

When pouring or dripping the wax, be careful. Wax splashing everywhere can be undesirable, experiment a bit with pouring, dripping, and splashing at different speeds. I like to use old sheet on the floor to catch stray drips but sheets alone may not be enough to protect carpet, so many people use ground sheets.

A long wick may burn off when you tip it, and fall onto the skin, where it will continue burning. This happened to me during experimentation. As you are applying wax to the skin using a lit candle, think about what is above the candle flame. Hair is flammable, and if the bottom is upright the heat may rise uncomfortably to the tummy, or, chin. Singed hair smells awful, and accidentally burnt subbies quickly lose their confidence.



Where To Use Wax :

The face and head are bad places to use wax. The risk of burning, and of damage, especially to the eyes, is too much. It is difficult and painful to remove wax from head hair, and if head hair accidentally gets alight it can be disastrous, as well as smelling bad. Be very careful of body areas where the skin is sensitive, thin, and has a rich blood supply, or where there is mucous. Molten wax is unsuitable for internal use. Very hairy people will find wax a special trial, as the wax needs to be removed and may take the hair with it.

Body jewelry such as piercing can have their own complications as wax leaking into the piercing can even cause infections, and it can be difficult to clean wax coated body jewelry. Wait until piercings are fully healed and scarred before letting wax near them. The individual circumstances of your sub is important too. Broken capillaries, chemical sensitivities to dyes or other chemicals in the wax, damage to the soles of diabetic's feet.

Recently shaved skin isn't really suitable for waxing as there is a risk of skin infection. Recently flogged or otherwise sensitized skin will feel everything much more. Cold skin will feel wax as much harsher and may even burn seriously, it is wise to avoid waxing goose bumped skin. If the skin has chemicals on it, such as deodorant, perfumes, or the like, it is also sensible to test before using a lot of wax.



Emotion :

I have played with a submissive who was reduced to terror by even a single drop of wax. Just to make things more complicated, he had no idea before hand that he would react this way. We need to be aware of the condition of play partners always, and the possibility of unpredictable reactions. Wax play can be done purely for sensations and reactions, but wax can also look very pretty on a body, like a shimmering lake, or dragons scales, you can even create pictures. The aesthetics of wax play can be satisfying, very beautiful. After your first few times with wax you may like to try it. If this is your first play with making your submissive into an object of art, you will need to be very aware of their feelings. Not just for the wax, but also for the "art" dynamic.

A submissive may love wax during one session, and be unable to handle it the next. This is something to be aware of in emotional safety. Candle play can be used in D/s ritual play very easily. Please do not use ritual play until you are aware of the emotional safety issues (for both Dom/me and sub) surrounding this, and you are not confident of the abilities of both yourself and the submissive to handle it. Ritual play has special risks.



Wax Removal :

Keep removal of the wax in mind when playing. With hairy areas it is usually better to very cautious or only apply to areas where hair as been removed. It can be very painful to remove, and with new players this could turn out to not be fun! Removing wax from a hairy sub may become tedious if it takes ages. Wax will normally be able to be removed in a hot shower with no ill effects, provided the submissive is not so deep in subspace as to be dangerous in the shower. Wax can usually be left on the skin until the session is over without harm.

Wax on non hairy parts can be pulled off in sections, or scraped off with blunt edges (I like using a blunt plastic tool that came with my fridge for this!) It can even be partially cropped off.. The variations are endless. Safety rules apply to removal methods too. Bear in mind that the wax will fly everywhere if flogging is used to remove it. Such methods of removal are advanced, for those who are confident of their abilities with the flogger and the submissives ability to handle this rather intense sensation. If you do it, be especially careful of body jewelry, and consider the possible effect on the flogger itself.

Using ice to cool wax for removal can be unsuitable in rare cases for those with sensitive skin that may be adversely effected by extremes in temperature. Cold water may be a better option for such bottoms. I usually do not cool the wax in any way, leaving to harden on the skin. If you use a spray bottle of cold water, the sensations can be wonderful. If suddenly applying an extreme change of temperature without warning, be wary of sending a hypersensitive submissive reacting strongly. This especially important if they are in a position where they can fall.



Beginners Wax on Skin Scene :

For first time wax play I recommend starting with the sub on the floor, and you standing. This way you can begin to drip wax (after testing it on yourself) from a height of four feet. You can always move closer. If they do have an unexpected reaction or panic, they have nowhere to fall. I suggest less is more for the first session with candles, unless the bottom adores it.

The upper back and shoulders are a good starting point. (Be careful of getting it in the hair). Watch for the bottom moving suddenly, as you could end up waxing somewhere you had not intended. For first time use of wax I don't like bondage or suspension. For first time wax play white candles are usually best. If you want try exotic candles I believe it is best to leave them for when you are very confident of your subject and your candles.



Scented Candles Aromatherapy Candles :

Using essential oils thoughtfully placed in the playroom may provide a lovely play room atmosphere. Be aware of the sensitivities and allergies of your bottom, possibly trying the scents around them in out of scene context first. Scent memory is very powerful. For example, a scent of pines in a play room would put me off due to the associations it has. Ascent of grapefruit is one I find refreshing and invigorating. Allergies can be unpleasant too (I am allergic to mint and consequently do not like the scent of it). Useful for inducing roman showers, but an abysmal choice otherwise.



Perfumed candle wax can have unusual effects on the skin, sometimes unpredictable depending on the bottom and their skin's reactions. Some perfumes often won't increase the melting temperature of wax, but the hardeners often used in these candles may. You can get severe burns that keep on burning right through the skin and causes caring very easily from perfumed candles, because of all the chemicals. Perfumed candles aren't wise beginning wax play.



Beeswax Candles :

Beeswax Carefully placed lit beeswax candles may add a pleasant candlelit ambiance to a room, but they are unsuitable for wax play on skin. This is because Beeswax burns much hotter than paraffin, and commercial beeswax candles often have hardeners added to further increase the already higher melting temperature.

Beeswax candles bring a risk of deep burning, and generally are not a really good idea for wax play for beginners. Gasping as warm wax cools on the heated skin of a bottom who is floating blissfully can be wildly sexy. Muttering from a distressed and annoyed bottom while you administer first aid for burns isn't as romantic. It can cause unpleasant painful burns leading to infections or even scarring. Beeswax is notorious for scarring.



Colored Candles for Dungeon :

Lighting colored candles offer a decorative alternative. Color therapy is very interesting, and considering the colors used in the playroom is not only stylish, it can help you to create the mood you are looking for. Colors often won't increase the temperature of a candle. The hardeners and chemicals often used in such candles and the common taper shape (which discourages the wax from pooling and cooling) will.

Usually the darker the candle the more additives so the hotter it is. I have found pure black candles suitable for skin, however. There are so many ways of making a candle colored that you really won't be able to tell if it will be cool from its appearance. If you cover an area with some paraffin and let it cool it can provide protection before using colors.



Paraffin :

Paraffin wax is a low melt temperature wax. It is the coolest wax . You can buy it in many supermarkets as it used as sealing wax for preserves. I find it melts super quickly. I use a paint brush to apply it. I have also been told it is nice to use boil proof jugs with a spout, ready for pouring Every so often you may find candles which are almost pure paraffin, though this is rare as they are very melty and therefore do not keep their shape well.

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